Teaching My Daughter That Yes, She Can Have It All

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by IndependntLogic, May 21, 2012.

  1. IndependntLogic
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    IndependntLogic Senior Member

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    It's great being a dad. Not always but for the most part. So my 15 year old daughter got a new BF. He's very respectful and we've met his parents, been out as a group and so on. Yes, I'm very old fashioned when it comes to parenting.
    She's always been on the national honor roll in a school that was just listed as one of the best in the country by Newsweek. I am an education tyrant. So once she got this new Oh So Cute BF, her grades started slipping. Oops. Also, she hasn't been as focused during tennis practice (she's a starter on a team that has been featured in Sports Illustrated - I'm tellin ya, this school ROCKS! Hell, the band just won a Grammy!).
    So we had what dad calls a "Come to jesus Meeting". i asked her "So, do you think you can make Honor Roll AND be #1 seed on the tennis team AND have a boyfriend?"
    She was practically in tears. She REALLY likes this guy. She said "N, n, No." Knowing full well the only option that could be removed from that particular equation.
    "Wrong. You CAN have it all. You really can. You just have to lern how to handle it."
    Hope in the eyes.
    "My job is to teach you how to be happy and have a good life. That requires hard work. Clear goals."
    "I know" says she. She's had written goals since the age of two (ex: "No fusses today" got her a gold star every evening she achieved it).
    "But also love and fun and being goofy! So if you're in a relationship, which you are and I take that completely seriously, then that's fine. But if you're in a relationship and it effects your work, that's an indication something needs to be adjusted. Do you understand what I mean?"
    Hope and comprehension.
    "So we'll have a little less time with your BF. I'm not going to say you can't see him, you just need to learn how to handle and balance things. So you can see him on week-ends for now. Once you're back on national Honor Roll , we'll see about spending more time with him."
    As of today, her grades are better than before he became her BF (3.7), she gets to see him every day after school (We all study AP Chemistry together) AND on week-ends. Which gave me a great excuse to go see The Avengers in 3-D with the kids... and my wife.... and his parents! Like i said, we're old fashioned.
    There's so many neagative things here, I thought I'd share something positive.
     
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  2. BDBoop
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    BDBoop BANNED

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    Nice! It is good to hear. Fifteen is a tough age, and she seems to be weathering it quite well.
     
  3. IndependntLogic
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    IndependntLogic Senior Member

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    OMG she is SO solid. I like to joke that there is no such thing as kharma because I was such a pain in the ass at that age. It helps that my wife stays at home and I'm her primary tennis coach. I think the biggest contributor to the shit so many teens get in, is that most parents just don't spend time with them.
     
  4. BDBoop
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    BDBoop BANNED

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    Nah. It's totally luck of the draw. What you're saying helps, but too many families have three great kids, and a wingnut. You just do what you can, and hope for the best.
     
  5. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    Cool dad. :thup:
    I always to my kids to prioritize things. And that the older you get the more freedoms you have but the more responsibility that comes with it.
     

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