An Unscientific Poll

[dijetlo]

Onion Poll


Violence against American troops in Iraq surged last week, with attacks killing dozens. What do you think?

Geraldine Bates
Telemarketer
"All I know is, if the Iraqis had invaded our country, we'd be acting a lot nicer to them than they are to us."




Molly Chandler
Dental Hygienist
"My cousin is in the Army, and he said that the Iraqis want us there. So I can't really figure out why they shot him."



Arthur Serra
Pharmacist
"I wish the media were more conservative, so we wouldn't have to hear about these things."



Nicholas Hoyt
CFO
"In concentrating on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, we forgot about their weapons of one teeny little bit of destruction at a time."



Brian Purdey
Student
"Why would the Iraqis bomb their own country? That's like shitting in your kitchen sink—good for emergencies, but not a great idea overall."


Frank Demoss
Systems Analyst
"The G.I. deaths are tragic and alarming, but the fact that even more Iraqis are dying should provide some consolation."

 

[SLClemens]

Thank God for some paper willing to engage in serious satire. I listened to an interview with the editors about what they decided to include and not to include in their post-9/11 edition. You should have heard some of the ideas that didn't make it.

 

[SLClemens]

Originally posted by dijetlo
Onion Poll

Frank Demoss
Systems Analyst
"The G.I. deaths are tragic and alarming, but the fact that even more Iraqis are dying should provide some consolation."

Sound like someone we know?

 

[NightTrain]

the fact that even more Iraqis are dying should provide some consolation."

I'd like to buy Frank a beer.

 

[Bry]

jejeje. All praise for the Onion.

My english students enjoy it too, it's their favorite segment of english lessons.

 

[jimnyc]

Originally posted by dijetlo
Molly Chandler
Dental Hygienist
"My cousin is in the Army, and he said that the Iraqis want us there. So I can't really figure out why they shot him."

Wow, and you guys thought I was dense?

 

[dijetlo]

Originally posted by jimnyc


Wow, and you guys thought I was dense?

Naw Jimmy, not dense. Just misguided