alone or lonely????

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by strollingbones, Dec 5, 2008.

  1. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    i spend a lot of time alone even when i am with people... i am an "only child" use to a great deal of silence...now here is my question....i am alone a great deal even now....when my son (also an only child) moved out i was was terrified of the loneliness....well guess what...i was simply alone again...i am very comfie in my own skin and find that being alone is not as bad as i feared...do you find a difference between being alone and being lonely? i do.

    time spend alone to me is time i pass with myself and with my thoughts....i can read or watch tv or simply watch the birds at the feeder....i have pets who i care for, 2 dogs and 2 cats....i do have friends but they are not the type of friends one must be social with.... we prefer to phone one another but if there is a crisis...or problem these are people i can count on...at both my jobs i am left pretty much alone or i simply read on one job and have the net at the other.... i do have people around but they are more the people i watch if that makes sense. i have no cell phone....i can text but get made fun of for doing it...seems i have "no style" in texting...

    do i get lonely? yes. when i get lonely its to the depth of my soul...it is almost like a bottomless pit of despair (i cant think of a better word) it just seems suddenly there will be nothing but loneliness...then it breaks...sometimes it breaks with a sunrise or simply the smile of a co worker who stops to tell me some stupid joke or the lastest bit of gossip...or a customer does something sillie and makes me laugh...and makes me remember we are all but humans..who each have their own demons and despair...do you get lonely? are you alone a lot?

    another question..yes at 4 am i am just a random muser...what kind of person are you?

    do you go out in the day with a chip on your shoulder? do you berate the poor clerk at the local whatever who has to put up with your mouth? are you one of those who when they go out...are demanding or do you go with the flow? what kind of shopper are you really? are you nice to the people around you...the people waiting on you? i am in customer service and see it all...i just wonder if people think about their image...their inner image and their outer image.

    you dont have to answer this...i would appreciate some imput but do think about it when you go out into this day...are you alone or alonely...when you go out into the world do you add to the beauty or the misery of it?

    here is something i love to watch, o and its a family think...even the wee ones can watch it:

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW-3KwXpkkM]YouTube - Amazing Hand Shadow show by Raymond Crowe[/ame]
     
  2. Diuretic
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    Diuretic Permanently confused

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    I've always been a loner, not a sociopathic lunatic type of loner nutter but someone who doesn't need to have attention or association to be okay with himself. I can be alone but not feel lonely. I'm not having a shot at those who absolutely need lots of other people around - we do what we think is best for us.

    Interacting with service people. As I read somewhere on the net where a writer was explaining about acceptable behaviour in a restaurant - it was something like, "you own the transaction, you don't own the restaurant". That was a good point. Whenever I'm asking for a service I'm pretty laid back (in my job I've dealt with many, many complete arseholes over the years, I refuse to morph into one and give someone a hard time because I think the service isn't up to scratch) but I will speak up if I feel I am being treated less than how I would treat someone else if I were on the other side of the transaction.

    I sort of think that someone on that side of the transaction might just be having a really shitty day and I'm just another potential arsehole who can contribute to the shittiness of their day. If I sense that I try to cheer them up a bit with a smile and a word, maybe even (if I'm quick enough) a bit of wit. More often than not though it will fall flat and I'm scuttling out of there and thinking the service person is looking at me and :cuckoo: :lol:
     
  3. CSM
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    CSM Senior Member

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    You make a good point. There is a huge difference between loneliness and solitude. I cherish solitude!
     
  4. RetiredGySgt
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    RetiredGySgt Platinum Member

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    I am lonely. But I do not do well in groups. I would love to find one person that I could spend time with when I need to, that would understand that and accept it. Someone that could be happy when I am busy playing the computer or reading a book, and happy when I need to just be with someone.

    My wife and I are friends but not very close, my illness ruined what was there. We have been married 25 years though and get along ok. We each know we owe the other a lot of things. But we don't really talk or spend time together.
     
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  5. Diuretic
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    Diuretic Permanently confused

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    Partial reflection and not a fully considered response. Sometimes just being very good friends is really good and really valuable. And the longer the relatiionshlp the more, I think, that pertains. Please don't call me Captain Obvious, this bit isn't all that easy.
     
