What Secrets/Confidences Should School Counselors Keep From Parents?

[Seymour Flops]

I work with a lot of school counselors, very often in my role working with students who have depression and other mental illness and behavior disorders. One thing I often hear the counselors tell the students is "I have to tell someone if you tell me that:

-Someone is hurting you
-You are hurting or planning to hurt someone
-You are hurting or planning to hurt yourself

They don't really promise complete confidence for any other topics that the student might talk to the counselor about, but it is kind of implied. My impression is that the counselors do intend to keep confidence, but that if something came up not on the list, but which the counselor felt must be passed on, they would.

There is some attention to this in the wake of the Florida law which states, in part:

https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2022/1557/BillText/er/PDF

As I read that, it does not require counselors to tell parents anything. It forbids school districts from forbidding counselors from telling parents about their children's mental, emotional, or physical health or well being.

If I'm a counselor, I would read that to mean that I am the decider, based on my professional ethics, of what to tell parents, and when to tell them. That's not a requirement that parents be told if their children seek counseling for gender dysphoria, or homosexuality. I think some of the law's supporters may actually be buying into the hype of its detractors and believe that this requirement now exists.

Here's my opinion:

If a kid tells a counselor that they have gender dysphoria or words that make a reasonable person suspect gender dysphoria, such as "I think I'm really a girl," or the like, then the counselor has the professional obligation to keep confidence or not, based on what the counselor judges best for the child, with a bias, if any, toward keeping the confidence.

Maybe the kid is going through a phase. Maybe the kid wants attention and will forget the whole thing the next day and say that they think they are really a reincarnation of Ghandi or the like. Maybe the counselor can help the kid understand that being uncomfortable with sexuality is normal, so give it some time. That kind of helpful guidance might be stopped if she immediately calls parent or administrators and makes a big deal out of it.

On the other hand, if that counselor thinks, "I believe this a bona fide case of transgenderism, and I want to help this kid start the process of transitioning," the parents should goldurn right be told and before the counselor takes a single step. Making a move like that without parental consent would very much turn it into a big deal. Barring a truly abusive family situation, parents should be the only one starting big deals for their kids.

But that's my opinion. What say you?

 

[Coyote]

I work with a lot of school counselors, very often in my role working with students who have depression and other mental illness and behavior disorders. One thing I often hear the counselors tell the students is "I have to tell someone if you tell me that:

-Someone is hurting you
-You are hurting or planning to hurt someone
-You are hurting or planning to hurt yourself

They don't really promise complete confidence for any other topics that the student might talk to the counselor about, but it is kind of implied. My impression is that the counselors do intend to keep confidence, but that if something came up not on the list, but which the counselor felt must be passed on, they would.

There is some attention to this in the wake of the Florida law which states, in part:

View attachment 649118

https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2022/1557/BillText/er/PDF

As I read that, it does not require counselors to tell parents anything. It forbids school districts from forbidding counselors from telling parents about their children's mental, emotional, or physical health or well being.

If I'm a counselor, I would read that to mean that I am the decider, based on my professional ethics, of what to tell parents, and when to tell them. That's not a requirement that parents be told if their children seek counseling for gender dysphoria, or homosexuality. I think some of the law's supporters may actually be buying into the hype of its detractors and believe that this requirement now exists.

Here's my opinion:

If a kid tells a counselor that they have gender dysphoria or words that make a reasonable person suspect gender dysphoria, such as "I think I'm really a girl," or the like, then the counselor has the professional obligation to keep confidence or not, based on what the counselor judges best for the child, with a bias, if any, toward keeping the confidence.

Maybe the kid is going through a phase. Maybe the kid wants attention and will forget the whole thing the next day and say that they think they are really a reincarnation of Ghandi or the like. Maybe the counselor can help the kid understand that being uncomfortable with sexuality is normal, so give it some time. That kind of helpful guidance might be stopped if she immediately calls parent or administrators and makes a big deal out of it.

On the other hand, if that counselor thinks, "I believe this a bona fide case of transgenderism, and I want to help this kid start the process of transitioning," the parents should goldurn right be told and before the counselor takes a single step. Making a move like that without parental consent would very much turn it into a big deal. Barring a truly abusive family situation, parents should be the only one starting big deals for their kids.

But that's my opinion. What say you?

I agree, but, the counselor can’t do anything if he thinks it is a bona fide case of gender dysphasia. No matter what, if tbe kid is a minor, only the parents can act, right? The counselor should use his professional judgement and what should be most important is tbe safety of the child imo.

 

[metalwolf]

I wonder about it too.

What if a kid came out as trans or gay or started crossdressing and a student tattled on them to a Counselor who informed the kids parents which got the kid in trouble.

​

Like one time i wore a shirt tied like a girl and a disabled special needs student at a job training class told me if i don't untie it like a girl they would report me to a counselor, I wonder if i should have called the student a Karen.

