'This Is The Detroit Lions And We'd Love To Sign You,' Says Giggling Trump On Yet Another Prank Call

[PoliticalChic]

"'This Is The Detroit Lions And We'd Love To Sign You,' Says Giggling Trump On Yet Another Prank Call To Colin Kaepernick
December 6th, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C.—There wasn't much happening in the world today, so Trump simply sat at his desk looking for something to do.


Then he got an idea. Picking up his desk phone, he dialed a number and waited for the man on the other end to pick up.

Meanwhile, Colin Kaepernick was sitting around nervously waiting for his phone to ring at long last. As his ringtone, the USSR anthem, began to play, Kaepernick lunged for the phone and picked up on the first ring. "Hello?" he said, attempting to sound casual.

"Hi, uh, yes, is this a Mr. Kaepernick?" Trump said, stifling laughter.

"Yeah, it's me. Who's this?" Kaepernick said, trying not to get his hopes up.

"This is the Detroit Lions, and we'd love to sign you," Trump said, barely containing his laughter.

"OK, well, I've got a lot of offers so let me talk with my agent and get back to you," Kaepernick said, taking a knee in his joy.

"Yeah, we've got a great franchise here. One of the best. Maybe the best franchise ever. Lots of footballing and throwing. Even some kicking. You'll fit in great here. When can you come for a tryout?" Trump said, the floodgates of laughter ready to burst at any moment.

Kapernick's face fell. "Oh man. Donald Trump, is that you!?"

"Ha! Classic!" Trump said. "You should have heard yourself. 'Let me talk with my agent and get back to you' -- Sad! Fell for it hook, line, and sinker! You're a low-IQ individual!"

This is reportedly the third time Trump has pulled this stunt this week.

At publishing time, Trump was dialing from a different number, planning on pretending to be the Miami Dolphins front office."
'This Is The Detroit Lions And We'd Love To Sign You,' Says Giggling Trump On Yet Another Prank Call To Colin Kaepernick

 

[rightwinger]

Maybe Kap can get a Reality TV show

 

[PoliticalChic]

"Gardener In Background Of Kaepernick Video Receives Call From Washington Redskins
December 7th, 2019

U.S.—A gardener visible in several shots of Colin Kaepernick's workout video has been signed as a lineman by the Washington Redskins.


After noticing the man's speed, raw strength, and dedication, the Redskins signed the gardener as an offensive lineman.

The man received several calls from NFL teams but settled with the Redskins as he liked their shrubberies and they promised he'd still be allowed to mow the lawns.

"Well, I'm a simple man who likes mowin' lawns, trimmin' hedges, and a cold beer after work," the man, identified as 45-year-old Bud Stanley, told reporters. "I hope I'm an asset to the organization. They're bumping me up to a better mower model, too, one of them ride-on deals. Yeah, I'm lookin' forward to the games too, I suppose. I just pretend the other team's linemen are particularly tough tree roots and push right through."

Stanley's being called a prodigy.

There was also another man in the foreground of the workout video, but the Redskins had him digitally removed so they could get a better look at Stanley."
Gardener In Background Of Kaepernick Video Receives Call From Washington Redskins

 

[rightwinger]

It would actually be funny if Trump were eloquent or witty enough to actually make the call