Why It's Better To Be A Woman!

Phoenix

fideli certa merces
Apr 10, 2009
13,040
2,701
48
out of the ashes
1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. ;)
 
1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. ;)
AS 5 it worked when I was younger but having a red car I still got many tickets, of course I got pulled over say 12 times but only recieved 6 tickets.
13 would be shoes for me
and 5 well you never played basketball with this girl named Kirsten, she obviously didn't get the memo we didn't have to slap butts.
and 28 I agree 100%, I am not too superficial but if a guy is wearing sandals with black socks or some nasty ass pair of shoes, I will for sure turn my attention else where.
 
and as for the farting thing, I have been amused by my farts before. Of course I was very stoned and was laughing so hard I farted in a large group which caused more laughing.
 
If women had a penis for a day

Get ahead faster in corporate life.

Get a blow job.

Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

Repeat the second one again.
 
your welcome!
Not that I fart in public or around other people on a regular basis I just hate it that some men think women should never fart. I lived with two guys and one of them would get wierded out when his girlfriend would fart or god forbid have to take a poop when she was staying over.
Living with him just say was very uncomfortable at points.
 
If women had a penis for a day

Get ahead faster in corporate life.

Get a blow job.

Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

Repeat the second one again.
going to the bathroom in the woods is one time it sucks to be a women especially when you have had a few.
 
If women had a penis for a day

Get ahead faster in corporate life.

Get a blow job.

Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

Repeat the second one again.

$Swaping_Parts.jpg :cool:
 
40 Rules Men Wished Women Knew

1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your fat arse in a gym.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put the fucker down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present.......again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Anyone can buy condoms.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats.
10. Sunday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is a twat and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, that would look good with your dress?
21. Yes, No and Mmm are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Now.
23. Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car.
26. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
29. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
30. The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all gay. Face it.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
34. Consider Sport a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
35. Women wearing Wonderbras, low-cut blouses, tight tops, no jackets, chest level logo'd t-shirts etc. etc. lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.
37. If you want some dessert after a meal - order some. You don't have to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don't say "No, I couldn't/shouldn't/don't want any" and then eat half of mine.
38. Dieting doesn't work without exercise.
39. If you're on a diet it doesn't mean my meals should be rabbit-food nouvelle-cuisine style. A man's four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat, cold beer and more cold beer. Please ensure all meals contain a good balance of the above in good quantities - everything else falls under the category 'garnish'.
40. Do not question our sense of direction.
 
my problem with men is I expect them as to be as good with directions as my dad is. My dad's nickname is Don Star because you can be most anywhere in the country and he will be able to give you directions and because of this I am very good at finding my way around. I have spent many times getting myself and a boyfriend un lost because I listened to him when he said he knew where he was going.
 
and also men like us to think we are the only ones who crave attention all the time.
I had to hide my pot use from an ex because he couldn't handle the fact I would zone out and not listen to his stupid ramblings while I was stoned.
 
and also men like us to think we are the only ones who crave attention all the time.
I had to hide my pot use from an ex because he couldn't handle the fact I would zone out and not listen to his stupid ramblings while I was stoned.

At least you were stoned. :doubt:
 
and also men like us to think we are the only ones who crave attention all the time.
I had to hide my pot use from an ex because he couldn't handle the fact I would zone out and not listen to his stupid ramblings while I was stoned.

At least you were stoned. :doubt:

yeah! just say eating taco's with bread, ranch, and hasbrowns never works out real well in the end.:lol:
 
1. We got off the Titanic first. The Author was on the titanic?

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. It is fun to play the dumb when speaking with tech support.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. I don't want to see my man in a dress ever!

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. Who would want to be any kind of groupie?

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. That didn't work for me!

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. I would do Mickey Mouse.

7. Taxis stop for us. Author must live in a big city

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. Are you kidding me? Most men spend while alive and leave you the bills. After you pay those bill and bury him nothing left.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. Well I don't but I have seen some woman that shouldn't dance ever!

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). I never went out without any money...don't expect a free ride ever!

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. TRUE

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. True

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. I WISH!!!!!!!!!!

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. Unless you're in prison. LOL

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. No but we sure know how to cut those silent deadly ones.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. Author doesn't have sex daily I presume.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. No we high 5 each other and miss the hand

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. This author never had a cystic zit

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. NO but we do have to reach down to pull the panties out of our crack.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. No that's called people having manners and patience with dumb women.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. I give up on this one because the author is bias against comedy or golf.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. Yes but we so often want a 2nd opinion because well we 2nd guess ourselves. Oh OH and don't let me get started on the woman wearing all that spandex.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. The Author is a prude..what fun is talking to a guy unless send my vivid imagination in overdrive.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. Just play dumb honey. lol

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. Once again the Author demonstrates how acting Dumb isn't cute.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. Yeah, get that make-up ready to cover that zit.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. Can you say out in Left Field?

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. I knew it, the Author is a GERMAN WOMAN

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. I just wanted to thank you the other night at the party for telling me the lipstick you use. :lol:

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. ;) Or buy a GPS

The Author clearly isn't the OP
 

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