An Unscientific Poll

Discussion in 'Middle East - General' started by dijetlo, Nov 10, 2003.

  1. dijetlo
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    dijetlo Guest

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    Onion Poll


    Violence against American troops in Iraq surged last week, with attacks killing dozens. What do you think?

    Geraldine Bates
    Telemarketer
    "All I know is, if the Iraqis had invaded our country, we'd be acting a lot nicer to them than they are to us."




    Molly Chandler
    Dental Hygienist
    "My cousin is in the Army, and he said that the Iraqis want us there. So I can't really figure out why they shot him."



    Arthur Serra
    Pharmacist
    "I wish the media were more conservative, so we wouldn't have to hear about these things."



    Nicholas Hoyt
    CFO
    "In concentrating on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, we forgot about their weapons of one teeny little bit of destruction at a time."



    Brian Purdey
    Student
    "Why would the Iraqis bomb their own country? That's like shitting in your kitchen sink—good for emergencies, but not a great idea overall."


    Frank Demoss
    Systems Analyst
    "The G.I. deaths are tragic and alarming, but the fact that even more Iraqis are dying should provide some consolation."
     
  2. SLClemens
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    SLClemens Guest

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    Thank God for some paper willing to engage in serious satire. I listened to an interview with the editors about what they decided to include and not to include in their post-9/11 edition. You should have heard some of the ideas that didn't make it.
     
  3. SLClemens
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    SLClemens Guest

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    Sound like someone we know?
     
  4. NightTrain
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    NightTrain VIP Member

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    I'd like to buy Frank a beer. :beer:
     
  5. Bry
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    Bry Member

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    jejeje. All praise for the Onion.

    My english students enjoy it too, it's their favorite segment of english lessons.
     
  6. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    :laugh:

    Wow, and you guys thought I was dense?
     
  7. dijetlo
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    dijetlo Guest

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    Naw Jimmy, not dense. Just misguided :laugh:
     

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