Breaking News ISIS Comes to Utah

Discussion in 'USMB Breaking News' started by Weatherman2020, Mar 7, 2018.

  1. Weatherman2020
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    Weatherman2020 Educating Libs Since 1978

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  2. Weatherman2020
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    Weatherman2020 Educating Libs Since 1978

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    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 2
  3. BULLDOG
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    BULLDOG Diamond Member

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    Oh lord......You're going to dredge that story up again? I'll bet a digital clock was one of the first projects attempted by almost all of electronic engineers and hobbiests when they first started to learn about digital electronics. It's no more a bomb than the alarm clock most people use to help them wake up in the morning.
     
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  4. asaratis
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    asaratis Uppity Senior Citizen

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    As a matter of fact, it was a working clock that the little lyin' bastard took out of its original enclosure and put all the parts in a briefcase. He didn't build anything....except his own ego.

    My first electronic project was a crystal radio. I built it by buying the parts, looking at a circuit diagram and wiring all the parts together. I took it to school and won the Science Fair Blue Ribbon....because it worked.

    Though we humans have used binary math since 1679, the transistor didn't come along until long after I finished my crystal radio.

    There are some books that claim ancient aliens used the binary system, but I don't believe it. They all wore Mickey Mouse watches and Dick Tracy decoder rings.
     
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  5. BULLDOG
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    BULLDOG Diamond Member

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    The key to any electronics is smoke. All those little components are filled with smoke, and as long as you can keep that inside the parts, you have a good chance of making the project work. As soon as any smoke leaks out, throw it away. It's broke.
     
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  6. Weatherman2020
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    Weatherman2020 Educating Libs Since 1978

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    Walk into a court house with one. Better yet, walk into the White House tour line with one, shitforbrains.
     
  7. TheOldSchool
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    TheOldSchool BANNED

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    I googled "Utah teen bomb identity" to see if they've ID'd the kid yet, and the results show all kinds of people threatening to bomb schools in Utah. Damn.
     
  8. asaratis
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    asaratis Uppity Senior Citizen

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    True. If the smoke gets out, the device will quit working.

    Subject: The theory of electricity by Joseph Lucas


    Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work.

    We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working.

    This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

    For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

    The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

    Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

    It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

    Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

    In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

    And remember: "A gentleman does not motor about after dark."

    Joseph Lucas "The Prince of Darkness" 1842-1903

    A few Lucas quips:
    • The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
    • Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
    • Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
    • Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
    • The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
    • The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
    • If Lucas made guns, wars would not start
    • Back in the '70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

    Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
    A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.

    Q: Why did the British never become a big factor in computer development?
    A: Because they couldn't figure out a way to make a computer leak oil.
     
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  9. asaratis
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    asaratis Uppity Senior Citizen

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    I heard the little bastard wanted to fly an ISIS flag on campus. That may be proven fake news, but I did hear it on a news program. I'm betting the little shithead is a recently converted (by social media) radical Muslim.
     
  10. TheOldSchool
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    Yeah but you say that about everything
     

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