  6. Lycurgus
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    Lycurgus Who is Obama, really...??

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    Well our life has always been very busy with a great deal of family around. My wife and I are best friends, as well as a couple and there has always been kids flying in and out of the house. At work it is more of the same, myself, my wife, my dad, both of my in-laws and of course the kids have worked there off and on.

    So, I am never alone, but, I am more of a one man person in the sense that my social life is my family. I have a few buddies who I can count on and they can count on me, but, most of my time is spent with the family. And when family isn't around, the dog is and he too is just as much family. So, I am never lonely, but, I am more of a loner.

    We have two daughters who are in their mid 20's and a son who is 11. So he keeps me jumping. I enjoy the down time when it comes and I enjoy being alone to surf the net, read or watch TV.
     
  7. PoliticalChic
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    PoliticalChic Diamond Member

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    I'm not much a people person. There aren't a whole lot of people who have the same interests as me. My loneliness ended when I met my husband. We spend lots of time together (sometimes too much) and we are each other's best friend. I get together with friends now and then and that's plenty for me.
     
  8. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    I suspect this is a board filled with lonely and somewhat isolated people, isn't it?

    In my case, I think I prefer to interact with people in ASCII.

    Perhaps that has to do with the conversations that happen here.

    Small talk is painfully boring, and that's what most people have to offer

    In real life, when I start talking about politics and such, I can appear pretty frightening or at least arrogant.

    I can be quite aggressive intellectually and am articulate enough to dominate discussions in RL.

    I don't mean to do that, but it happens.

    Even I understand why that's sucks for others who get caught in my enthusiasms for the subjects that interest me.

    I lecture people.

    Here, thanks to the ability ponder my responses, and edit them, I can mitigate my enthusiasms somewhat.

    And if you folks get bored or annoyed with my pedantry you can always just skip my posts.

    Thanks for being here for me, folks.
     
  9. Amanda
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    Amanda Calm as a Hindu cow

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    Wow, you people are weird. j/k :tongue:

    I'm not lonely or alone.

    I moved away from home to see if I could find a life that was just mine. Family overshadowed everything growing up. I hooked up with a church here before I moved so I had a built in support system. They helped me get a lot things lined up and they sort of watch over me. They probably report back to my family too, LOL.

    I wake up every morning happy. I notice all the little differences between a winter day in the country and the city. I see so much beauty and just stare in wonder at it all. I don't want to talk about my belief in God in every post but it's become so much a part of my life and it means so much to me. I can't imagine being alone or lonely anymore. Like anyone I have moments of disappointment or sadness but soon I remember God's love and I'm happy again. Because no matter what happens I know God is there for me.

    So with that in mind...
    No way. I don't think I ever really have, but not now for sure.

    LOL, no I am the clerk. Actually I'm a CSR but it's the same thing, people call and yell at me all day, but I charm them with my sweetness.

    The flow.

    I'm pretty undemanding and I alway say thank you no matter if they manage to help me or not because they took the time to try (yes, I know they are being paid either way).

    I don't really reflect on it that much. I'm usually surprised when people offer their opinions to me. Usually people praise me for being nice. Sometimes they admonish me for being dumb or slow... like I'm supposed to go Oh damn ok I'll just be smarter. LOL. But it doesn't really bother me when people do that, I try to be understanding because when people act angry or mean it's because they are hurting inside.
     
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  10. Red Dawn
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    Red Dawn Senior Member

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    Wow, that was intense. I suck at self-analysis, Bones.

    But, I'd have to say I'm somewhere between an extrovert and an introvert. I don't particularly like large groups of people, I don't like to go places where people are drinking and partying. But, I do like the quiet dignity of kayaking on a river with a small group of friends, or enjoying a sunset on the ocean with someone else. I never really feel alone, even when I'm by myself. I'm pretty comfortable with who I am, what I like, the career I have, and my other interests in life.

    As for being uptight and yelling at store clerks...LOL. What kind of idiot does that? I'd have to say that I'm a type B personality in that respect. I enjoy life, I live in a beautiful and tranquil place, I never go to work angry or uptight. If I ever get angry about something it only lasts for about 5 minutes. (Except when some NeoCon tells me what a great idea the Iraq war was, then I feel like strangling them - ha! just kidding). I'm just fortunate for the life I have, I'm more fortunate than 99% of the people on the planet, and I try to never forget that.

    Who the hell yells at store clerks anyway?? :lol:
     

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