I'm a two-time retiree now......and I'm starting to do things that my folks did when they got old.
- I never take my shirt off outside...nobody wants to see that
- Watching the weather channel all day long
- Falling asleep in my chair watching TV...I never used to do that
- Giving exact change at the register
- Forgetting where my glasses are....when they're on my lap
- Can't find shoes that don't hurt my feet
- Can't remember what day of the week it is
- Play chess on my tablet
- Realize all of those old movies and cartoons I used to love really sucked
- I hate loud music now
- I learned how to cook a steak as good as Outback Steakhouse
- Know enough history to be able to spot lies from the media
- Refuse to leave food on my plate
Things I don't do yet that old people do:
- Make grunting sounds when I sit down
- Play Bingo
- Have to pull my teeth out before I go to sleep
- Have to make trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night
- Eat TV Dinners
- Have to wear reading glasses....on the PC....(reading instructions from products made in China is a different story)
- Can't remember if I just took a shit or ate
- Only vote for Democrats because I believe they are protecting Social Security
- Carry a cane or an umbrella everywhere I go
- Would love to be a greeter at Walmart
- Yell at the neighbor's kids when they play in my yard