Long Distance Relationships

[BasicGreatGuy]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

 

[Blagger]

Yes I have, but I ended the 'relationship', as it were, by marrying her. My wife's American and we fooled ourselves into thinking we could carry on our relationship across an ocean. This was before facebook and the telephone calls weren't enough. So, after three weeks apart, I landed at JFK, drove-up unannounced, asked her to marry me, she said yes.

We live in London.

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

Yes I have, but I ended the 'relationship', as it were, by marrying her. My wife's American and we fooled ourselves into thinking we could carry on our relationship across an ocean. This was before facebook and the telephone calls weren't enough. So, after three weeks apart, I landed at JFK, drove-up unannounced, asked her to marry me, she said yes.

We live in London.

Great story. Thanks for sharing. Did both of you cross the pond numerous times before you asked her to marry you?

 

[Blagger]

Yes I have, but I ended the 'relationship', as it were, by marrying her. My wife's American and we fooled ourselves into thinking we could carry on our relationship across an ocean. This was before facebook and the telephone calls weren't enough. So, after three weeks apart, I landed at JFK, drove-up unannounced, asked her to marry me, she said yes.

We live in London.

Great story. Thanks for sharing. Did both of you cross the pond numerous times before you asked her to marry you?

Oh, it had its up-and-downs. I met her through a friend of mine who was working in America for a year. I was visiting him when I met her. I'm not going to go into details, but most of our time together before marriage was in America. I went back for work, and after we tied the knot, she decided she wanted to try living in Europe.

 

[JW Frogen]

I have been in several long distance relationships.

Size matters.

 

[Colin]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes and each trip increases my frequent flier programme by 11,000+ miles!

 

[CreolnVA]

I'm currently in a LDR. He moved to Arizona to be near his sons almost 3 years ago. I was supposed to move out there to be with him,but I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008. I was not done with all my surgeries until Feb. 2009. He still has not found a place of his own..I have an 11 year old daughter that lives with me so I will also have to uproot her. I love him but this is my home. Ever since he has moved there he has been his sons' coach,tutor,and father. I'm afraid that when we get there he will not have time for us. I don't know anybody in Arizona. I haven't been anywhere near Arizona. He visits but only for a few days every 6 months. I can't go there because I would have to pay for a room along with the plane fare. His sister still lives here so he stays with her family while he's here. It's just getting to be too much..

 

[RadiomanATL]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes.

We lived in the same town for a year, and dated for about two weeks while she lived there. We broke up and were just friends for the rest of the time she lived in town. Then she moved about 6 hours away. And then we started dating again. Saw each other maybe twice a month if we were lucky. Sometimes just two days a month. This went on for about 18 months.

Then we finally were able to live in the same state and town when we got married.

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

I'm currently in a LDR. He moved to Arizona to be near his sons almost 3 years ago. I was supposed to move out there to be with him,but I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008. I was not done with all my surgeries until Feb. 2009. He still has not found a place of his own..I have an 11 year old daughter that lives with me so I will also have to uproot her. I love him but this is my home. Ever since he has moved there he has been his sons' coach,tutor,and father. I'm afraid that when we get there he will not have time for us. I don't know anybody in Arizona. I haven't been anywhere near Arizona. He visits but only for a few days every 6 months. I can't go there because I would have to pay for a room along with the plane fare. His sister still lives here so he stays with her family while he's here. It's just getting to be too much..

Have you talked with him about your concerns and fears? If so, what was his reaction?

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes.

We lived in the same town for a year, and dated for about two weeks while she lived there. We broke up and were just friends for the rest of the time she lived in town. Then she moved about 6 hours away. And then we started dating again. Saw each other maybe twice a month if we were lucky. Sometimes just two days a month. This went on for about 18 months.

Then we finally were able to live in the same state and town when we got married.

Congrats. Thanks for sharing. Was the long distance harder than you thought it would be?

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes and each trip increases my frequent flier programme by 11,000+ miles!

That is a lot of frequent flier miles

 

[RadiomanATL]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes.

We lived in the same town for a year, and dated for about two weeks while she lived there. We broke up and were just friends for the rest of the time she lived in town. Then she moved about 6 hours away. And then we started dating again. Saw each other maybe twice a month if we were lucky. Sometimes just two days a month. This went on for about 18 months.

Then we finally were able to live in the same state and town when we got married.