 

[Hang on Sloopy]

These indoctrination kamps are the problems

We're turning normal kids to abnormals

There will be such a mass exodus this Summer thank God

This was all planned decades ago

 

[Dekster]

IDK you folks must have better counselors than we did. I only met with mine like twice maybe three times in high school and it was all school related stuff. They were academic conselors, not tell me your feelings counselors. I recall having to have their signature on something to change classes and I recall having to meet with them my senior year to officially declare for record keeping purposes if I was plannning on going to college, to the military, or to work after my graduation.

 

[Darkwind]

A counselor who withheld a medical condition from Me about My kid would face 30 years after he/she got out of the hospital.

What is it you clowns fail to understand about the entire concept that the children do NOT belong to ANY of you?

 

[fncceo]

Don't be afraid ... I won't tell your parents ...

 

[fncceo]

What if a kid came out as trans or gay or started crossdressing and a student tattled on them to a Counselor who informed the kids parents which got the kid in trouble.

You're operating the an assumption that this news would automatically create trouble for the child.

Of course, when you start with the narcissistic view that only YOU could possibly be enlightened and progressive enough to congratulate the child for their behavior and that breeders are all intolerant redneck homophobes, it's not surprising that you would believe this.

 

[Seymour Flops]

I wonder about it too.

What if a kid came out as trans or gay or started crossdressing and a student tattled on them to a Counselor who informed the kids parents which got the kid in trouble.

​

I would hope that a counselor would not tell a kid's parents something like that based on tattling by a student. But school counselors are sometimes foolish, which is why their actions should be closely scrutinized by elected officials.

Like one time i wore a shirt tied like a girl and a disabled special needs student at a job training class told me if i don't untie it like a girl they would report me to a counselor, I wonder if i should have called the student a Karen.

That story sounds . . . unlikely.

 

[LuckyDuck]

The only excuse I can see for not informing parents/guardians on a matter that a student brought up with the school counselor, would be physical/sexual abuse by the parents or guardians. That should be brought up with the local law enforcement to investigate.
On sexual issues, (i.e., gender dysphoria, et cetera) the student should just be told that the school cannot be involved in the issue.
Reason: The human pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed in females until around the age of 18 and in males, around 25. The pre-frontal cortex is responsible for the brain's executive functions which include future planning, emotional/impulse control, predicting the consequences of one's actions, et cetera.
Until they are fully grown adults, the parents are to be their guides in sexual matters, not some counselor who isn't living with the child on a one on one, daily basis.

 

[Seymour Flops]

IDK you folks must have better counselors than we did. I only met with mine like twice maybe three times in high school and it was all school related stuff. They were academic conselors, not tell me your feelings counselors. I recall having to have their signature on something to change classes and I recall having to meet with them my senior year to officially declare for record keeping purposes if I was plannning on going to college, to the military, or to work after my graduation.

Most school counselors sweat over hot spreadsheets scheduling kids for classes, when they all want different electives, all have different needs, etc. They advise kids about the best steps to take to prepare for college. When I bring a kid with behavior issues to them, they often show a spark of genius in dealing with them.

But those are not the counselors who want to send kids to the transgender industry and not tell the kids' parents. A very few highly agendized counselors are behind that idea.

 

[Seymour Flops]

I guess I could have shortened my rant.

How to create a mass slaughter:

1) Force hundreds of vulnerable people to congregate in one location.

2) Declare that location a "gun free zone."

3) Watch.

 

[Seymour Flops]

I agree, but, the counselor can’t do anything if he thinks it is a bona fide case of gender dysphasia. No matter what, if tbe kid is a minor, only the parents can act, right? The counselor should use his professional judgement and what should be most important is tbe safety of the child imo.

I hope you are right.

But why the virulent objection to a law requiring schools to tell parents about mental health services that they provide to kids, if they have to tell the parents anyway?

Is the law merely banning something nobody is doing in the first place? If so, why object?

Would be my questions.

 

[metalwolf]

I would hope that a counselor would not tell a kid's parents something like that based on tattling by a student. But school counselors are sometimes foolish, which is why their actions should be closely scrutinized by elected officials.

That story sounds . . . unlikely.

It's true.

One time at a charity for special needs kids, i am one as well.

I wore a shirt like a girl and a girl got all pissed and such and started telling me to untie the shirt tied like a girl and i started calling her a bigot and seems she didn't understand what i meant.

 

[Seymour Flops]

It's true.

One time at a charity for special needs kids, i am one as well.

I wore a shirt like a girl and a girl got all pissed and such and started telling me to untie the shirt tied like a girl and i started calling her a bigot and seems she didn't understand what i meant.

What is your disability?

I'm a Special Education teacher, so I won't use it against you.

 

[metalwolf]

What is your disability?

I'm a Special Education teacher, so I won't use it against you.

Aspergers,OCD and i think ADHD.

 

[Seymour Flops]

Aspergers,OCD and i think ADHD.

ADHD and Aspergers are often confused. That is to say, parents of children with ADHD often believe their child must have Asperger's.
The student is unable to focus well enough to understand the socials cues of others, and parents often believe they are unable so see social cues at all.

I wish you well, compeer!