This is a story about how I had to deal with homosexuality in my own family. How I learned to be tolerant of homosexuals and homosexuality. My recent and very immature (even by my own standards) behavior in my Masha Gessen thread may have lead many of you to believe that my intentions regarding my support for gay marriage were not sincere. Trust me, they are. In fact, it runs in the family.
When I was in sixteen years old, my father thought I was old enough to handle the prospect of having a gay uncle. I wasn't. Far from it. I loathed and hated gays, I operated off raw emotion. Still, he sat me down and said "my brother, your uncle, Jared, is Gay, and he wants to meet you." My reaction was negative, though I hid it from him. I didn't want to say no, but I didn't want to say yes either. "Cool" I said. "How am I going to deal with this? I don't even like gay people!" I thought.
So, I asked my devoutly Christian grandmother to advise me on what I should do. I knew homosexuality was wrong to her, and to me as a Christian. But I was shocked to hear her say this: "love him anyway. You should go meet him." Who was I to argue with that? I let my dad know I was interested in meeting him, and so he arranged it. Little did I know I wouldn't ever get to. I was so ruled by the stereotypes given to homosexuals, I procrastinated in the beginning. And today I still regret that.
In the Spring of 2004, my uncle was murdered in North Carolina. When my dad broke the news, he was devastated. And I was filled with guilt, the guilt that I waited, and fought with my feelings too long. I never got to truly understand what it was like for someone who was gay, to be gay. My father told me that Jared had been doing drugs and had a deal go bad on him. I believed him at the time. Today though, when I think back on it, I know for a fact it was a hate crime. To this day I am still saddened by the fact I never got to see him.
I went on the next 8 years despising and loathing homosexuals, forgetting all my grandmother had taught me to do, and doing the exact opposite; forgetting about the death of my gay uncle who had died all because someone hated him for being gay. Then my views began to change. I started making gay friends, making efforts to understand them, to make strides to accept them. This year, an event occurred in my life that ultimately changed my views on gay marriage and gay people forever. It caused me to wrestle deep within myself on the moral implications of supporting gay rights, gay people, and gay marriage.
So, seeking out my grandmother's tutelage once more, I asked, "is it okay for me to support gay marriage?" She told me that while she thought it was wrong, she thought they should be treated the same as everyone else. When I asked, "what if someone running a bakery refused to serve a gay couple?" She again replied, if they're running a business, they should serve everyone equally. Well, with that having been settled, I chose to become a supporter of gay marriage.
Tonight, I am renewing that pledge with a new drive and determination. I strayed from the path I set for myself, and I will honor the memory of my uncle by standing up for the equal treatment of homosexual individuals in America. I dealt with an issue I was hardly prepared to handle 11 years ago, but I was taught that even if one of your own blood represents something you find sinful and wrong, you love them anyway.
I am standing firm on the fact that the 14th Amendment does in fact grant gays the right to marry, because you can't make laws that only pertain to one group over another. That's not fair. I agreed with the reasoning of the Supreme Court and I told my grandmother that. And tonight I discovered that Alexander Hamilton had written something interesting about the courts:
In Federalist 78, He wrote, "The complete independence of the courts of justice is peculiarly essential in a limited Constitution." One can't argue with that. If a founding father said such a thing, how can I dispute that?
Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to believe me, not after the stunts I've pulled tonight. But if you do, I won't let you down again.
When I was in sixteen years old, my father thought I was old enough to handle the prospect of having a gay uncle. I wasn't. Far from it. I loathed and hated gays, I operated off raw emotion. Still, he sat me down and said "my brother, your uncle, Jared, is Gay, and he wants to meet you." My reaction was negative, though I hid it from him. I didn't want to say no, but I didn't want to say yes either. "Cool" I said. "How am I going to deal with this? I don't even like gay people!" I thought.
So, I asked my devoutly Christian grandmother to advise me on what I should do. I knew homosexuality was wrong to her, and to me as a Christian. But I was shocked to hear her say this: "love him anyway. You should go meet him." Who was I to argue with that? I let my dad know I was interested in meeting him, and so he arranged it. Little did I know I wouldn't ever get to. I was so ruled by the stereotypes given to homosexuals, I procrastinated in the beginning. And today I still regret that.
In the Spring of 2004, my uncle was murdered in North Carolina. When my dad broke the news, he was devastated. And I was filled with guilt, the guilt that I waited, and fought with my feelings too long. I never got to truly understand what it was like for someone who was gay, to be gay. My father told me that Jared had been doing drugs and had a deal go bad on him. I believed him at the time. Today though, when I think back on it, I know for a fact it was a hate crime. To this day I am still saddened by the fact I never got to see him.
I went on the next 8 years despising and loathing homosexuals, forgetting all my grandmother had taught me to do, and doing the exact opposite; forgetting about the death of my gay uncle who had died all because someone hated him for being gay. Then my views began to change. I started making gay friends, making efforts to understand them, to make strides to accept them. This year, an event occurred in my life that ultimately changed my views on gay marriage and gay people forever. It caused me to wrestle deep within myself on the moral implications of supporting gay rights, gay people, and gay marriage.
So, seeking out my grandmother's tutelage once more, I asked, "is it okay for me to support gay marriage?" She told me that while she thought it was wrong, she thought they should be treated the same as everyone else. When I asked, "what if someone running a bakery refused to serve a gay couple?" She again replied, if they're running a business, they should serve everyone equally. Well, with that having been settled, I chose to become a supporter of gay marriage.
Tonight, I am renewing that pledge with a new drive and determination. I strayed from the path I set for myself, and I will honor the memory of my uncle by standing up for the equal treatment of homosexual individuals in America. I dealt with an issue I was hardly prepared to handle 11 years ago, but I was taught that even if one of your own blood represents something you find sinful and wrong, you love them anyway.
I am standing firm on the fact that the 14th Amendment does in fact grant gays the right to marry, because you can't make laws that only pertain to one group over another. That's not fair. I agreed with the reasoning of the Supreme Court and I told my grandmother that. And tonight I discovered that Alexander Hamilton had written something interesting about the courts:
In Federalist 78, He wrote, "The complete independence of the courts of justice is peculiarly essential in a limited Constitution." One can't argue with that. If a founding father said such a thing, how can I dispute that?
Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to believe me, not after the stunts I've pulled tonight. But if you do, I won't let you down again.
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