Have to speak candidly, I was assaulted by my wife and she was arrested. Advice please, even to those who disagree with me.

[shockedcanadian]

We've both been under a great deal of stress of late, she has been worse due to her gambling addiction, The assaults against me have been going on for years and even though she warned me a number of times if I ever called the police that she would accuse me of beating her, I was forced to call them this time.

I don't want her charged as I believe even after so many attacks on me over the years that, "I married her and took a vow to God" and I try to see it through (my grandfather was the same way). The police said that they are now mandated to charge someone with assault even if they just break a phone!

Due to her extreme reaction when I pushed her away, giving myself some space as I didn't want to be punched by her, I am weary of the aftermath as she came by to pick up her stuff, with police escort and her arm was in a sling. How is it possible for her to be in a sling when all I did was push her?

She stated to the cops that I damaged her arm when they came, but it seems REALLY far-fetched and she attacked me twice while I was lying passively on the couch. Unless it is just inflammation, my suspicions will be firm that it was a screw job at the hospital. There is no way I dislocated her arm for instance, not even if I punched someone am I that strong.

It's ironic too, because after I pushed her away from me, she went around into the kitchen and blocked my way to leaving for downstairs to get away from the situation. She threw a utensil at me and used TWO arms to stab me hard with her cane, which lead to pain to this day (it happened Thurs).

She did not want me to call and pulled the phone out so that I had to recall.

What would one do if the police decide that i am the aggressor and charge me? I am in our home, she is removed. With my bad experienced with the covert ops here, I am never calm even when I know I am in the right,

 

[BULLDOG]

If you would just listen, and do what she says, she wouldn't have to hit you.

 

[shockedcanadian]

What does that mean? This is a serious issue, just be straight for once.

 

[progressive hunter]

We've both been under a great deal of stress of late, she has been worse due to her gambling addiction, The assaults against me have been going on for years and even though she warned me a number of times if I ever called the police that she would accuse me of beating her, I was forced to call them this time.

I don't want her charged as I believe even after so many attacks on me over the years that, "I married her and took a vow to God" and I try to see it through (my grandfather was the same way). The police said that they are now mandated to charge someone with assault even if they just break a phone!

Due to her extreme reaction when I pushed her away, giving myself some space as I didn't want to be punched by her, I am weary of the aftermath as she came by to pick up her stuff, with police escort and her arm was in a sling. How is it possible for her to be in a sling when all I did was push her?

She stated to the cops that I damaged her arm when they came, but it seems REALLY far-fetched and she attacked me twice while I was lying passively on the couch. Unless it is just inflammation, my suspicions will be firm that it was a screw job at the hospital. There is no way I dislocated her arm for instance, not even if I punched someone am I that strong.

It's ironic too, because after I pushed her away from me, she went around into the kitchen and blocked my way to leaving for downstairs to get away from the situation. She threw a utensil at me and used TWO arms to stab me hard with her cane, which lead to pain to this day (it happened Thurs).

She did not want me to call and pulled the phone out so that I had to recall.

What would one do if the police decide that i am the aggressor and charge me? I am in our home, she is removed. With my bad experienced with the covert ops here, I am never calm even when I know I am in the right,

you need to get some video evidence of her abuse and the more the better, that way if she trys to spin it on you you have a long list of her continued abuse,,

I wish I would have done that with my ex but it was long before the camera phone and the best I could do was a big VHS camcorder

 

[shockedcanadian]

you need to get some video evidence of her abuse and the more the better, that way if she trys to spin it on you you have a long list of her continued abuse,,

I wish I would have done that with my ex but it was long before the camera phone and the best I could do was a big VHS camcorder

What about audio clips and the like? I really don't want her charged, but her reaction to my push was over the top, almost premeditated considering how hard she went at me.

 

[progressive hunter]

What about audio clips and the like?

most video has audio with it,,

another thing to do is get at least a dozen videos of abuse and then show it to her and let her know this shit is going to end or she goes to jail,,

it would also help if you decided to go with counseling,,

 

[braalian]

If any of this is true, this is not the appropriate place to seek legal advice and you shouldn’t be discussing ongoing criminal case on a online message board.

 

[BULLDOG]

What does that mean? This is a serious issue, just be straight for once.

Ok. Seriously, either dump the crazy bitch and get away from her, or decide to put up with it. Been there. Done that. You will eventually realize those are your only two options.

