1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. 2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. 3. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. 4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. 5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. 6. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. 7. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage. 8. When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways. 9. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.