Healthy Relationships

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by Joz, May 9, 2006.

  1. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    Below is a description of what a healthy relationship consists of. And I don't see anything unusual about the list. So where do you think most rifts in a marriage/relationship come from?

    1. Intimacy develops slowly over time from a friendship into a committed relationship. You enter into a relationship with someone who is capable of participating in an intimate relationship. They don't have emotional scars from their child hood or previous relationships.

    2. You can trust them. They can trust you. Trust must develop slowly over time.

    3. Being sexual when you want it – not being forced or coerced. Saying no to sex, gifts or attention you don't want.

    4. Not allowing someone to take advantage of you in any way (sexual, financial, and emotional) and not taking advantage of your partner.

    5. The relationship is based on trust, respect and commitment, you don't fear abandonment. You feel secure in the relationship.

    6. You feel relaxed about the relationship, you are not anxious about losing the other person.

    7. There is no drug or alcohol abuse, no love affairs, no physical, emotional or mental abuse.

    8. Your partner is a good friend, you respect each other, you can communicate your wants and needs honestly.

    9. You both encourage each other to be their best. You have concern for each other's happiness. You can talk openly about your needs and are listened too.

    10. Both partners see themselves as equals, no one is superior, there is no need to beg or plead, no need to dominate or compete.

    11. You both support each other's healthy hobbies and interests.

    12.You and your partner both have friends and interests outside the relationship. You are not isolated.

    http://www.leavingabuse.com/healthy.html
     
  2. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    ...when that stuff doesn't happen. :)
     
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  3. The ClayTaurus
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    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

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    Wait wait, I know this....


    Porn?

    :D
     
  4. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    One VERY important aspect that is missing:

    A wife needs to submit to her husbands husbandry, and a husband needs to love his wife as himself - or more.
     
  5. The ClayTaurus
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    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

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    The three key factors that everything stems from IMO.

    1. Honesty
    2. Respect
    3. Intimacy/Attraction

    Without these it's hopeless.
     
  6. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    Yes, these were on the list.
    Honesty comes from knowing the person, to see if honesty exists.
    But why would you enter a relationship where there is no attraction or where you have no respect for the person? Without respect there can be no love.
     
  7. The ClayTaurus
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    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

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    Honesty doesn't evolve. Honesty is either there or it isn't. Trust evolves. Trust comes from knowing the person to see if honesty exists. And it's not so much entering into a relationship without respect or attraction, but remaining in one after they've departed.
     
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  8. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    Personally, I think #'s 1 & 9 are good for starters.
     
  9. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    I agree. Isn't that what I said?
    I agree with the first part but please explain the last.
     
  10. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Sure it does.

    One learns/changes HOW they are honest with their mate. Yes - it's related to trust. As we grow to Trust our mate more, we become more honest.
     

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