Congrats. Thanks for sharing. Was the long distance harder than you thought it would be?

No, not really.

I've always been a loner kind of person, and very protective of my personal space. So the first year of marriage, being in the same small apartment, together, all the time, was much harder.

We had only dated for 2 weeks, and then were just friends. During the friendship period we only saw each other maybe once a week in a group setting. Then she moved. We had basically never spent any time alone with each other. Then we were married.

 

[Douger]

Shit no. I never drove more than 20 minutes to get laid.

 

[Madeline]

BasicGreatGuy, there are two different sorts of LDRs. One begins in real life, and you can observe your beloved interact with her family and friends, reality test whatever she has disclosed about herself, etc. The other begins -- and often stays -- on the internet. If you have had zero opportunity to spend time together (preferably where your beloved lives, for the reality testing, etc.) I won't say it *cannot* have a happy ending.

But the odds against one are astronomical.

 

[editec]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes.

It worked for while.

In fact, in some ways it probably lasted longer because it was so limited.

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

BasicGreatGuy, there are two different sorts of LDRs. One begins in real life, and you can observe your beloved interact with her family and friends, reality test whatever she has disclosed about herself, etc. The other begins -- and often stays -- on the internet. If you have had zero opportunity to spend time together (preferably where your beloved lives, for the reality testing, etc.) I won't say it *cannot* have a happy ending.

But the odds against one are astronomical.

The same essential core elements should be involved regardless, in my opinion. To wit, the distance aspect is merely a part of the whole.

 

[AquaAthena]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes, I was in one but we married too abruptly without finding the time together to realize we should not be a couple. Talking, long distance, on the phone for two hours a night, does not take the place of being together and does not advance the relationship. He is a great guy though. We married hastily right after 9/11 when a sense of mortality soared within most everyone and so did marriages. It lasted a year and 3 months. I don't regret anything. The lessons I learned far exceeded any disappointments I endured. One of those, and speaking for myself only, being never, ever, enter into a long distance relationship with love in mind...

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it work out for you, and would you do it again? With technology rapidly advancing, it appears that this trend is growing.

Yes, I was in one but we married too abruptly without finding the time together to realize we should not be a couple. Talking, long distance, on the phone for two hours a night, does not take the place of being together and does not advance the relationship. He is a great guy though. We married hastily right after 9/11 when a sense of mortality soared within most everyone and so did marriages. It lasted a year and 3 months. I don't regret anything. The lessons I learned far exceeded any disappointments I endured. One of those, and speaking for myself only, being never, ever, enter into a long distance relationship with love in mind...

Excellent point raised. Phone time and text time cannot take the place of interacting in person.

In my opinion, a relationship takes time to grow. It is, for all intent and purposes, a living entity.

 

[Big Black Dog]

When I married my current wife, she was still in the Navy and stationed in Illinois. I had a Program Manager's job in Virginia. The plan was she would retire from the Navy and to do that it would take about a year for all the paperwork to go through and for her to get retired. Then she was going to move down to Virginia where I was working and we would buy a house and settle in. In the mean while, we would just commute back and forth. This went on for about 3 months and not only was it getting expensive for one of us to fly every weekend, the constant traveling was getting old. So, I resigned from my job and moved to Illinois. The rest is history. Very good history.

 

[CreolnVA]

I'm currently in a LDR. He moved to Arizona to be near his sons almost 3 years ago. I was supposed to move out there to be with him,but I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008. I was not done with all my surgeries until Feb. 2009. He still has not found a place of his own..I have an 11 year old daughter that lives with me so I will also have to uproot her. I love him but this is my home. Ever since he has moved there he has been his sons' coach,tutor,and father. I'm afraid that when we get there he will not have time for us. I don't know anybody in Arizona. I haven't been anywhere near Arizona. He visits but only for a few days every 6 months. I can't go there because I would have to pay for a room along with the plane fare. His sister still lives here so he stays with her family while he's here. It's just getting to be too much..

Have you talked with him about your concerns and fears? If so, what was his reaction?

He says that I have to be patient that he is working hard to get enough money to move me and my daughter there. I think he should have made the money by now (if he truly wanted us there). He says I need to get a hobby and not think about the separation so much. He spends all his time with his sons (football practices,games, homework,school activities). He says that helps him cope. I have no interests like that. I'm on public assistance because my job does not pay much. I can't afford to do anything.