The Perfect Woman...?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Lumpy 1, Aug 16, 2010.

  1. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    I take very little responsibility for this post..I just thought it was at least interesting, yet silly and kinda gross. In fact.. I'm pre-apologizing to the Ladies..:eusa_angel:

    --------------------------:eusa_eh:

    Despite the various different ideas on the theory of the perfect woman, many people believe that a rough list of characteristics can be made. The following is a by-no-means-exhaustive list of possible qualities.

    * The perfect woman... must be very, very beautiful by most standards.
    * The perfect woman... must be taller then most men, including the tall ones.
    And then must be able to shrink perceptibly to that of a short woman for those men
    that desire soft and cute women should the situation arise.
    * The perfect woman... must have an eight inch waist.
    * The perfect woman... must have PERFECT legs that are long, skinny, silky and hair
    never.
    * The Perfect woman... must be able to wear heels on the regular bases, preferably
    heels that are over 6 inches in height, under 2 centimeters in diameter, and digging
    into my trachea.
    * The perfect woman... must be smart, but pretend to be dumb and not notice what
    you're doing there.
    * The perfect woman... must have long hair that regally blows in the wind.
    * The perfect woman... must be really done up on the daily bases.
    * The perfect woman... must be physically and socially between 18 and 30 years old,
    like forever.
    * The perfect woman... must have a vagina and two X chromosome.
    * The perfect woman... must seem to be careless when she sees males in trouble and
    show at least some sign of sadism.
    * The perfect woman... must have a voice that is seductive and hypnotic as
    Cortana/Jennifer Taylor's from Halo.
    * The perfect woman... must enjoy sex at least as much as her significant other.
    * The perfect woman... must be willing to engage in sexual activity with other women.
    * The perfect woman... must never have a period, preferably because of a
    hysterectomy.
    * The perfect woman... must be able to cook well.
    * The perfect woman... must have a sense of humor.
    * The perfect woman... must be able to carry me gingerly around in a sack.
    * The perfect woman... must have impossibly large boobs
    * The perfect woman... must be silent and still eye candy.
    * The perfect woman... must be able to wear diapers when the, very very very VERY
    rare period occurs.

    Perfect woman - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2010
  2. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    :lol:
     
  3. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Love the avatar..

    It brings back memories..:lol:

    My father name was Richard but he always went by the name .. Dick

    As I grew up and knew the other meaning, I noticed that a lot of women would blush when they called him Dick... especially when they first met him..
     
  4. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    [​IMG]

    :eek: :lol:
     
  5. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    The perfect woman screws with lots of gusto and lust until midnight and then turns into a ham and cheese sandwich and a cold beer.
     
  6. Sherry
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    Sherry You're not the boss of me Supporting Member

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    Diapers??:confused:
     
  7. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Yup.. that was odd..
     
  8. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Didn't you forget laundry ?
     
  9. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    What.. there is no "YOU" here.. are YOU trying to get me in trouble... Pal..?
     
  10. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    You're on your own during the week, Bubba. :cool:
     

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