Terrorism musings

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Bootneck, Jun 23, 2009.

  1. Bootneck
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    Bootneck Diamond Member

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    The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.

    Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

    And on the other side of the globe ...

    New Zealand has also raised its security levels from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defence cutbacks, the airforce being down to a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy just a few toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath, New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Austrilia will cimm ind riscue us".

    Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate." Four more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!" "We've run out of snags for the barbie," "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbies cancelled!" There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of this final escalation level.
     
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  2. JBeukema
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    JBeukema BANNED

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    meanwhile, America still needs a color-coded system to tell them how scared to be...
     
  3. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Not being coy here. Seems the Brits stand up when the US falls down on the side of freedom. Obama is not the solution, seems the Brits get that?
     
  4. JBeukema
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    JBeukema BANNED

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    :eusa_eh:

    explain
     
  5. Sunni Man
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    Sunni Man Diamond Member

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    Funny stuff Bootneck!! :lol:
     
  6. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Figure it out, genius.
     
  7. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    Bootneck, you must read a lot of newspapers to be this well-informed!!!:lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
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  8. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    oooookay here...i let you borrow the musings title once....that was a favor...now you have done it again...that becomes a damned habit...and yes musings are mine....so cease and desist...upon threat of the law....
     
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  9. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    and no i dont care how funny he is....if hes that damn good let him find his own title
     

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