Speaker Dude, Vice President Liability, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans, first, hold your applause until the end, I find it annoying to be constantly interrupted by thunderous applause. I've come to tell you that the State of the Union is pretty fucked up, but you already know this. For far too long the Federal Government has grow and taken over responsibilities never intended under the Constitution, in fact, if the delegates in Philadelphia had a crystal ball and were able to see us today, there is not a single State that would have ratified the Constitution -- not one of them. We might not be able to give you a totally Constitutional government, at least not right away, it might take a few years, but here's what we will do right away: We need a vibrant, growing economy and in America, it is businesses large and small that are our biggest engine so first, we are cutting all taxes in half across the board and eliminating capital gain and estate taxes, I asked you not to applaud until the end; second, we are further lowering the cost of doing business across the board by lowering the cost of energy, so we are fast tracking any and all drilling for domestic oil and relaxing the crushing burden on the construction of nuclear power plants; third, see this? the Federal register, (throws it against the wall), now it's garbage, I asked you not to applaud. Next week we will eliminate the Deparments of Education, Energy, the Tennessee Valley Authority, I know, I was amazed it was still around, and Rural Electrification, yeah you're still paying for that too. Criminal Minds starts in 5 minutes so Good night, God bless and if you leave me alone, you wont hear from me again until next year God Bless the USA and God Bless you all! You're way smarter than I am (at least that what Jillian keeps telling me) and know what's best for you and your family and I'm going to get us out of your way.