Pets: Interactive Furniture...

[Mr. H.]

I'm sitting in my home office this evening watching WGN nightly news and trolling the boards here.

I swung around in my chair and there's the dog, panting and looking bored. He's really old, like 15 or 16.

So I ask him "How you doing? You got plans for tonight? Tomorrow?"

Then it dawned on me. He's been like a piece of furniture around here. Utilitarian for a variety of reasons, yet interactive in a variety of ways. But with one difference. When he wears out, we'll dispose of him but we won't replace him. At 60 years of age, another dog would likely outlive us.

He's been like a lamp, lighting up our lives at times. A chair, offering relaxation and comfort. A garbage disposal, for obvious reasons...

A burglar alarm? Check.

Footstool? Check.

Bed vibrator? During thunderstorms, yeah.

A drain on the bank account? Hell yes.

A playmate for our only child? Yup.

Mrs. H. figures he's got a year left in him. I figure on five (count 'em, 5). Is that being optimistic of pessimistic?

Yeah, I'll miss him for a while anyway. What scares me the most is that me and the Mrs. will have one less topic to discuss (which will reduce our communication to about zero).

Pets are just interactive furniture. Useful companions to a lifestyle. Accompanied by a lot of noise and poop.

 

[TheOldSchool]

I'm sitting in my home office this evening watching WGN nightly news and trolling the boards here.

I swung around in my chair and there's the dog, panting and looking bored. He's really old, like 15 or 16.

So I ask him "How you doing? You got plans for tonight? Tomorrow?"

Then it dawned on me. He's been like a piece of furniture around here. Utilitarian for a variety of reasons, yet interactive in a variety of ways. But with one difference. When he wears out, we'll dispose of him but we won't replace him. At 60 years of age, another dog would likely outlive us.

He's been like a lamp, lighting up our lives at times. A chair, offering relaxation and comfort. A garbage disposal, for obvious reasons...

A burglar alarm? Check.

Footstool? Check.

Bed vibrator? During thunderstorms, yeah.

A drain on the bank account? Hell yes.

A playmate for our only child? Yup.

Mrs. H. figures he's got a year left in him. I figure on five (count 'em, 5). Is that being optimistic of pessimistic?

Yeah, I'll miss him for a while anyway. What scares me the most is that me and the Mrs. will have one less topic to discuss (which will reduce our communication to about zero).

Pets are just interactive furniture. Useful companions to a lifestyle. Accompanied by a lot of noise and poop.

You know what would extend his life? A young buddy who would love to have him as a friend and a couple of 60 year olds as parents.

 

[Mr. H.]

I'm sitting in my home office this evening watching WGN nightly news and trolling the boards here.

I swung around in my chair and there's the dog, panting and looking bored. He's really old, like 15 or 16.

So I ask him "How you doing? You got plans for tonight? Tomorrow?"

Then it dawned on me. He's been like a piece of furniture around here. Utilitarian for a variety of reasons, yet interactive in a variety of ways. But with one difference. When he wears out, we'll dispose of him but we won't replace him. At 60 years of age, another dog would likely outlive us.

He's been like a lamp, lighting up our lives at times. A chair, offering relaxation and comfort. A garbage disposal, for obvious reasons...

A burglar alarm? Check.

Footstool? Check.

Bed vibrator? During thunderstorms, yeah.

A drain on the bank account? Hell yes.

A playmate for our only child? Yup.

Mrs. H. figures he's got a year left in him. I figure on five (count 'em, 5). Is that being optimistic of pessimistic?

Yeah, I'll miss him for a while anyway. What scares me the most is that me and the Mrs. will have one less topic to discuss (which will reduce our communication to about zero).

Pets are just interactive furniture. Useful companions to a lifestyle. Accompanied by a lot of noise and poop.

You know what would extend his life? A young buddy who would love to have him as a friend and a couple of 60 year olds as parents.

This guy has just enough Chow in him that he would eat a puppy.

And we are currently at the juncture where we can't afford to support another piece of interactive furniture.

 

[TheOldSchool]

My Dog The Paradox - The Oatmeal