Girlfriend's father died..

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Sallow, May 5, 2012.

  1. Sallow
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    Sallow The Big Bad Wolf. Supporting Member

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    On Thursday.

    I didn't really know him..when I met him for the first time, he had an operation to relieve pressure on the brain from water. The hospital basically screwed up..and it led to his decline into dementia, in my opinion, on a much more rapid pace. He was still somewhat functional and tried to appear "normal" when meeting new people. But he never remembered me on subsequent visits and as I watched him decline..it was sad. This has been on going for several years. Last weekend I saw him in the hospital. It was horrible. He had lost a great deal of weight and looked almost skeletal. He had a feeding tube in his nose and a catheter as well as all sorts of IVs. His face was writhing in agony and his hands had "mittens" on them to keep him from pulling out the tubes. He never liked hospitals or doctors. My girlfriend told me that he hated medical care so much that it was only after his apendix burst that he drove himself to the hospital. He kept himself incredibly fit through out his life by doing things like walking up and down the stairs over and over. This was before there was an exercise craze.

    The Doctor recommended that a feeding tube be run directly into his stomach. This would prevent him from having to come back to the hospital. My girlfriend was against it..and said so. When she consulted the doctor..he told her "Mercy killing is illegal in this state". Had I been in the room with them..that doctor would have gotten an knuckle sandwich. In any case..he was doing well after the release. On Thursday his appetite returned and he was even talking. Sometime during the afternoon he began coughing and the doctor was summoned. The Doctor wanted to put him back into the hospital. When my girlfriend's father heard that..his condition worsened. By the time the EMTs came..he was gone. I saw the body..and it was remarkable how peaceful he looked.
     
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  2. del
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    del BANNED

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    i'm sorry for your loss.
     
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  3. Sallow
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    Sallow The Big Bad Wolf. Supporting Member

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    Thanks.
     
  4. Truthmatters
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    Truthmatters BANNED

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    The death of a father is a tuff one,

    Glad you are there for her
     
  5. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    sometimes death is a huge relief....

    i am sorry for your loss...

    please just comfort your lady in her time of great loss
     
  6. Sallow
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    Sallow The Big Bad Wolf. Supporting Member

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    In this case, I think it was. He was 89..and his mind was almost completely gone. I do think in some cases there is a certain clarity before you die that happens. I saw it on my own father..and heard about it with a neighbor that passed some time ago. He got up..took one final walk around the neighborhood..then died shortly after returning home.

    In my girlfriend's father's case..I think it was a good way to go. At home..and with his wife by his side.
     
  7. Paulie
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    Paulie Platinum Member

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    My dad succumbed to cancer and I watched him wither away to literally a skeleton before he died. I was 14 at the time, and I had slept over my buddies house across the street like we usually did on some weekends. My dad died the next morning at home. He got up, managed to somehow walk outside and grab the paper, came back in and made himself a glass of chocolate milk, checked his lottery tickets, and then died on the kitchen floor in my mom's arms. She swears he chose that day to finally let it go because I wasn't home that morning and wouldn't have to witness it.
     
  8. del
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    del BANNED

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    my mom died of cancer 14 years to the day after my dad died of a massive heart attack.
    i truly believe she held on until that particular day.
     

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