Zone1 'You're Gonna Be A Perpetual WHAT?' Joseph Asks Mary On Wedding Night

[Votto]

'You're Gonna Be A Perpetual WHAT?' Joseph Asks Mary On Wedding Night
Theology·Aug 12, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

NAZARETH — Recently unveiled manuscripts which seem to be a commentary on the Gospel of Luke revealed that Joseph the carpenter was in for a huge shock on the night of his wedding to a hometown girl named Mary.

According to the commentary, written in Koine Greek, the relationship between the two had been "a little odd" after Mary turned out to be pregnant with the Son of God before her marriage to Joseph. The oddness hit a new high, however, after Mary informed her new husband of her call to perpetual virginity on their wedding night.

"Wait…hold on a second!" Joseph exclaimed, according to the extra-biblical account of the couple's wedding night. "You're going to be a perpetual WHAT again? But what about…er, you know…our nuptial night? Mary? Talk to me here — maybe you could chat with Gabriel and see if this whole perpetual virginity thing is 100% necessary?"

While the portion of the commentary that records Mary's answer seems to have been lost, scholars agree that the text recording Joseph's reaction was preserved properly.

"You've got to feel for the guy," said Marcus LeBlanc, a papyrologist specializing in Koine manuscripts. "The shock and surprise that he must have felt comes through very, very clearly in the grammar of the texts…poor man must have felt pretty let down after that response."

At publishing time, scholars had confirmed that after the conversation with Mary, Joseph went out and wept bitterly.

 

[Crepitus]

Izzat another attempt at humor?

 

[Moonglow]

'You're Gonna Be A Perpetual WHAT?' Joseph Asks Mary On Wedding Night
Theology·Aug 12, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

View attachment 1056403

NAZARETH — Recently unveiled manuscripts which seem to be a commentary on the Gospel of Luke revealed that Joseph the carpenter was in for a huge shock on the night of his wedding to a hometown girl named Mary.

According to the commentary, written in Koine Greek, the relationship between the two had been "a little odd" after Mary turned out to be pregnant with the Son of God before her marriage to Joseph. The oddness hit a new high, however, after Mary informed her new husband of her call to perpetual virginity on their wedding night.

"Wait…hold on a second!" Joseph exclaimed, according to the extra-biblical account of the couple's wedding night. "You're going to be a perpetual WHAT again? But what about…er, you know…our nuptial night? Mary? Talk to me here — maybe you could chat with Gabriel and see if this whole perpetual virginity thing is 100% necessary?"

While the portion of the commentary that records Mary's answer seems to have been lost, scholars agree that the text recording Joseph's reaction was preserved properly.

"You've got to feel for the guy," said Marcus LeBlanc, a papyrologist specializing in Koine manuscripts. "The shock and surprise that he must have felt comes through very, very clearly in the grammar of the texts…poor man must have felt pretty let down after that response."

At publishing time, scholars had confirmed that after the conversation with Mary, Joseph went out and wept bitterly.

Cuckold is what Joeseph had in his future with Mary.

 

[Cougarbear]

'You're Gonna Be A Perpetual WHAT?' Joseph Asks Mary On Wedding Night
Theology·Aug 12, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

View attachment 1056403

NAZARETH — Recently unveiled manuscripts which seem to be a commentary on the Gospel of Luke revealed that Joseph the carpenter was in for a huge shock on the night of his wedding to a hometown girl named Mary.

According to the commentary, written in Koine Greek, the relationship between the two had been "a little odd" after Mary turned out to be pregnant with the Son of God before her marriage to Joseph. The oddness hit a new high, however, after Mary informed her new husband of her call to perpetual virginity on their wedding night.

"Wait…hold on a second!" Joseph exclaimed, according to the extra-biblical account of the couple's wedding night. "You're going to be a perpetual WHAT again? But what about…er, you know…our nuptial night? Mary? Talk to me here — maybe you could chat with Gabriel and see if this whole perpetual virginity thing is 100% necessary?"

While the portion of the commentary that records Mary's answer seems to have been lost, scholars agree that the text recording Joseph's reaction was preserved properly.

"You've got to feel for the guy," said Marcus LeBlanc, a papyrologist specializing in Koine manuscripts. "The shock and surprise that he must have felt comes through very, very clearly in the grammar of the texts…poor man must have felt pretty let down after that response."

At publishing time, scholars had confirmed that after the conversation with Mary, Joseph went out and wept bitterly.

Baloney!!!
Mark 6:3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him.
Therefore, Joseph and Mary had at least 4 brothers and sisters as well. Were all of them born of a virgin? No, only the Son of God was, Jesus Christ. The apacrapha writings and other nonsense is just that, nonsense.

 

[luiza]

Great .
Makes Jesus illegitimate
His Dad a wimp .
And Mary was either a rape victim or slag .

Nothing unusual there

 

[Cougarbear]

Great .
Makes Jesus illegitimate
His Dad a wimp .
And Mary was either a rape victim or slag .

