Greetings

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Buck111, Nov 4, 2016.

  1. Buck111
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    Buck111 VIP Member

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    Browsed your forum and found some interesting discussions I would like to become a part of.
    Am very opinionated and enjoy a good debate.
     
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  2. Leighton
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    Leighton Rookie

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    I am new as well. But welcome!
     
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  3. aaronleland
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    aaronleland Gold Member

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    I love opinionated people so long as I agree with them. If not I hate you.

    Welcome either way. :)
     
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  4. IsaacNewton
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    IsaacNewton Gold Member

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    Season's Greetings.

    If you're thinking about dancing we better not see this:


     
  5. JakeStarkey
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    JakeStarkey Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Welcome
     
  6. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    :lol:

    Now please take this as a compliment. :)

    I came in here to argue.

    No. Not the lumberjack room.

    That's two doors down to the left.

    "But I wanted to argue."

    Wait what the hell? Who said you could argue?

    So you just thought you could roll in here and start a fight?

    Just for fun. It's an old Monty Python sketch.

    Here's the real deal. One of my most faves.


    The Argument Sketch

    A man walks into an office.

    Man: (Michael Palin) Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.

    Receptionist: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?

    Man: No, this is my first time.

    Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?

    Man: Well, what would be the cost?

    Receptionist: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.

    Man: Well, I think it's probably best if I start with the one and then see how it goes from there, okay?

    Receptionist: Fine. I'll see who's free at the moment.

    (Pause)

    Receptionist: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.

    Man: Thank you. (Walks down the hall. Opens door.)

    Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?

    Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...

    Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!

    Man: What?

    A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!

    M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!

    A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!

    M: Oh! Oh I see!

    A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.

    M: Oh...Sorry...

    A: Not at all!

    A: (under his breath) stupid git.

    (The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.)

    Man: Is this the right room for an argument?

    Other Man:(John Cleese) I've told you once.

    Man: No you haven't!

    Other Man: Yes I have.

    M: When?

    O: Just now.

    M: No you didn't!

    O: Yes I did!

    M: You didn't!

    O: I did!

    M: You didn't!

    O: I'm telling you, I did!

    M: You did not!

    O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

    M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.

    O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.

    O: Anyway, I did.

    M: You most certainly did not!

    O: Now let's get one thing quite clear: I most definitely told you!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: No you DIDN'T!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: No you DIDN'T!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: No you DIDN'T!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

    (pause)

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it isn't!

    (pause)

    M: It's just contradiction!

    O: No it isn't!

    M: It IS!

    O: It is NOT!

    M: You just contradicted me!

    O: No I didn't!

    M: You DID!

    O: No no no!

    M: You did just then!

    O: Nonsense!

    M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!

    (pause)

    O: No it isn't!

    M: Yes it is!

    (pause)

    M: I came here for a good argument!

    O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!

    M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

    O: Well! it CAN be!

    M: No it can't!

    M: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

    O: No it isn't!

    M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.

    O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!

    M: Yes but it isn't just saying 'no it isn't'.

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it isn't!

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it isn't!

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

    O: It is NOT!

    M: It is!

    O: Not at all!

    M: It is!

    (The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)

    O: Thank you, that's it.

    M: (stunned) What?

    O: That's it. Good morning.

    M: But I was just getting interested!

    O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.

    M: That was never five minutes just now!!

    O: I'm afraid it was.

    M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....

    O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.

    M: WHAT??

    O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

    M: But that was never five minutes just now!
    Oh Come on!
    Oh this is...
    This is ridiculous!


    O: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!

    M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.

    O: Thank you.

    M: (clears throat) Well...

    O: Well WHAT?

    M: That was never five minutes just now.

    O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

    M: Well I just paid!

    O: No you didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I don't want to argue about it!

    O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!

    M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!

    O: No you haven't!

    M: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.

    O: Not necessarily. I *could* be arguing in my spare time.

    M: I've had enough of this!

    O: No you haven't.

    M: Oh shut up!

    (Man leaves the office)

    Welcome to USMB

    Monty Python: The Argument Sketch
     
  7. Buck111
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    Buck111 VIP Member

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    Thank you for the welcomes.
    @ IsaacNewton - not a dancer so you needed worry about that. Thanks for the video though, was fun to watch.
    @ tinydancer - I tend to argue a bit differently. Reading your post brought back a lot of memories of Monty Python. Mostly that I didn't like him. :lol:
     
  8. Stasha_Sz
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    Stasha_Sz Gold Member

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    :welcome:

    Welcome to the boards...

    "them"

    So you feel right at home:
     
  9. Buck111
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    Buck111 VIP Member

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    Them. Him. Shows how much I care. Other than Bennie Hill, I find no humor in British comedy. However, I can appreciate others enjoyment of things I don't enjoy. I have a lady friend who sings like a cat with its tail slammed in a door. She thinks she is good and enjoys singing - as long as she is happy, who am I to tell her not to do it? I simply find someplace else to be when she sings and life is good for both of us.
     
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