1. The India Defense Research Development Organization has launched an investigation this week of a man who claims he: a) Hasn't eaten anything in 70 years and lives on air. b) Had a detailed vision about the location of all of Pakistan's nuclear missiles. 2. Stephen Charters was recognized in a unique academic position, the first of its kind in the world. What is it? a) He became the chairman of champagne management at a prestigious management school, which is notable since neither he nor his university is French. b) He became the first professor of "countdown literature," which studies comparative apocalyptic prophecies from around the world. 3. This week's example of media embarrassment was provided by: a) A Fox News reporter who suggested that the Gulf of Mexico oil spill was actually a good preventive measure against hurricanes. b) The Washington Post, who attached a picture of Malcolm X when referencing President Barack Obama. 4. The leader of a nation is embracing some new technology. Who is it? a) Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, who announced he will start Twittering, even though he once called it "terrorism." b) Ousted Kyrgyzstan President Kurmanbek Bakiyev, who was photographed enjoying an iPad. 5. Of all the bicyclists in the world, the one who puts fear into the hearts of his competitors is: a) Jure Robic, who rides so hard he frequently hallucinates and, during one race, thought he was being chased by bearded men on horseback shooting at him. b) Yanto Barker, whose many tattoos and sharpened teeth freak out other riders. 6. Danish researchers unveiled their latest creation this week. What did they invent? a) Glasses that measure pupil dilation to let people know when you find them attractive. b) The world's first "dog phone," which is a keyboard ... attached to a dog. 7. Police in southern Indiana received a report this week from a woman who claimed that: a) Her neighbors had a "massive marijuana growing operation," which turned out to be three tomato plants. b) Her boyfriend attacked her with an airborne Chihuahua. 8. A Hollywood movie studio showed interest in a potential film in an unusual way. While most studios would make a phone call or send an e-mail, Paramount was different. What did it do? a) A male actor surprised the screenwriter at a restaurant by getting down on one knee and offering up an actual diamond "engagement ring." b) The studio sent a goat to the scriptwriter's agent. 9. Today's heartwarming story about a boy doing well, despite his disability, is about: a) A blind 4-year-old who has learned to "see" using a sonar language of dolphin-type clicks. b) A youngster who has developed a $700,000 "World of Warcraft" empire, despite his muscular dystrophy. 10. Proving that there is nothing that Britain won't do to monitor its citizens, the Home Office has announced that it is now testing: a) Using speed-measuring satellites to give drivers tickets for speeding. b) Temporary fingernail RFID chips for children on field trips.