Men Strike Back!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by 007, Jul 26, 2006.

  1. 007
    Offline

    007 Charter Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    38,328
    Thanks Received:
    7,867
    Trophy Points:
    1,130
    Ratings:
    +11,941
    Men strike back!


    Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?

    A. None. It should be opened when she brings it
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

    A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?

    A. It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

    A. When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. How do you fix a woman's watch?

    A. You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. Why do men fart more than women?

    A. Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

    A. The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

    A. A woman who won't do what she's told
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. I married a Miss Right.

    A. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

    A. It's called a Wedding Cake.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q. Why do men die before their wives?

    A. They want to.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
    >-------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. nt250
    Offline

    nt250 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    1,013
    Thanks Received:
    72
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +72
    Hilarious
     
  3. JOKER96BRAVO
    Offline

    JOKER96BRAVO Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2004
    Messages:
    4,433
    Thanks Received:
    285
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +285
    Ok, Ok, I try to say at least one bad thing about every group at least once a
    year. I really hate these jokes but here goes.

    What do you do when your dishwasher breaks???

    Slap the bitch and tell her to get back to work.
     
  4. The ClayTaurus
    Offline

    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Messages:
    7,062
    Thanks Received:
    332
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +333
    Why are there no famous female mountain climbers?
     
  5. Bonnie
    Offline

    Bonnie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    9,476
    Thanks Received:
    668
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Wherever
    Ratings:
    +669
    Okay why??:smoke:
     
  6. The ClayTaurus
    Offline

    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Messages:
    7,062
    Thanks Received:
    332
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +333
    Because there's no mountains between the kitchen and the bedroom.


    *ducks*
     
  7. JOKER96BRAVO
    Offline

    JOKER96BRAVO Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2004
    Messages:
    4,433
    Thanks Received:
    285
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +285
    Reminds me of one my brother told me.
    Shit I just broke my once a year rule, Sorry ladies.

    Why did the woman cross the road?
    Who gives a shit, why the hell was she out of the kitchen?
     
  8. Bonnie
    Offline

    Bonnie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    9,476
    Thanks Received:
    668
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Wherever
    Ratings:
    +669
    Well I did ask :slap: anyway

    Brave, Joker or just a gluton for punishment:huh: :D :thanks:
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  9. The ClayTaurus
    Offline

    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Messages:
    7,062
    Thanks Received:
    332
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +333
    I don't tell those sorta jokes much, but I will make an exception for a good one here and there.
     
  10. 007
    Offline

    007 Charter Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    38,328
    Thanks Received:
    7,867
    Trophy Points:
    1,130
    Ratings:
    +11,941
    Best part is, it was my rich horse rancher girl friend, (wannabe), that sent that to me in an email... :shocked1:
     

Share This Page