This is a joke about POOP!!!!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Stephanie, Oct 14, 2005.

  1. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    :poke: HE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD :laugh:

    Well, it's shit... that's right, shit!
    Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

    Consider:
    You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.

    With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

    You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

    Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

    There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

    You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

    You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

    You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

    Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

    Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

    You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

    You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

    Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

    When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

    And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

    You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

    Well Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head.......... Well, Shit Happens!!!
     
  2. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    It is a versatile word...

    That said, you all should also learn the story of Jack Schitt. (i know this is old, but whatever).

    For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

    Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

    Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Schitt.

    Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

    The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

    Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

    :poop:
     
  3. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Fuzzykitten,

    I'm giving away my age here, but I have heard that joke awhile back a bit...... :laugh: :poop:
    P/S My older son sent that to me about the poop word. :clap1:
     
  4. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    not really, the first time i ever read/heard the jack schitt joke was on a t-shirt that a classmate wore to D.C. on our HS marching band tour back in 1997. i was 16 at the time, so...

    honestly, i have no idea how old it really is, because like i said, i read it only about 8-9 years ago.
     
  5. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    shit is weak....fuck...now there is a word
     
  6. GotZoom
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    GotZoom Senior Member

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    My favorite word. I have never ...repeat never... used it toward someone as in: Fuck you.

    Every other usage though. Oh yeah.

    Perfect word for so many occasions.
     
  7. KarlMarx
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    KarlMarx Senior Member

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    origins of "Fuck" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck#Etymology

    from www.wordorigins.org



    For your homework, arrive at a phrase that uses the words "f**k" and "s**t" that would have been understood by a peasant from the 14th century.....

    class dismissed :)
     
  8. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    i have....very important client .... called him a fucking asshole....turned out i was factually correct
     

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