To any space aliens out there.

[Ray9]

An open letter to space aliens:

Have you detected our signals? We’ve been reaching out to you. We know you are here because occasionally glimpses of your craft are spotted. Now, we suspect that you are quite impressed with the greatness of our cultures and civilizations. The mere fact that you have navigated the timeless cosmic void to get here piques our interest. Your ability to bob and weave through the monumental mine fields of space junk orbiting above our cities shows that you are no slouches either.

We should arrange some kind of meeting. While I can’t speak officially for the entire human species, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s perfectly fine for you to study us. You are probably reading my mind as I write this but I’m going to scrawl this invitation onto my hard drive for posterity. First, a little introduction into what we here on Earth are all about.

We are physical creatures tethered to a physical plain. Natural Earthly laws are no different for us than they are for giraffes or ants or any other organism that has evolved to process hydrogen and oxygen on the surface world. The other creatures we share space with on this realm do not build great cities that are an abomination to natural harmony, nor do they construct machines that allow them to occupy and overrun every corner of the planet.

We are a cut above the other stupid life on this world and we enjoy all the trappings of a slightly larger brain while we ride the whole thing into total destruction on the wings of our own greed and arrogance. That’s the bad news. The good news is that a lot of the stupid life may endure here in spite of us when we are gone, so act fast, human supplies may not last.

Ok, let’s cut to the chase. We love technology. You may have already observed that the more technological we become, the dumber we get. Those television signals you’ve been intercepting across the galaxy are not a joke. In the entire expanse of this universe there must be a zoo that can display us for the education and entertainment of advanced entities.

I tried to flag one of your ships down the other night, but it disappeared in a flickering haze on the stellar horizon. Are you listening?

 

[Obiwan]

An open letter to space aliens:

Have you detected our signals? We’ve been reaching out to you. We know you are here because occasionally glimpses of your craft are spotted. Now, we suspect that you are quite impressed with the greatness of our cultures and civilizations. The mere fact that you have navigated the timeless cosmic void to get here piques our interest. Your ability to bob and weave through the monumental mine fields of space junk orbiting above our cities shows that you are no slouches either.

We should arrange some kind of meeting. While I can’t speak officially for the entire human species, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s perfectly fine for you to study us. You are probably reading my mind as I write this but I’m going to scrawl this invitation onto my hard drive for posterity. First, a little introduction into what we here on Earth are all about.

We are physical creatures tethered to a physical plain. Natural Earthly laws are no different for us than they are for giraffes or ants or any other organism that has evolved to process hydrogen and oxygen on the surface world. The other creatures we share space with on this realm do not build great cities that are an abomination to natural harmony, nor do they construct machines that allow them to occupy and overrun every corner of the planet.

We are a cut above the other stupid life on this world and we enjoy all the trappings of a slightly larger brain while we ride the whole thing into total destruction on the wings of our own greed and arrogance. That’s the bad news. The good news is that a lot of the stupid life may endure here in spite of us when we are gone, so act fast, human supplies may not last.

Ok, let’s cut to the chase. We love technology. You may have already observed that the more technological we become, the dumber we get. Those television signals you’ve been intercepting across the galaxy are not a joke. In the entire expanse of this universe there must be a zoo that can display us for the education and entertainment of advanced entities.

I tried to flag one of your ships down the other night, but it disappeared in a flickering haze on the stellar horizon. Are you listening?

If they managed to spot a deranged liberal, they probably don't want to come back...

After all, they're searching for INTELLIGENT life!!!

 

[bluzman61]

An open letter to space aliens:

Have you detected our signals? We’ve been reaching out to you. We know you are here because occasionally glimpses of your craft are spotted. Now, we suspect that you are quite impressed with the greatness of our cultures and civilizations. The mere fact that you have navigated the timeless cosmic void to get here piques our interest. Your ability to bob and weave through the monumental mine fields of space junk orbiting above our cities shows that you are no slouches either.

We should arrange some kind of meeting. While I can’t speak officially for the entire human species, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s perfectly fine for you to study us. You are probably reading my mind as I write this but I’m going to scrawl this invitation onto my hard drive for posterity. First, a little introduction into what we here on Earth are all about.

We are physical creatures tethered to a physical plain. Natural Earthly laws are no different for us than they are for giraffes or ants or any other organism that has evolved to process hydrogen and oxygen on the surface world. The other creatures we share space with on this realm do not build great cities that are an abomination to natural harmony, nor do they construct machines that allow them to occupy and overrun every corner of the planet.

We are a cut above the other stupid life on this world and we enjoy all the trappings of a slightly larger brain while we ride the whole thing into total destruction on the wings of our own greed and arrogance. That’s the bad news. The good news is that a lot of the stupid life may endure here in spite of us when we are gone, so act fast, human supplies may not last.

Ok, let’s cut to the chase. We love technology. You may have already observed that the more technological we become, the dumber we get. Those television signals you’ve been intercepting across the galaxy are not a joke. In the entire expanse of this universe there must be a zoo that can display us for the education and entertainment of advanced entities.

I tried to flag one of your ships down the other night, but it disappeared in a flickering haze on the stellar horizon. Are you listening?

Nice post, Ray. Thank you.

 

[JLW]

An open letter to space aliens:



I tried to flag one of your ships down the other night, but it disappeared in a flickering haze on the stellar horizon. Are you listening?

 

[gulfman]

I don't mind if the aliens come here.But legally.

 

[jwoodie]

If these aliens were more intelligent than humans, wouldn't they be "gods" by comparison?

 

[Shawnee_b]

Best buddy of 20 years was an alien, told him. "you think so?" Yup. What a brain. Told me once he was bored, I looked around and said "read your while Britannica encyclopedias" he goes "I already did"

 

[harmonica]

..that's some good dope you got there

 

[Crepitus]

Have you detected our signals?

If they've detected a tRump rally they are probably heading the other way.

 

[Shawnee_b]

..that's some good dope you got there

I don't have any dope. Dammit.

 

[Natural Citizen]

Some years ago I sent out a signal into space making it crystal clear that I ain't got nothin to do with any of the shenanigans going on down here. And I gave em a list of names of all of the Earth's tyrants and what they were doing. So they know who to zap. And for some reason I added Richard Simmons to the list, I forget why, though.