Tech Support

Discussion in 'Humor' started by CrimsonWhite, Sep 28, 2006.

  1. CrimsonWhite
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    CrimsonWhite *****istrator Emeritus Supporting Member

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    Dear Tech Support:


    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticed
    that
    the new program began unexpected "home" processing that took up a whole
    lot
    of space and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
    monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Bowling Night
    10.3, Soccer 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
    run my
    favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0
    , but
    the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

    Thanks,
    Troubled User.....

    _____________________________________
    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about after upgrading
    to
    Wife 1.0.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
    is
    just a Utilities and Entertainment program. In reality, Wife 1.0 is
    an
    OPERATING SYSTEM and while designed by its Creator to be a companion
    program
    to Husband 1.0, if not monitored and tended carefully, will end up
    running
    EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return
    to
    Girlfriend 7.0. You CANNOT uninstall, or purge the program files from
    the
    system once installed.

    Attempting to go back to Girlfriend 7. 0 is futile, because Wife 1.0
    is
    designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
    Warnings-Alimony/Child Support/Bankruptcy . I recommend that you keep
    Wife
    1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the
    background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
    You
    may also want to try the seldom used SUBMIT button, but you must be
    VERY
    careful with it. I recommend using it at just the appropriate time,
    the
    trick is knowing when! Usually it is best to have a BIBLE in your hand
    and
    wave it several times before you press it.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!
    because
    ultimately you will most likely have to give the APOLOGIZE command
    before
    the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very HIGH maintenance
    . It
    tends to regularly slip into the dangerous Shop 12.6 mode. When this
    happens, try hitting the CTRL and HOME buttons, or if that doesn't
    work, the
    ESC/RESET button. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such
    as
    Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills/Iron 4.2 .

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
    will
    cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,
    the
    only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
    additional
    software. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Candy 3.3, SPA 4.8 and when all
    else
    fails Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Beautiful
    Secretary/Assistant 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0
    and
    will cause irreversible damage to the ENTIRE operating system!

    Best of luck,

    Tech Support
     
  2. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    very good......Lets not forget the Format c: command though.:laugh:
     

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