Cat's Diary

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Joz, Aug 8, 2004.

  1. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    Day 760 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape & the mild satisfaction I get from ruining a piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

    761 Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust & repulse these vile captors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair....must try this on the bed.

    762 Slept all day so I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

    765 Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of & try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed & condescended about what a good little cat I was....Hmmm..not working according to plan.

    768 I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however, it included a burning foamy chemical called 'shampoo'. Who could invent such a vile liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

    771 I am convinced the other captives are flunkies & may be snitches. The dog is routinely released & seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait...it's only a matter of time......
     

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