india, pak nuclear war

Discussion in 'Politics' started by ravikeerthi, Dec 27, 2012.

  1. ravikeerthi
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    ravikeerthi Rookie

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    Joke : India Vs Pakistan ,Nuclear war
    The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.
    They don't need any permission from their government(actually such a thing does not exist in Porkistan), and promptly order the countdowns.
    Indian technology is highly advanced.In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.
    But they need permission from the Government of India.They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session.
    The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.The President asks for a quick decision.
    In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a re launch are still on.
    Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it.The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.
    The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile.But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.
    Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 milesaway from the target, on its own government building at 11.35AM.Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.
    In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.
    The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.This time all the parties agree.Its three months since the Pak army had started the nuclear war.But as Indian preparations begin, "pro-humanity" and "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Road Rail Blockades are organized.
    In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians to stop the war condemning the Indian government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.Pakistan had enough of it's own technology.A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service.
    Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits its original destination: Russia. (The smuggled missile was an old one made during the cold war times)Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.The missile hits the target and creates havoc.Pakistan cries for help.

    India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.Thus India never gets to launch the missile.Pakistan never gets it right.

    Jai Hind...............
     
  2. Old Rocks
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    Old Rocks Diamond Member

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    Scripted by Monty Python?
     
  3. Matthew
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    Matthew Blue dog all the way!

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    When?
     
  4. jwoodie
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    jwoodie Gold Member Supporting Member

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    A little history, for those who care:

    Clinton Administration wants to get cozy with Red China (remember Chinese campaign contributions?), but DOD won't approve sale of intermediate missile targeting technology to China. So Clinton transfers approval authority to Dept. of Commerce (remember Ron Brown?) who immediately approves sale. Now India is in China's nuclear cross hairs, so they develop their own Bomb as a deterrent. Now Pakistan feels threatened by India, so it develops its own nuclear capability as a deterrent. See how that works? All thanks to the fellow travelers and their useful idiots...
     
  5. Intense
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    Intense Senior Member

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    A Blast from the past. 05/26/98 ;)

    Last February, Schwartz needed a quick decision from the government
    about the launching of a Loral satellite aboard a Chinese rocket later
    that month. Within two weeks the president gave Loral permission –
    overruling the advice of his Justice Department, which was investigating
    Loral’s satellite deals with China. Clinton also broke with past policy
    and the advice of his State Department and Pentagon.

    When was the last time you got an answer — any answer — from the
    federal government in less than two weeks? This was a big favor — a
    huge one. By working with the Chinese, instead of U.S. satellite
    launchers, the deal saved Loral potentially hundreds of millions of
    dollars.
    Read more at The Clinton-Loral-China axis


    The Clinton-Loral-China axis
     

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