- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a commerce-gothic fan-fic (my final one!) about Batgirl (DC Comics' valiant underling to the urban masked vigilante Batman) and Jason Voorhees (iconic American hockey-mask wearing killer from Friday the 13th horror-film franchise).
Signing off,
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Batgirl (Barbara Gordon) was an engaged young American woman and passionate urban masked-vigilante and the daughter or Gotham City Police Department (GCPD) commissioner James/Jim Gordon who was a close and trusted friend of the original American masked urban vigilante Batman. Batgirl wanted to rid the city of the blight of any serial killers and criminally-insane terrorists who specifically targeted women. Batgirl contended with Ra's al Ghul (an eco-terrorist who seduced his daughter to the 'dark-side' of politics) and Jason Voorhees (a hockey-mask wearing machete-wielding psycho who split female GCPD cops in half!).
Batgirl incarcerated Ra's and then set her sights on Jason. Meanwhile, Batman (Bruce Wayne) was on vacation in the Virgin Islands with his new girlfriend Selina Kyle (an employee of Wayne Industries and secretly the urban masked vigilante Catwoman). With Batman and Catwoman far away, Batgirl was left to her own devices to deal with the maniacally-terrifying Jason. Jason was busy using his machete to create violent anarchy in a Gotham City merchant's fair two nights before Halloween Eve 2017. Batgirl showed up and subjugated Jason with her electric stun-gun and then tangled him up in her super-strong nylon-net. Jason was carried to Arkham Asylum (Gotham's incarceration center for the criminally-insane) where he could be interviewed by Batgirl in front of news cameras.
BATGIRL: Why do you wield a machete?
JASON: I believe the vulnerable should be destroyed...
BATGIRL: Do you think that a machete is symbolic?
JASON: It's cold and efficient; enough said!
BATGIRL: Are you angry at humanity?
JASON: I despise modern culture.
BATGIRL: What do you specifically hate --- Facebook, Wall Street, Marvel Comics?
JASON: I dislike Planet Starbucks and Wal-Mart.
BATGIRL: What about The Home Depot (hardware-chain)? They sell reliance-tools.
JASON: Do Americans really care (maturely) about self-reliance?
BATGIRL: Convenience-consumerism culture (e.g., eBay) may be 'lax' but it's also ideal.
JASON: What's so ideal about Amazon.com and Burger King?
BATGIRL: Terrorism is not the answer to traffic claustrophobia...
JASON: You believe that Black Friday is the answer?
BATGIRL: Commemorations for friendly-shopping are at least sane!
JASON: We'll see if this 'asylum' cures me of Marxist alienation.
====
Signing off,
====
Batgirl (Barbara Gordon) was an engaged young American woman and passionate urban masked-vigilante and the daughter or Gotham City Police Department (GCPD) commissioner James/Jim Gordon who was a close and trusted friend of the original American masked urban vigilante Batman. Batgirl wanted to rid the city of the blight of any serial killers and criminally-insane terrorists who specifically targeted women. Batgirl contended with Ra's al Ghul (an eco-terrorist who seduced his daughter to the 'dark-side' of politics) and Jason Voorhees (a hockey-mask wearing machete-wielding psycho who split female GCPD cops in half!).
Batgirl incarcerated Ra's and then set her sights on Jason. Meanwhile, Batman (Bruce Wayne) was on vacation in the Virgin Islands with his new girlfriend Selina Kyle (an employee of Wayne Industries and secretly the urban masked vigilante Catwoman). With Batman and Catwoman far away, Batgirl was left to her own devices to deal with the maniacally-terrifying Jason. Jason was busy using his machete to create violent anarchy in a Gotham City merchant's fair two nights before Halloween Eve 2017. Batgirl showed up and subjugated Jason with her electric stun-gun and then tangled him up in her super-strong nylon-net. Jason was carried to Arkham Asylum (Gotham's incarceration center for the criminally-insane) where he could be interviewed by Batgirl in front of news cameras.
BATGIRL: Why do you wield a machete?
JASON: I believe the vulnerable should be destroyed...
BATGIRL: Do you think that a machete is symbolic?
JASON: It's cold and efficient; enough said!
BATGIRL: Are you angry at humanity?
JASON: I despise modern culture.
BATGIRL: What do you specifically hate --- Facebook, Wall Street, Marvel Comics?
JASON: I dislike Planet Starbucks and Wal-Mart.
BATGIRL: What about The Home Depot (hardware-chain)? They sell reliance-tools.
JASON: Do Americans really care (maturely) about self-reliance?
BATGIRL: Convenience-consumerism culture (e.g., eBay) may be 'lax' but it's also ideal.
JASON: What's so ideal about Amazon.com and Burger King?
BATGIRL: Terrorism is not the answer to traffic claustrophobia...
JASON: You believe that Black Friday is the answer?
BATGIRL: Commemorations for friendly-shopping are at least sane!
JASON: We'll see if this 'asylum' cures me of Marxist alienation.
====