Nothing unusual there

Rape? She had the choice to have Father in Heaven’s seed placed in her egg. She chose freely and therefore that eliminates rape. In vitro fertilization performed by the Holy Ghost. Why would this make Jesus illegitimate? There was no sexual relationship. Jesus is the Father’s legitimate son.
Mary married Joseph and they had sons and daughters. It’s a good reason why Jesus was able to wander off and go to teach at the temple when he was 12. Joseph and Mary were distracted with the other kids. Today, we would give honor to Joseph for taking on the responsibility for a single mother and being a step father to her first born.
Only a sad worn out bitch full of hate would try to disparage the Christmas story. Joy to the world for the lord was born to a righteous Virgin Mary.

 

[Sayaras]

Hitler's

Mullah

Luiza

Trolls

 

[luiza]

Rape? She had the choice to have Father in Heaven’s seed placed in her egg. She chose freely and therefore that eliminates rape. In vitro fertilization performed by the Holy Ghost. Why would this make Jesus illegitimate? There was no sexual relationship. Jesus is the Father’s legitimate son.
Mary married Joseph and they had sons and daughters. It’s a good reason why Jesus was able to wander off and go to teach at the temple when he was 12. Joseph and Mary were distracted with the other kids. Today, we would give honor to Joseph for taking on the responsibility for a single mother and being a step father to her first born.
Only a sad worn out bitch full of hate would try to disparage the Christmas story. Joy to the world for the lord was born to a righteous Virgin Mary.

Most illuminating to be able to study the words of a Cultist -- somebody so mind controlled that they cannot see that Jesus the Essene monk was an illegitimate bastard .
I think it is endearing that you try to elevate Mary's sexual unfaithfulness to something understandable , albeit involving a big dollop of invention .
Actually your best option is to argue that she got herself involved in the equivalent of Date Rape. That might partially reduce her responsibility for the messy outcome.

Mary was just a local lass who probably wanted to improve her status and prospects . She had a fling and was very lucky that her husband was such a wimp that he accepted her appalling behaviour .

And the naughty Mary did not then marry Joseph to try and hide her sin because she was already married .
Or are you going to contend that the elder brother James resulted from her union with yet another man whom she was divorced from ?
That would be Good Going indeed from the celebrated town "Virgin" .

You Cultists are so muddled that your confusions at least make us smile .
Patronising perhaps . But it is like hearing murder suspects desperately trying to create alibis for a hopeless cause.

 

[SweetSue92]

Most illuminating to be able to study the words of a Cultist -- somebody so mind controlled that they cannot see that Jesus the Essene monk was an illegitimate bastard .
I think it is endearing that you try to elevate Mary's sexual unfaithfulness to something understandable , albeit involving a big dollop of invention .
Actually your best option is to argue that she got herself involved in the equivalent of Date Rape. That might partially reduce her responsibility for the messy outcome.

Mary was just a local lass who probably wanted to improve her status and prospects . She had a fling and was very lucky that her husband was such a wimp that he accepted her appalling behaviour .

And the naughty Mary did not then marry Joseph to try and hide her sin because she was already married .
Or are you going to contend that the elder brother James resulted from her union with yet another man whom she was divorced from ?
That would be Good Going indeed from the celebrated town "Virgin" .

You Cultists are so muddled that your confusions at least make us smile .
Patronising perhaps . But it is like hearing murder suspects desperately trying to create alibis for a hopeless cause.

If you intend these words to be shocking, they're not. Not to any Christian that's been around. What I do think though, is: has God already given you over? Are you hedging your bets, thinking hey--if there IS a God, certainly He will be merciful to me because I gave to charity/didn't kill anyone/etc?

Because it doesn't work that way.

God will let your run your blasphemous mouth as long as you want, but like us, He doesn't have to extend His mercy forever. At some point, after you have so hardened your heart, He will harden His--against you.

"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."--Hebrews 10:31

...and a very high price to pay for your strokes of self-congratulations.

 

[Cougarbear]

Most illuminating to be able to study the words of a Cultist -- somebody so mind controlled that they cannot see that Jesus the Essene monk was an illegitimate bastard .
I think it is endearing that you try to elevate Mary's sexual unfaithfulness to something understandable , albeit involving a big dollop of invention .
Actually your best option is to argue that she got herself involved in the equivalent of Date Rape. That might partially reduce her responsibility for the messy outcome.

Mary was just a local lass who probably wanted to improve her status and prospects . She had a fling and was very lucky that her husband was such a wimp that he accepted her appalling behaviour .

And the naughty Mary did not then marry Joseph to try and hide her sin because she was already married .
Or are you going to contend that the elder brother James resulted from her union with yet another man whom she was divorced from ?
That would be Good Going indeed from the celebrated town "Virgin" .

You Cultists are so muddled that your confusions at least make us smile .
Patronising perhaps . But it is like hearing murder suspects desperately trying to create alibis for a hopeless cause.

You anti-Christians are the members of a real cult. Many are ofnthe occult. Which Im sure that is you. However, I won’t lower myself to your evil sickness.