domestic violence

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by actsnoblemartin, Apr 16, 2010.

  1. actsnoblemartin
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    actsnoblemartin I love Andrea & April

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOu_BszChIE&feature=related]YouTube - Domestic Violence- Women are Half the Problem[/ame]
     
  2. Amanda
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    Amanda Calm as a Hindu cow

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    In the most serious cases of violence men dominate. Women are much more likely to be murdered by an intimate partner, regardless of who started the fight. Among the persons killed by an intimate partner, about three quarters are female, and about a quarter are male: in 1999, in the US, 1,218 women and 424 men were killed by an intimate partner, regardless of which partner started the violence and of the gender of the partner. In the US, in 2005, 1181 females and 329 males were killed by their intimate partners.

    Domestic violence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
     
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  3. Loisal
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    Loisal Rookie

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    Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does - and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now. Whoever you are, this book can show you how and where to get help. In 1994, 1995, and again in 2000, Michigan changed the laws that deal with domestic violence to make it easier for the victims of abuse to get protection through the legal system.We have tried to include information to help you get support and plan for your safety. If this booklet applies to you, you just need to remember two things: first, abuse is never okay; second, you are not alone. Help is yours for the asking.
     
  4. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    If a man hits you get out.

    Just go, go anywhere but there.

    He is not going to change, and it will get worse.
     
  5. Dr Gregg
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    Dr Gregg BANNED

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    the guy is a total dickhead asshole for beating their spouse (well its mostly the guy beating the woman), but the woman is the one thae s attracted to the tough guy type, and also allows them to be hit or abused even once. One time of verbal or physical abuse,. they should be gone. I know its some sort of psychological problem, but its almost like drug addiction, you let it get to the point you are at now where you feel you can't get out.

    Never understood the mindset of a battered woman, probably never will.
     
  6. Dr Gregg
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    Dr Gregg BANNED

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    It's a little different these days than in the past where a woman can and usually does work and does not rely on the man, like in the past. So that excuse for many women shouldn't cut it
     
  7. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    I don't really know how I would react if I was a woman and a man beat me up in my home be it either a husband, boyfriend, live-in or whatever. I don't quite know exactly what I would do. I would like to think I could remain calm enough to saddle up beside this person and look him square in the eyes and say something like "If I was you, I would never go to sleep again in this house." Then I would get a softball bat out of the closet and just place it beside the bed without saying another word. In my mind, this would send a very clear and loud message...
     
  8. Truthmatters
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    Truthmatters BANNED

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    Look I dont know how old you are but your silly notions of society being evil is insane.

    Man is a pack animal and creating these types of relationships is as natural to man as breathing.

    You really need to go take some college courses on anthropology, Phycology, sociology and learn about how mans brain developed and why we Speak.

    You are likely some kid who is infatuated with anarchy and like minded ideas.

    Solve the problems in your own life that makes these ideas fasinating to you and then you will realise just how fucking stupid it is to tell people this line of bullshit and think they will be impressed.

    Grow the fuck up.

    And please dont come back here and complain about my fucking lauguage while talking about how society is bad MMMMKAY
     
  9. Wry Catcher
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    Wry Catcher Platinum Member

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    I have read many ignorant posts on this MB but most of the posts above exceed the worst of the RW trolls. DV is all about power and control. The offenders our unit dealt with were almost exclusively male (in terms of full disclosure, we were funded by VAWA [violence against women act] funds). The offenders ranged from unemployed drug addicts to well respected and wealthy members of the community. The acts committed ranged from a slap, to terrorist threats; vandalism, stalking, the killing of pets, threats against family and battery up to and including great bodily injury and mayhem.
    Victims don't leave for many reasons, many have been denied contact with family and friends and are isolated by the abuser, the threat by the abuser to kill family or friends, financial dependence, and of course if you leave me I'll kill you, us or myself.
     
  10. masquerade
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    masquerade positivity

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    Barriers to Leaving/Accessing Help

    Often people will wonder why a person in an abusive situation does not just leave or at least reach out for help. It is not as easy to do this as you might think.

    Fear of retaliation (often the offender will threaten the victim, telling them that more harm will come to them if they call the police, get a restraining order, have the offender arrested, ask the offender to leave the home, hold the offender accountable is some way). The offender may also threaten to harm someone that the victim cares for (i.e. their family, friends, etc.) This is why it is so important for friends, neighbors, relatives to reach out or intervene if possible. Sometimes the victim is too afraid to ask for help.

    Fear that no one will believe them – often the offender will convince the victim that no one will believe them if they are to talk about the abuse. Particularly if the victim has substance abuse or mental health issues, or if they have a criminal history themselves.

    The victim has no where else to go – because part of the pattern of abuse is to isolate the victim, many victims become distanced or separated from family, friends and other supports. They may feel that there is no one that they can turn to about the abuse. The victim may also have no money or other means of financial support if they leave. They may also rely on the offender for insurance/medical care. The fear that you know is often more bearable than the fear of the unknown.

    The victim does not know about available support services – many victims are not aware of the available supports in the community like local battered women’s programs, victim witness advocates, etc.)

    The victim is afraid to go to a shelter – going to a shelter can be a very frightening experience. Many people have lived in the same home for years, and the though of leaving is very frightening. It is also very difficult to leave all of your belongings behind and go to a place that is filled with strangers, where you may be sharing a room with other people.

    The abuser promises to get help/to change – many people forget that the victim almost always has a significant emotional connection to the abuser. The abuser is not a stranger - there is a strong bond with that person (and often a strong love) that makes it very difficult to simply end the relationship. This is why victims will often give their abusers multiple chances to change, because they hope that the relationship can get better and be good like it likely was at the beginning.

    Concern for what will happen to the abuser – many victims fear for their abuser if they call the police or get a stay away order. The abuser may have no where else to go, they may be on probation and could go to jail if the police are called again, there may be immigration issues and the abuser could be deported if the police are called. It can be very difficult for the victim call for help if they think that something like this could happen. Many abusers will make their victims feel so much guilt about this that the victim will not call for help, “if you get a restraining order, I will be homeless.”

    The victim and the abuser have children together – many women are terrified that they will not be able to raise their children alone and they do not want their children to grow up without a father. It is often difficult to understand that the impact of witnessing domestic violence on children can be extremely traumatic. Also, ongoing domestic violence is also linked with an increased risk of child abuse.

    The victim believes that the abuse is their own fault – many victims have been brainwashed by the abuser to believe that they abuse is their own fault – that their behavior or actions or words “caused” the offender to be violent.

    The stigma of disclosing domestic violence – many people are embarrassed to disclose that they are a victim of abuse. They feel that they should have been able to prevent the abuse or feel somehow that it is their fault.

    DO NOT FORGET – leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. It is the ultimate threat to the control that the offender has over the victim. Safety planning must be done very carefully when a victim is thinking about how to leave an abusive relationship.
     
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