To Brighten Your Night, Ward Churchill

[Annie]

writing on Huffington blog:

http://huffingtonstoast.com/130/am-i-an-indian-ute-be-surprised/

Am I an Indian? Ute be Surprised
May 18th, 2005 at 11:24 am
not really by Ward Churchill

Good afternoon, little Eichmanns. I am here to announce the conclusion of the Neocon witch hunt (apologies to Wiccans, santeros, shamans, Satanists, womyn with pointed noses, people who melt when water is thrown on them, and alcoholics who do magic tricks at kid’s birthday parties) which nearly cost me my teaching post at the University of Colorado.

In response to the whining of fascists in the University hierarchy, many of whom deserted the ‘96 Fulani campaign to vote for the reactionary war criminal Bill Clinton, I have handed in a 50-page report proving conclusively that I am as Native-American as Montezuma’s Revenge, syphilis, and tax-free cigarettes.

I made four dispositive points in my report. I am an Indian because:

1. I call myself an Indian.

2. Other people (who do not have televisions or read newspapers or turn on the
radio or leave their houses) think I am an Indian.

3. I am an associate member of the Keetoowah tribe, a privilege which cost me three
dollars and a proof-of-purchase seal from a package of Red Man chewing tobacco.

4. I give things to people and then take them back.

Since turning in the report, I have come up with additional evidence.

1. My hair is black.

2. I like popcorn.

3. I am a mean drunk.

4. I am high on peyote.

Having proven my detractors to be dissembling, meat-eating Gestapo bedwetters, I would like to get back to teaching your children that they deserve to be blown up at their desks by hard-drinking, titty-bar-frequenting illegal aliens with box cutters.

By the way, I have produced another original piece of Native American art.

You'll have to go to the site to see it


Call my agent if you want to buy a print. Money is a vile capitalist construct, but then so is integrity.

Addendum

It is incredible how far the Bushitler propaganda machine will go to discredit me. They plagiarized my new painting THREE MONTHS before I created it. Via the racist RNC mouthpiece Michelle Malkin.