January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Duh.....bottles won't fit in the typewriter!!!" March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said 2-4 years! April - The power went out while I was shopping, and I was trapped on the escalator for hours!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid, but 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June - Tried to go water skiing but couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Later learned that other swimmers cheated, They used their arms. August - Got locked out of my car in a rainstorm. Car got swamped because the top was down. September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4-1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108. December - Couldn't call 911. There's no "11" button on my phone. What a year!!