 

[shockedcanadian]

If any of this is true, this is not the appropriate place to seek legal advice and you shouldn’t be discussing ongoing criminal case on a online message board.

Why not? I'm in the legal section, it's a forum.

If you've ever been a guy in such a spot, you would want support too. I've called all my family and friends. Besides, I am actually working to get her off if I can, while knowing I have to be concerned for my own civil liberties, especially with those who don't care for me.

 

[Magnus]

We've both been under a great deal of stress of late, she has been worse due to her gambling addiction, The assaults against me have been going on for years and even though she warned me a number of times if I ever called the police that she would accuse me of beating her, I was forced to call them this time.

I don't want her charged as I believe even after so many attacks on me over the years that, "I married her and took a vow to God" and I try to see it through (my grandfather was the same way). The police said that they are now mandated to charge someone with assault even if they just break a phone!

Due to her extreme reaction when I pushed her away, giving myself some space as I didn't want to be punched by her, I am weary of the aftermath as she came by to pick up her stuff, with police escort and her arm was in a sling. How is it possible for her to be in a sling when all I did was push her?

She stated to the cops that I damaged her arm when they came, but it seems REALLY far-fetched and she attacked me twice while I was lying passively on the couch. Unless it is just inflammation, my suspicions will be firm that it was a screw job at the hospital. There is no way I dislocated her arm for instance, not even if I punched someone am I that strong.

It's ironic too, because after I pushed her away from me, she went around into the kitchen and blocked my way to leaving for downstairs to get away from the situation. She threw a utensil at me and used TWO arms to stab me hard with her cane, which lead to pain to this day (it happened Thurs).

She did not want me to call and pulled the phone out so that I had to recall.

What would one do if the police decide that i am the aggressor and charge me? I am in our home, she is removed. With my bad experienced with the covert ops here, I am never calm even when I know I am in the right,

This is very sad to hear. We forget sometimes that there are real humans dealing with real problems. All the best and I hope everything works out in the end.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Ok. Seriously, either dump the crazy bitch and get away from her, or decide to put up with it. Been there. Done that. You will eventually realize those are your only two options.

My friend said the same. In fact, he told me long ago "it will only get worse" and avoided my place due to her lashing out. However, love is difficult, marriage is sacred.

 

[BULLDOG]

My friend said the same. In fact, he told me long ago "it will only get worse" and avoided my place due to her lashing out. However, love is difficult, marriage is sacred.

And bruises hurt.

 

[shockedcanadian]

This is very sad to hear. We forget sometimes that there are real humans dealing with real problems. All the best and I hope everything works out in the end.

It's just me and my old dog here and it's heartbreaking. My dog is stressed too and he senses how I am.

 

[White 6]

We've both been under a great deal of stress of late, she has been worse due to her gambling addiction, The assaults against me have been going on for years and even though she warned me a number of times if I ever called the police that she would accuse me of beating her, I was forced to call them this time.

I don't want her charged as I believe even after so many attacks on me over the years that, "I married her and took a vow to God" and I try to see it through (my grandfather was the same way). The police said that they are now mandated to charge someone with assault even if they just break a phone!

Due to her extreme reaction when I pushed her away, giving myself some space as I didn't want to be punched by her, I am weary of the aftermath as she came by to pick up her stuff, with police escort and her arm was in a sling. How is it possible for her to be in a sling when all I did was push her?

She stated to the cops that I damaged her arm when they came, but it seems REALLY far-fetched and she attacked me twice while I was lying passively on the couch. Unless it is just inflammation, my suspicions will be firm that it was a screw job at the hospital. There is no way I dislocated her arm for instance, not even if I punched someone am I that strong.

It's ironic too, because after I pushed her away from me, she went around into the kitchen and blocked my way to leaving for downstairs to get away from the situation. She threw a utensil at me and used TWO arms to stab me hard with her cane, which lead to pain to this day (it happened Thurs).

She did not want me to call and pulled the phone out so that I had to recall.

What would one do if the police decide that i am the aggressor and charge me? I am in our home, she is removed. With my bad experienced with the covert ops here, I am never calm even when I know I am in the right,

Sounds like a he said/she said unless there is video or unless she Fks the Magistrate. In that case, you're Fked also. Remember the good old days when you could ask Siri where to hide a body?

 

[shockedcanadian]

Sounds like a he said/she said unless there is video or unless she Fks the Magistrate. In that case, you're Fked also. Remember the good old days when you could ask Siri where to hide a body?

