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[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOu_BszChIE&feature=related]YouTube - Domestic Violence- Women are Half the Problem[/ame]
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It's a little different these days than in the past where a woman can and usually does work and does not rely on the man, like in the past. So that excuse for many women shouldn't cut itIf a man hits you get out.
Just go, go anywhere but there.
He is not going to change, and it will get worse.
It's a little different these days than in the past where a woman can and usually does work and does not rely on the man, like in the past. So that excuse for many women shouldn't cut itIf a man hits you get out.
Just go, go anywhere but there.
He is not going to change, and it will get worse.
Here is a basic overview of Truth :
Each man as an individual has every right to assault other human beings, including the female of the species. The family unit structure, marriage, the girlfriend/boyfriend delusion are all societal institutions designed to promote and sponsor violence.
At the same time, society launches campaigns designed to be near useless in order to simply keep up its illusions of decency that it is trying to stop the problem.
Women don't usually stay on such relationships because of money, they stay because they have a perverse societally induced need to pretend that they are "loved" by another human being.
The Truth is that "domestic violence" is a direct societal decree that it promotes violence within the family unit/marriage and boyfriend/girlfriend structures. That is WHY they invented such a term, instead of using the already available "assault" label.
Just as bullying is just an assault, so is domestic violence. The labels of bullying and domestic violence are created for the sole malevolent purpose of promoting these particular acts of violence.
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the guy is a total dickhead asshole for beating their spouse (well its mostly the guy beating the woman), but the woman is the one thae s attracted to the tough guy type, and also allows them to be hit or abused even once. One time of verbal or physical abuse,. they should be gone. I know its some sort of psychological problem, but its almost like drug addiction, you let it get to the point you are at now where you feel you can't get out.
Never understood the mindset of a battered woman, probably never will.
Barriers to Leaving/Accessing Help
Often people will wonder why a person in an abusive situation does not just leave or at least reach out for help. It is not as easy to do this as you might think.
Fear of retaliation (often the offender will threaten the victim, telling them that more harm will come to them if they call the police, get a restraining order, have the offender arrested, ask the offender to leave the home, hold the offender accountable is some way). The offender may also threaten to harm someone that the victim cares for (i.e. their family, friends, etc.) This is why it is so important for friends, neighbors, relatives to reach out or intervene if possible. Sometimes the victim is too afraid to ask for help.
Fear that no one will believe them often the offender will convince the victim that no one will believe them if they are to talk about the abuse. Particularly if the victim has substance abuse or mental health issues, or if they have a criminal history themselves.
The victim has no where else to go because part of the pattern of abuse is to isolate the victim, many victims become distanced or separated from family, friends and other supports. They may feel that there is no one that they can turn to about the abuse. The victim may also have no money or other means of financial support if they leave. They may also rely on the offender for insurance/medical care. The fear that you know is often more bearable than the fear of the unknown.
The victim does not know about available support services many victims are not aware of the available supports in the community like local battered womens programs, victim witness advocates, etc.)
The victim is afraid to go to a shelter going to a shelter can be a very frightening experience. Many people have lived in the same home for years, and the though of leaving is very frightening. It is also very difficult to leave all of your belongings behind and go to a place that is filled with strangers, where you may be sharing a room with other people.
The abuser promises to get help/to change many people forget that the victim almost always has a significant emotional connection to the abuser. The abuser is not a stranger - there is a strong bond with that person (and often a strong love) that makes it very difficult to simply end the relationship. This is why victims will often give their abusers multiple chances to change, because they hope that the relationship can get better and be good like it likely was at the beginning.
Concern for what will happen to the abuser many victims fear for their abuser if they call the police or get a stay away order. The abuser may have no where else to go, they may be on probation and could go to jail if the police are called again, there may be immigration issues and the abuser could be deported if the police are called. It can be very difficult for the victim call for help if they think that something like this could happen. Many abusers will make their victims feel so much guilt about this that the victim will not call for help, if you get a restraining order, I will be homeless.
The victim and the abuser have children together many women are terrified that they will not be able to raise their children alone and they do not want their children to grow up without a father. It is often difficult to understand that the impact of witnessing domestic violence on children can be extremely traumatic. Also, ongoing domestic violence is also linked with an increased risk of child abuse.
The victim believes that the abuse is their own fault many victims have been brainwashed by the abuser to believe that they abuse is their own fault that their behavior or actions or words caused the offender to be violent.
The stigma of disclosing domestic violence many people are embarrassed to disclose that they are a victim of abuse. They feel that they should have been able to prevent the abuse or feel somehow that it is their fault.
DO NOT FORGET leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. It is the ultimate threat to the control that the offender has over the victim. Safety planning must be done very carefully when a victim is thinking about how to leave an abusive relationship.
I don't really know how I would react if I was a woman and a man beat me up in my home be it either a husband, boyfriend, live-in or whatever. I don't quite know exactly what I would do. I would like to think I could remain calm enough to saddle up beside this person and look him square in the eyes and say something like "If I was you, I would never go to sleep again in this house." Then I would get a softball bat out of the closet and just place it beside the bed without saying another word. In my mind, this would send a very clear and loud message...