Things We Do When We Get Old

mudwhistle

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Jul 21, 2009
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Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts
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I'm a two-time retiree now......and I'm starting to do things that my folks did when they got old.

  1. I never take my shirt off outside...nobody wants to see that
  2. Watching the weather channel all day long
  3. Falling asleep in my chair watching TV...I never used to do that
  4. Giving exact change at the register
  5. Forgetting where my glasses are....when they're on my lap
  6. Can't find shoes that don't hurt my feet
  7. Can't remember what day of the week it is
  8. Play chess on my tablet
  9. Realize all of those old movies and cartoons I used to love really sucked
  10. I hate loud music now
  11. I learned how to cook a steak as good as Outback Steakhouse
  12. Know enough history to be able to spot lies from the media
  13. Refuse to leave food on my plate
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Things I don't do yet that old people do:
  1. Make grunting sounds when I sit down
  2. Play Bingo
  3. Have to pull my teeth out before I go to sleep
  4. Have to make trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night
  5. Eat TV Dinners
  6. Have to wear reading glasses....on the PC....(reading instructions from products made in China is a different story)
  7. Can't remember if I just took a shit or ate
  8. Only vote for Democrats because I believe they are protecting Social Security
  9. Carry a cane or an umbrella everywhere I go
  10. Would love to be a greeter at Walmart
  11. Yell at the neighbor's kids when they play in my yard
 
View attachment 440761

I'm a two-time retiree now......and I'm starting to do things that my folks did when they got old.

  1. I never take my shirt off outside...nobody wants to see that
  2. Watching the weather channel all day long
  3. Falling asleep in my chair watching TV...I never used to do that
  4. Giving exact change at the register
  5. Forgetting where my glasses are....when they're on my lap
  6. Can't find shoes that don't hurt my feet
  7. Can't remember what day of the week it is
  8. Play chess on my tablet
  9. Realize all of those old movies and cartoons I used to love really sucked
  10. I hate loud music now
  11. I learned how to cook a steak as good as Outback Steakhouse
  12. Know enough history to be able to spot lies from the media
  13. Refuse to leave food on my plate
View attachment 440760

Things I don't do yet that old people do:
  1. Make grunting sounds when I sit down
  2. Play Bingo
  3. Have to pull my teeth out before I go to sleep
  4. Have to make trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night
  5. Eat TV Dinners
  6. Have to wear reading glasses....on the PC....(reading instructions from products made in China is a different story)
  7. Can't remember if I just took a shit or ate
  8. Only vote for Democrats because I believe they are protecting Social Security
  9. Carry a cane or an umbrella everywhere I go
  10. Would love to be a greeter at Walmart
  11. Yell at the neighbor's kids when they play in my yard

Thanks. Ain't great to have all these wonderful states of being to look forward to?
 
View attachment 440761

I'm a two-time retiree now......and I'm starting to do things that my folks did when they got old.

  1. I never take my shirt off outside...nobody wants to see that
  2. Watching the weather channel all day long
  3. Falling asleep in my chair watching TV...I never used to do that
  4. Giving exact change at the register
  5. Forgetting where my glasses are....when they're on my lap
  6. Can't find shoes that don't hurt my feet
  7. Can't remember what day of the week it is
  8. Play chess on my tablet
  9. Realize all of those old movies and cartoons I used to love really sucked
  10. I hate loud music now
  11. I learned how to cook a steak as good as Outback Steakhouse
  12. Know enough history to be able to spot lies from the media
  13. Refuse to leave food on my plate
View attachment 440760

Things I don't do yet that old people do:
  1. Make grunting sounds when I sit down
  2. Play Bingo
  3. Have to pull my teeth out before I go to sleep
  4. Have to make trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night
  5. Eat TV Dinners
  6. Have to wear reading glasses....on the PC....(reading instructions from products made in China is a different story)
  7. Can't remember if I just took a shit or ate
  8. Only vote for Democrats because I believe they are protecting Social Security
  9. Carry a cane or an umbrella everywhere I go
  10. Would love to be a greeter at Walmart
  11. Yell at the neighbor's kids when they play in my yard
I see you forgot your Depends again.
 
View attachment 440761

I'm a two-time retiree now......and I'm starting to do things that my folks did when they got old.

  1. I never take my shirt off outside...nobody wants to see that
  2. Watching the weather channel all day long
  3. Falling asleep in my chair watching TV...I never used to do that
  4. Giving exact change at the register
  5. Forgetting where my glasses are....when they're on my lap
  6. Can't find shoes that don't hurt my feet
  7. Can't remember what day of the week it is
  8. Play chess on my tablet
  9. Realize all of those old movies and cartoons I used to love really sucked
  10. I hate loud music now
  11. I learned how to cook a steak as good as Outback Steakhouse
  12. Know enough history to be able to spot lies from the media
  13. Refuse to leave food on my plate
View attachment 440760

Things I don't do yet that old people do:
  1. Make grunting sounds when I sit down
  2. Play Bingo
  3. Have to pull my teeth out before I go to sleep
  4. Have to make trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night
  5. Eat TV Dinners
  6. Have to wear reading glasses....on the PC....(reading instructions from products made in China is a different story)
  7. Can't remember if I just took a shit or ate
  8. Only vote for Democrats because I believe they are protecting Social Security
  9. Carry a cane or an umbrella everywhere I go
  10. Would love to be a greeter at Walmart
  11. Yell at the neighbor's kids when they play in my yard
I've had you pegged as a "stay offa my lawn" guy for a while.
 
Giving exact change at the register
I learned how to cook a steak as good as Outback Steakhouse
Refuse to leave food on my plate
Have to make trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night
I only give exact change when I have it and because of my love for food, I will admit that I am not just a plate cleaner, but I will lick my plate too. I have never once been to an Outback Steakhouse building. My trips to the bathroom are due to how much drinking I do which is because of all of the dieting that I do.

God bless you always!!!

Holly (age 38)
 

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