I disagree, because I made the call as I wanted them there, she even unplugged the phone on me so that I had to call back. I felt "I have nothing to hide", once she said her arm was in pain I had no choice.

Now I didn't expect them to charge her, I was expecting a warning but apparently they have no discretion which is absurd IMO.

She even admitted to going at me (she grabbed my crotch hard), but said the she "only attempted to", which is a lie. She didn't dispute the throwing of the tablet, the utensil nor the stabbing of me with her cane.

 

[Vastator]

We've both been under a great deal of stress of late, she has been worse due to her gambling addiction, The assaults against me have been going on for years and even though she warned me a number of times if I ever called the police that she would accuse me of beating her, I was forced to call them this time.

I don't want her charged as I believe even after so many attacks on me over the years that, "I married her and took a vow to God" and I try to see it through (my grandfather was the same way). The police said that they are now mandated to charge someone with assault even if they just break a phone!

Due to her extreme reaction when I pushed her away, giving myself some space as I didn't want to be punched by her, I am weary of the aftermath as she came by to pick up her stuff, with police escort and her arm was in a sling. How is it possible for her to be in a sling when all I did was push her?

She stated to the cops that I damaged her arm when they came, but it seems REALLY far-fetched and she attacked me twice while I was lying passively on the couch. Unless it is just inflammation, my suspicions will be firm that it was a screw job at the hospital. There is no way I dislocated her arm for instance, not even if I punched someone am I that strong.

It's ironic too, because after I pushed her away from me, she went around into the kitchen and blocked my way to leaving for downstairs to get away from the situation. She threw a utensil at me and used TWO arms to stab me hard with her cane, which lead to pain to this day (it happened Thurs).

She did not want me to call and pulled the phone out so that I had to recall.

What would one do if the police decide that i am the aggressor and charge me? I am in our home, she is removed. With my bad experienced with the covert ops here, I am never calm even when I know I am in the right,

That a tough position. Women are nearly just as likely as men to be domestic abusers. But typically our Western legal systems still tend to treat women as "the fairer sex". Men reporting abuse is somewhat taboo, and oftentimes the legal system doesn't take these things as seriously as they do with men. That said, you've already stated that this far from the first time. So you knew what you had on your hands. Either continue to deal with it. Or end it. Just remember... The courts favor women in situations like these, and Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So even if you somehow get this incident swept under the rug; don't discount her possible desire to even the score by getting the law involved. And 9 times out of 10 the man is going to be presumed guilty from the word go. And she certainly knows this...

 

[Magnus]

It's just me and my old dog here and it's heartbreaking. My dog is stressed too and he senses how I am.

I wish I can offer you more. As a famous proverb put it...“It's always darkest before the dawn”. Hang in there.

 

[BULLDOG]

I disagree, because I made the call as I wanted them there, she even unplugged the phone on me so that I had to call back. I felt "I have nothing to hide", once she said her arm was in pain I had no choice.

Now I didn't expect them to charge her, I was expecting a warning but apparently they have no discretion which is absurd IMO.

She even admitted to going at me (she grabbed my crotch hard), but said the she "only attempted to", which is a lie. She didn't dispute the throwing of the tablet, the utensil nor the stabbing of me with her cane.

The longer you stay, the more chance she has to screw you, but not in the fun way.

 

[shockedcanadian]

That a tough position. Women are nearly just as likely as men to be domestic abusers. But typically our Western legal systems still tend to treat women as "the fairer sex". Men reporting abuse is somewhat taboo, and oftentimes the legal system doesn't take these things as seriously as they do with men. That said, you've already stated that this far from the first time. So you knew what you had on your hands. Either continue to deal with it. Or end it. Just remember... The courts favor women in situations like these, and Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So even if you somehow get this incident swept under the rug; don't discount her possible desire to even the score by getting the law involved. And 9 times out of 10 the man is going to be presumed guilty from the word go. And she certainly knows this...

The level of abuse she has used against me would flatten some people. I tried to hang on, hoping she might get better, hoping my life might be allowed to go forward with a career, but it's not the case obviously.

It's weird, because it's almost a "trauma bond" with her. If not for her gambling, we wouldn't be in this spot.

 

[strollingbones]

addiction is addition...she is not going to stop gambling and she is not gonna stop the physical and mental abuse...she is outta the house..keep her out and sue her ass for desertion ...lawyer up now