THE PRESENT DAY Did you hear the news, Mr. President? The students at the University of Pittsfield are walking out of their classes, in protest over the war. (spits out coffee) Wha What did you say? Apparently, students are standing up in the middle of lectures and walking right out of the building. But students love lectures. If theyre willing to give those up, they must really be serious about this peace thing! How did you hear about this protest? The White House hears about every protest, no matter how small. Oh, right, I remember. You havent heard the half of it, Mr. President. The leader of the group says that if you dont stop the war today theyre going to . . . to . . . Im sorry, I cant say it out loud. Its just too terrifying. Say it, damn it! Im the President! All right! If you dont stop the war . . . theyre going to stop going to school for the remainder of the week. Send the troops home. But, Mr. President! Shouldnt we talk about this? Send the troops home. THE NINETEEN-SIXTIES Mr. President! Did you hear about Woodstock? Woo Woodstock? What in Gods name is that? Apparently, young people hate the war so much theyre willing to participate in a musical sex festival as a protest against it. Oh, my God. They must really be serious about this whole thing. Thats not all. Some of them are threatening to join communes: places where they make their own clothing . . . and beat on drums. Stop the war. But, Mr. President! Stop all American wars! (sighs) Very well, sir. Ill go tell the generals. Wow. Its a good thing those kids decided to go hear music.