Gal Talk vs Guy Talk

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Lumpy 1, Jun 4, 2012.

  1. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    I ran across this a while back and thought y'all might enjoy it...:dunno:

    --------------------------:D

    Women's English!

    Yes = No
    No = Yes
    Maybe = No
    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
    We need = I want
    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now....:wtf:
    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
    We need to talk = I need to complain
    Sure go ahead = I don't want you to ...
    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
    You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
    I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
    How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

    :beer:............&...........:popcorn:

    Men's English

    I'm hungry = I'm hungry
    I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
    I'm tired = I'm tired
    Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
    What's wrong? = What stupid self-inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
    What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question....:doubt:
    I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
    I love you = Let's have sex now
    I love you, too = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex
    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
    Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep then maybe sex?
    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with anybody else

    :cheers2:

    Men & Women Jokes
     
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    Last edited: Jun 4, 2012
  2. MuadDib
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    MuadDib He's called The Stig

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    Do these pants make my penis look big?
     
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  3. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    :lol:..nice addition thanks
     
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  4. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    eh.. try again
     
  5. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Sheesh already
     
  6. Lumpy 1
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    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    I like to take some credit but I'm just the messenger...

    .. and welcome to You....:beer:
     
  7. Ernie S.
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    Ernie S. Platinum Member

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    I'm nearly 63 and I don't understand a word they say.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. gxnelson
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    gxnelson SuperWhoLock

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    lol mostly correct imo.

    but these two should be reversed:
     

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