Bush's esteemed resume`

Discussion in 'Politics' started by spillmind, Nov 17, 2003.

  1. spillmind
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    spillmind Member

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    The Resume of George W. Bush (this one's especially for jimmah)


    The White House, USA


    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

    LAW ENFORCEMENT:


    I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for
    driving under the
    influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
    license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
    record has been "lost" and
    is not available.


    MILITARY:


    I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
    I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
    By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty
    in Vietnam.


    COLLEGE:


    I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:


    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career
    in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

    I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my
    father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

    I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

    I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

    I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

    I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

    I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

    I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

    I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

    I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

    I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

    I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

    All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

    All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

    PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
    and remember! the Lord forgives all sins, so vote christian! God Bless America!
     
  2. Sevendogs
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    Sevendogs Guest

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    :) It is hillarious and it is very well put together! Thank you very much for this educational post.
     
  3. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    You thought that was educational? Things are getting a bit clearer now. :)
     
  4. green lantern
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    i will agee, this is funny. this implies though that every other united states president or politician has been an angel, and i think we all know better. just look at william jefferson clinton. lets see, whitewater would be a good start, all those records dissapearing. kinda suspicious dont you think. furthermore, every politician, whether they be republican, democrat, independent, receives contributions from rich friends and companies, who hope that if he or she is elected, will receive a few benefits. sad but true, this is how the system works.
     
  5. janeeng
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    Great resume spilly, did you sit for days putting that crap together yourself??? what silly things you put together.

    I agree with green lantern, ALL have been guilty of some wrong doing, etc... and yeah, CLINTON for sure!
     
  6. lilcountriegal
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    lilcountriegal Senior Member

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    Like games Spilly? I got a game for ya. Its called:

    NAME THAT POLITICIAN

    Object of the game: guess who the politician is by just the quote. Ready.... have at it.

    "I experimented with marijuana a time or two. I didnt like it. I didnt inhale".

    "I did NOT have sex with that woman!"

    ""We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans . . . ."

    ""It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is"

    "You can't say you love your country and hate your government."

    "You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."

    Hint: All the statements are made by one person...



    C'mon Spilly. I'm sure you can come up with something better than this thread.

    Oh... wait. Forgot who I was talking to for a sec. :rolleyes:
     
  7. dijetlo
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    He's gone, lcg kicking him now is pointless. To point at Clinton and say "he was just as bad" is not an effective defence for the current president. He was a pig and I think Republicans miss him more than most Democrats, they certainly mention him more often.
     
  8. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    That sounds awfully familiar. Remember when a few constantly brought up christianity when defending Muslims? Now you know how ridiculous I thought that was (and I'm not saying it was you).
     
  9. ajwps
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    ajwps Active Member

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    Leading 2004 Democrat presidential frontrunner always consistent on his gun control opionions.

    http://www.gunlawsuits.org/features/press/release.asp?Record=518

    "I would oppose restrictions on semiautomatic firearms."


    Howard Dean's checked answer to the NRA, 1992


    "I support the assault weapons ban, I support reauthorization of the assault weapons ban."

    Howard Dean, 2003


    Washington DC - Governor Howard Dean has been struggling with his positions on gun laws that save the lives of children and police officers. His two principal struggles over the years - on banning assault weapons and passing federal rather than state gun laws - are far less complex than the former Governor thinks.


    Assault weapons. Governor Dean didn't need to struggle over proposals to ban assault weapons in 1992 - even as a statewide candidate in Vermont. Consider reasonably successful Arizona politician Barry Goldwater, who unabashedly supported banning these weapons in 1989. "I've been a member of the NRA, I collect, make and shoot guns. I've never used an automatic or semiautomatic for hunting. There's no need to. They have no place in anyone's arsenal. If any SOB can't hit a deer with one shot, then he ought to quit shooting." [Conconi, Washington Post, 4-4-89].


    Leaving Gun Laws to the States. Today's New York Times reiterates Dean's belief that gun laws should be on the books at the state level, rather than the federal level. [Nagourney, Wilgoren, New York Times, 10-31-03].


    That policy costs lives. States like Vermont, with loose gun laws, become marketplaces for traffickers who purchase guns there and sell them to criminals in neighboring states. That's the status quo that is supported by the NRA, an organization that markets a blacklist to its members listing anyone who disagrees with them. (See www.nrablacklist.com.)


    Vermont dealers have sold many guns which were later traced to crimes elsewhere. In the most recently released federal data, for example, Century Arms of Georgia, Vermont had sold 66 guns traced to crimes -including two homicides - over a seven-year period. [Trace data, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, 1988-1996]. Many states have far more serious records of supplying guns to the criminal marketplace, but Vermont has done its share. If Governor Dean wants to be President, he needs policies on federal laws to protect police and children. Vermont has low homicide rates. But America has a high homicide rate, and it leads the world by miles in firearm fatalities.


    As Governor, Dean's gun policies kept Vermont gun extremists happy. But those policies put lives at risk in Boston, Buffalo, Hartford, New York and other neighboring cities.
     
  10. jon_forward
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    jon_forward Active Member

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    We could look back on history and if you dig deep enough find dirt on just about, if not all of our presidents. All of our past leaders have had to face there own set of unique problems that they had to deal with. some have done a better job than others but the only way we know this is looking back after many years, not daily! While I find the first post interesting,I also note that everything listed is on the negative side. Isnt this just a little misleading? It implys that he has done NOTHING but use the system to his advantage. You also imply that 9/11 was some how the current presidents fault.And theres the 'QUOTE' about having millionaires and Im proud about it. when was this said? I could sit here a blow holes in the post till my fingers bled but wont out of respect for your opinion. I just would like for everything , the good and the bad, to be stated . And truthfully.
     

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