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The story of Henry: the persecuted billionaire


Gold Member
Jul 17, 2010
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This is the story of Henry, the persecuted billionaire.

It all started when Henry asked government if he could build a power plant on top of a fault line, by the side of the ocean.

Government says "gosh no Henry" because "we gotta protect the public from the risk of an earthquake/tsunami, which would cause damages far in excess of your ability to pay. What the heck ya thinking Henry? That would be like if we allowed you to create a derivatives market with money you didn't have (through a deregulation in leverage standards). We'd never do that. Our job as regulators is to make sure your risks don't destroy the economy, like we did during the postwar years - a 35 year period of highly regulated, stable financial markets and the consequent economic growth"

So... Henry - the persecuted billionaire - spends the next 30 years funding elections (staffing government with cronies who will side with the interests of his shareholders over the public interest in not having a nuclear plant built on a fault line).

Additionally, Henry pours money into thinks tanks, publishing groups, internet, TV, radio, and universities to create an impenetrable wall of data, anecdotes, narratives, and fist tightening rage against the very concept of government regulation, thus making regulators easier to weaken & capture. Henry's media strategy convinces people that lifting even one government pinky on behalf of the public is not only inefficient (because bureaucrats lack the appropriate incentives and information), but also unethical (because intervention destroys freedom). And besides… scientists (in the think tanks Henry has generously funded) have finally proven that the data on earthquakes and tsunamis has been vastly over-stated - and there is no danger to building a nuclear plant on a fault line.

Henry effectively uses (buys) the information systems to convince people that earthquakes and tsunamis are liberal exaggerations designed to establish bureaucracies over economic activity so that Big Government can force economic actors to serve social goals.

Fast forward, 30 years later - 30 years of buying government, science, and media - Henry asks again: "Can I build a nuclear power plant on top of a fault line, near the ocean". Government (now staffed by Henry and his campaign donations) says, "sure boss, and here's a subsidy we got by cutting the funding for public transportation, education, and aid for wheel chair cripples. And don't worry about your workers not being able to afford higher transportation costs and health care. We gave them credit cards. We'll loan them the money which they used to make in wages and benefits -- indeed, we'll create a credit economy with the staggering profits you now have in the bank. If they default on the loans you gave them, we'll bail you out & foreclose on them - thus giving you all their assets. Then, you can sell their stuff to the next round of idiots. Indeed, isn't this a much better way to use your profits than having to invest in risky new technologies that you'll never be able to sell because you don't pay your workers enough money to buy stuff?"

So Henry - the persecuted billionaire - gets the "ok" to build the nuclear plant on top of the fault line. AND THEN.. (gosh darn it, wouldn't ya know it) ... there is a stinking earthquake which triggers a tsunami, which causes a nuclear meltdown, which destroys the economy, which kills a bunch of people, some of which float by Henry's oceanside retreat and spoil his mood. All is not lost because the government bails Henry out, which leads to even bigger cuts to public transportation and education. [Which is fine by me dear reader, because Henry is an innovator and job creator, whereas public transportation & education are socialism, which makes people lazy & unproductive, especially on sub-zero days when working pregnant mothers enjoy the unearned luxury of a bus they didn't pay for]

Then (and this is where things get real crazy) we discover the truth. It turns out that Al Gore, who is the real owner of all the media, distorted the reporting to make it look like the cause was an earthquake/Tsunami (-apparently Gore drove by the nuclear plant in his liberal elitist yacht, displacing enough water to create a fake tsunami). Predictably, the Tea Party springs into action on Limbaugh's cue. They pour into the streets with pitchforks to save Henry, the persecuted billionaire.
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