Funnies

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sandy73, Jul 8, 2004.

  1. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've
    got nothing to put in it. She said .. . . You wear
    pants don't you?


    He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
    ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

    He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
    grocery money I gave you? She said . . .Turn sideways
    and look in the mirror!

    On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows
    me everywhere" Written just below it . .. . " I do not"


    Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
    world does it take to do the dishes?
    A. Both of them.


    Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the
    future?
    A. He buys two cases of beer.


    Q. What is the difference between men and government
    bonds?
    A. The bonds mature.

    Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
    A. So men can remember them.


    Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of
    toilet paper?
    A. We don't know; it has never happened.


    Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
    caring and good-looking?
    A. They already have boyfriends.


    Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her
    husband is every night?
    A. A widow.


    Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
    A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
    and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in
    bed and go to the fridge.


    Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
    have in common?


    A. They're married.


    Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
    beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
    But God," the man says, "why did you make her so
    dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
     
  2. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    So God says to Adam, "I am going to make a partner for you called 'woman.' She will be the most beautiful creature on Earth. She will be smart, caring, and will understand you perfectly. She will be the perfect partner for you. You will even be able to enjoy an intimate activity called 'sex,' which will be delightful for both you and her."

    Adam says, "Sounds great!"

    God says, "But there's a catch. I'm going to need your right arm."

    So Adam replies, "Uh, what can I get for a rib?"
     
  3. Semper Fi
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    Semper Fi VIP Member

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    That was pretty good, Hobbit. Good response in this seemingly never ending battle between men and women.
     
  4. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    I don't see it as a battle. I see it as gentle poking between friends. Battles are won or lost, but I believe that men and women should recognize their differences, and that they compliment each other, and move on. The best way for men and women to get anywhere is together.
     

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