What if all presidents had been clueless moonbats like Chairman Zero? Bartlett's would look a little different: "Mr. Gorbachev, that wall is none of our business." Ronald Reagan "December seventh, nineteen forty-one. A date upon which we must ask ourselves, what could we have done to avoid this?" FDR "Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you!" JFK "If America shows weakness and uncertainty, the world will drift toward tragedy. Pretty sure that's gonna happen on my watch." G. W. Bush "Speak softly and eloquently." Teddy Roosevelt "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you really only need to fool the majority of people until the election is over." Abraham Lincoln "To be prepared for war is far too provocative." George Washington Maybe applying Affirmative Action to the presidency isn't such a good idea after all.