Things not to say to one's wife....

[dmp]

"...you look great in that swimsuit - and to think people say women with huge asses can't be sexy..."

(sigh).

Any others?

 

[GotZoom]

She says, "Does my butt look big in this?"

He says, "Define big."

 

[GotZoom]

"Here Honey, I bought you some new panties"

http://forgetmenotpanties.contagiousmedia.org/about.html

Forget-me-not panties will help protect the women in your life!
These panties will monitor the location of your daughter, wife or girlfriend 24 hours a day, and can even monitor their heart rate and body temperature.
Based on pioneering research developed by the U.S. military at DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency), we have brought this revolutionary technology, previously only available to the military, to you!

These "panties" can trace the exact location of your woman and send the information, via satellite, to your cell phone, PDA, and PC simultaneously! Use our patented mapping system, pantyMap®, to find the exact location of your loved one 24 hours a day.

The technology is embedded into a piece of fabric so seamlessly she will never know it's there!

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

How about...

"No, I never DATED her... we just fooled around some."

"Have you lost some weight honey?"

"Are you sure you don't care that I go out tonight?"

"It tastes good honey, but my mom makes it better."

{when asked if you've been with over 20 women}
"Do blowjobs count?"

 

[dmp]

"Here Honey, I bought you some new panties"

http://forgetmenotpanties.contagiousmedia.org/about.html

Forget-me-not panties will help protect the women in your life!
These panties will monitor the location of your daughter, wife or girlfriend 24 hours a day, and can even monitor their heart rate and body temperature.
Based on pioneering research developed by the U.S. military at DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency), we have brought this revolutionary technology, previously only available to the military, to you!

These "panties" can trace the exact location of your woman and send the information, via satellite, to your cell phone, PDA, and PC simultaneously! Use our patented mapping system, pantyMap®, to find the exact location of your loved one 24 hours a day.

The technology is embedded into a piece of fabric so seamlessly she will never know it's there!

Coolest Product EVER. I'm definately going to get some for my daughter.



when she's older.

 

[Mr. P]

If yer smart, you learn to just GRUNT early on and never really say anything. Otherwise it's :bangheads .

 

[no1tovote4]

My wife has learned to translate any wordless grunt into something insulting....

Just remain SILENT!

 

[Mr. P]

My wife has learned to translate any wordless grunt into something insulting....

Just remain SILENT!

That works...somethimes...Tell they say, "well what do ya think"? Or something like that...We MUST mix an match!

 

[manu1959]

you know... i just say what i am thinking and deal with what comes back....oh she doesn't ask me my opinion anymore...so it is all sorted now

 

[Mr. P]

you know... i just say what i am thinking and deal with what comes back....oh she doesn't ask me my opinion anymore...so it is all sorted now

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: I do the same..Just can't help it..No PC here. :rotflmao:

 

[manu1959]

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: I do the same..Just can't help it..No PC here. :rotflmao:

dude the other night we were going to a black tie charity dinner and i am in my standard issue blue suite white shirt rust color tie thingy.....

she walk in with about the 5th black dress on and asks ......do i look fat in this.....

yes (oops too quick) she said thanks and changed

 

[Mr. P]

dude the other night we were going to a black tie charity dinner and i am in my standard issue blue suite white shirt rust color tie thingy.....

she walk in with about the 5th black dress on and asks ......do i look fat in this.....

yes (oops too quick) she said thanks and changed

No, come on now..she didn't say "thanks", She said, "THANKS"! As in..thanks asshole. Or, as in, you ain't gettin any tonight butt-head...I'm I right?
Remember, mix grunt with silence they can't follow that.

 

[no1tovote4]

At least you didn't say, "No, it isn't the DRESS that makes you look FAT!"

 

[manu1959]

No, come on now..she didn't say "thanks", She said, "THANKS"! As in..thanks asshole. Or, as in, you ain't gettin any tonight butt-head...I'm I right?
Remember, mix grunt with silence they can't follow that.

no really my wife is great she said thanks changed and we had drunken sex that night.....at least i think that was her

 

[kancer43]

my fiance told me once that he was at a gas station with one of his friends when they saw this hot girl and he said "yeah my girlfriend is great, she looks like her"

I don't know if I should have taken that offensively because he meant it as a compliment but it still pissed me off anyways...