Got this from a friend of mine (no offense intended)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kagom, Feb 12, 2006.

  1. Kagom
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    Kagom Senior Member

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    Who got this from her sociology teacher when she was in college.

    THE HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE

    1. What do you think caused you heterosexuality?

    2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?

    3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you can grow out of?

    4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

    5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

    6. Do your parents know that you are straight? do your friends and/or roommates know? How did they react?

    7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

    8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

    9. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

    10. A disproportionate majority of child molestors are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers and babysitters?

    11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly please each other being so anatomically different?

    12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

    13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest incidence of STD's. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?

    14. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

    15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

    16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective?Don't you feel they might be inclined to influence you in the direction of their own leanings?

    17. There seems to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you ever tried aversion therapy? Or the Church?

    18. Would you want your child to be a heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
     
  2. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    1. What do you think caused you heterosexuality?
    tits

    2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?
    when i saw my first tit

    3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you can grow out of?
    nope i like tits too much

    4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
    nope

    5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
    no tits

    6. Do your parents know that you are straight? do your friends and/or roommates know? How did they react?
    yep, yep, don't care

    7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?
    i don't...i do

    8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
    i don't

    9. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
    i don't

    10. A disproportionate majority of child molestors are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers and babysitters?
    with a background check sure

    11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly please each other being so anatomically different?
    sleep.....no clue, luck i guess

    12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
    gays keep stealing our spouses

    13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest incidence of STD's. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?
    as long as they get married before the start having sex they will be ok

    14. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?
    don't be compulsive

    15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
    don't have lots of kids

    16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective?Don't you feel they might be inclined to influence you in the direction of their own leanings?
    no....i don't speak to therapists

    17. There seems to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you ever tried aversion therapy? Or the Church?
    i am happy

    18. Would you want your child to be a heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
    life is full of problems
     
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  3. Shattered
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    :rotflmao:
     
  4. Kagom
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    Kagom Senior Member

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    I found it humorous as well, but kinda does make you think just a little bit.
     
  5. Shattered
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    Nah.. It doesn't make me think any differently than I ever did - I just found it humorous.. But then, I have a higher tolerance level than some, and lower than others... :)
     
  6. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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    not really
     
  7. Semper Fi
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    Semper Fi VIP Member

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    THE HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE

    1. What do you think caused you heterosexuality?

    Natural instinct and God.

    2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?

    When I was little and was attracted to a girl in my class.

    3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you can grow out of?

    I know several 80 year old heterosexuals. No.

    4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

    No, a lot of my close friends are males.

    5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

    That question doesnt make sense. No, I would not want/need any gay lover.

    6. Do your parents know that you are straight? do your friends and/or roommates know? How did they react?

    Yes they all know. They are glad I'm not gay.

    7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

    I dont flaunt my heterosexuality. No I can't be who I am and be quiet, that would make me something other than who I am.

    8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

    Because its a natural symbol of love and lust between partners of the opposite sex. Not to mention necessary for reproduction.

    9. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

    I dont feel compelled. Just keep the gayness away from me.

    10. A disproportionate majority of child molestors are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers and babysitters?

    No, most cjild molestors are homosexual. And keeping heterosexuals from holding such jobs is a civil rights violation.

    11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly please each other being so anatomically different?

    The male inserts his erect penis into the woman's vagina. The skin and flesh of both areas are exremely sensitive, thus causing pleasure. Also couples have been known to lay in bed and talk, which is another form of nonsexual pleasure.

    12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

    Because there are more fish in the pond, so to speak. There are more options, more opportunities to cheat or leave your spouse for someone else. Not that its a good thing though.

    13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest incidence of STD's. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?

    Yes, with the proper precautions; condoms, abstinence, ect.

    14. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

    I am a compulsive, exclusive, heterosexual, and I am a whole person. Sticking my johnson's in another man's exit doesnt make me a whole person.

    15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

    Many ways. Limit of children per family, limit of children to couples with hereditary diseases, ect.

    16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective?Don't you feel they might be inclined to influence you in the direction of their own leanings?

    I would hope they would. Homosexuality is against my religion, and I'd hope everyone would do what they can to prevent me from making a mistake (becoming a homosexual)

    17. There seems to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you ever tried aversion therapy? Or the Church?

    I do attend church, and I, as a happy heterosexual, have never had therapy. However, unhappy people, homos and heteros alike, should do what they need to to become happy.

    18. Would you want your child to be a heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

    Yes. The "problems" of heterosexuality are far less severe than those of homosexuality.
     
  8. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    the next thing the teacher does is take all you answers inserts them into the same questions that refer to the gay lifestyle...then they tell you see it is normal.....

    amature hacks
     
  9. Semper Fi
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    Semper Fi VIP Member

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    I wish someone would do that to me, look at my answers, besides, the questions say YOU, as in ME, and I am a heterosexual, so my answers apply to ME not a GAY.
     
  10. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Done. 'Study' coming out tomorrow. Preview, you are sick. :thup:
     

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