This Is The Saddest Video I Have Ever Seen

PoliticalChic

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[youtube]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fJuNgBkloFE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fJuNgBkloFE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/youtube]

I apologize if you appear in it....
 

WillowTree

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that blonde had it right.. She answered Utopia,, she must be a librul.. that's where they live.. :lol:
 
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We're not the only stupid people. Not long ago, I was asked where in the US I come from. I said 'California'. Later, during the same conversation, I mentioned my home as being 'Los Angeles' (which I usually say because it's the closest well known place to my home)... the person I was talking to said "You said you came from California, and now you say Los Angeles, so which is it?" Hmmmm. I asked her "What is the difference between a state and a city in the US?" Her answer.... "States are bigger than cities."

So we are not alone in our stupidity.

But..... there are some - on this very board - who don't know the difference between 'England' and 'London'. There are some so labor under the impression that British food sucks.... It's funny how old stereotypes stick.

FYI Fellow Americans: Not all English men wear bowler hats and carry a copy of the Times.
 
OP
PoliticalChic

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Not exactly razor-sharp

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Dec. 23, 2001.)


We continue to see evidence of an alarming decline in the quality of our nation's criminals.


Consider the man who attempted to rob a mini-mart in the town of Vernon, Conn., as reported in a Journal Inquirer story sent in by alert reader Dan Thompson. The robber elected to wear a disguise, which was a good idea, since he was a regular customer of the store. The problem was the particular disguise he picked.


Shaving cream.


Yes. According to police, the man walked into the store with his face lathered in shaving cream, apparently believing that this made him unrecognizable. Of course the only place where that disguise would work is Metropolis, the city where Superman lives. The citizens there are so stupid that, in 50 years, they have not figured out that Clark Kent is actually Superman wearing eyeglasses. They would be totally baffled by shaving cream.


BRAIN TEASER: Suppose that, one day in Metropolis, Clark Kent loses his glasses. What can he do to prevent the citizens from realizing that he is Superman?


ANSWER: He can announce: "I'm wearing contact lenses!"


But getting back to the attempted robbery in Vernon: Despite the disguise, the store owners instantly recognized the shaving-cream bandit, who ran away and was later captured by the police. The story does not say whether he tried to make himself invisible by putting his hands over his eyes, but we would not be surprised.


Another example of a criminal not being the sharpest quill on the porcupine was reported in an Associated Press story from Jackson, Miss., sent in by alert reader Bill Goggin. The story concerns a man who was arrested for robbing a restaurant and two banks. See if you can guess what clever detective technique the police used to figure out who he was. Do you think they found his fingerprints? Or do you think maybe they analyzed the banks' security videotape? Wrong! The police figured out who he was because, while he was waiting for a bank teller's line to shorten so he could rob her, he filled out a credit application.


Our point is that the nation's criminals are becoming so incompetent that pretty soon they will need some kind of federal subsidy to stay in business. But this does not mean that we citizens should not be vigilant. For an excellent example of citizen vigilance, we turn to an amazing story from the Oklahoma City, Okla., Oklahoman (motto: "Located in Oklahoma").


This story, written by Ryan Mcneill and sent in by alert legal attorney Jim Webb, describes a crime spree by a man who robbed three businesses by threatening cashiers with an ax. The third business was a Wal-Mart, and when the man entered the store, he was spotted by a Wal-Mart employee. We all wonder how we would respond if we faced such a situation - a man walking into our store, carrying an ax - and we just hope that we would show the presence of mind of this employee, who, without regard for personal safety, walked up to this man and ....


.... and ....


.... and put a sticker on the ax. This was to show that the man had the ax when he entered the store. If not for this display of quick thinking, there could have been a major misunderstanding during the robbery, as we see by this hypothetical scenario:


ROBBER (brandishing the ax): Hand over the money!


CASHIER: Wait a minute! Did you steal that ax here?


ROBBER: No! I had it when I came in!


CASHIER: Oh, really? Then where is your sticker?


ROBBER: Dang! (He leaves, empty-handed.)


We conclude our National Crime Report with the following police-blotter item from the July 3 issue of the Tomahawk, Wis., Tomahawk Leader, sent in by alert reader Sylvia Linton, which we swear we are not making up:


"An elderly Merrill woman stated that a bear on a bicycle had vandalized her bird feeder Friday. She suspected that the bear, described as big, had fled from the circus because an ordinary bear could not ride a bicycle so well."


So if you own a bird feeder, BE ON THE LOOKOUT for a bicycle-riding bear described as "big."


Of course, all bets are off if it gets hold of shaving cream.


(c) 2010, Dave Barry



Read more: Not exactly razor-sharp - Dave Barry - MiamiHerald.com
 

Samson

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There are some so labor under the impression that British food sucks.... It's funny how old stereotypes stick.

FYI Fellow Americans: Not all English men wear bowler hats and carry a copy of the Times.

What Brit. Food is Good?

You need to start this thread in the Foodie Forum, because I'm among the "some...."

I've been in London, trying to find British Food That Does NOT Suck. Do you mean fried fish and potatoes? I agree this doesn't "suck," but if this is the best they have, I'm unimpressed.
 
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There are some so labor under the impression that British food sucks.... It's funny how old stereotypes stick.

FYI Fellow Americans: Not all English men wear bowler hats and carry a copy of the Times.

What Brit. Food is Good?

You need to start this thread in the Foodie Forum, because I'm among the "some...."

I've been in London, trying to find British Food That Does NOT Suck. Do you mean fried fish and potatoes? I agree this doesn't "suck," but if this is the best they have, I'm unimpressed.
Then get out of London.... because there are excellent Brit restaurants around my area.
 

SpidermanTuba

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[youtube]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fJuNgBkloFE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fJuNgBkloFE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/youtube]

I apologize if you appear in it....
For the record, "The United States" starts with a "T"
 

JBeukema

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[youtube]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fJuNgBkloFE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fJuNgBkloFE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/youtube]

I apologize if you appear in it....
For the record, "The United States" starts with a "T"
Not if you're a librarian
United States of America, The
 

Sunshine

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Before I went to Canada for my daughter's wedding I called my health insurance company to find out if my insurance would be good there. The response I got - a very polite, "Yes ma'am, your insurance is good in all 50 states." :lol:
 

JBeukema

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Before I went to Canada for my daughter's wedding I called my health insurance company to find out if my insurance would be good there. The response I got - a very polite, "Yes ma'am, your insurance is good in all 50 states." :lol:
It's the 58th state Obama didn't get a chance to visit :lol:
 

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