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Soccer Damsel


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Sep 22, 2013
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I decided to include a stand-alone featurette about anti-terrorism soccer, so I could expound (just once) on the 'couture' of new age pro-globalization design, so I really hope you all like it!

Thanks so much for reading (signing off),


"Ajay Satan was an idealistic Internet-blogger from Algeria who blogged about censorship/pornography in modern media. He was a terrific soccer player as a youngster in Algeria and then played casually in college in America! Ajay wrote about how soccer media promoted anti-terrorism dialogue, especially after the successes of the US women's national soccer team at the World Cup, which brought more globalization-minded political critics into the media world of sports-oriented peace dialogue. Ajay was a big fan of the Summer Olympics terrorism-docudrama film Munich."


"Ajay's girlfriend, an Italian-American fashion-model named Eva, was doing a special media shoot in Italy for the Serie A European pro-club team Inter Milan. You see, the US women's national soccer team was doing a joint-media venture with the Inter Milan men's club-soccer team, trying to promote Euro-soccer fanfare with American soccer interests. While soccer was popular in youth-leagues and colleges in America, it remained popular at the international level only in women's sports. Eva was doing stylish shoots to increase interest in female athletes and women in general towards European men's soccer!"


"As Eva prepared for one of her shoots for Inter Milan and the US women's national soccer team, she got a very strange death-threat letter from a deranged European/Italian soccer fan who claimed Eva was helping Americans 'invade' the world of European soccer. Eva called her boyfriend Ajay and told her about the death-threat, so Ajay flew to Italy to help her feel more safe. They told the police, so there was extra security now during the important photo-shoot which was going to be featured in GQ Magazine."


"The photo-shoot media-event was paired with an important UEFA Champions League game between Inter Milan and Manchester (from England's Premier League!). The Inter-Manchester rivalry was quite interesting in UEFA fan-clubs, so this would be the right media-marketing angle for the Inter Milan and US women's national soccer team joint-venture. Ajay Satan, Eva's boyfriend, reasoned that was the reason the deranged fan/terrorist was threatening his girlfriend Eva. Terrorism threatened new age social platforms regarding pro-globalization media."


"The Italian police provided extra security during the photo-shoots and the Inter-Manchester game, in the off-chance that the mysterious terrorist who sent Eva the death-threat would try to subvert these media-hyped events in Italy. Ajay Satan wondered if it would be prudent to blog about this terrible danger in one of his blogs. After all, his girlfriend was a popular fashion-model, and Ajay wanted the Italian police to simply do all the work and not worry about what he should be doing to increase awareness in one of his propaganda-blogs!"


"Another fashion-model at the photo-shoot was an Italian-American model named Evangelina. She was older than Eva and had more magazine and modeling time in the world of fashion. She was supporting Eva emotionally and assuring her that this death-threat was random and had nothing to do with Eva personally. It was simply a message sent by a deranged fan or terrorist! Eva agreed and felt comfortable because of the wise words of her older model-friend Evangelina."


"Ajay Satan decided to hit the streets of Italy while all the fashion-model and Inter-Manchester fandom and bruhaha were going on, to see if he could personally catch this deranged fan/terrorist. Ajay dressed up like a ninja and prowled around the city of Rome (Italy) in the wee small hours of the morning (3-6 am) and tried to see if he could 'entice' the deranged fan/terrorist into exposing himself, in the off-chance that the maniac was simply trying to 'hunt down' idealists in 'dirty' masks! Ajay found the psycho and discovered he was trying to mimic the American horror-film psycho Leatherface (a fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal!), so he could scare away Americans trying to 'invade' Europe. Ajay paralyzed the ghoul with his mace-spray, but the psycho managed to escape and disappear. Ajay told the police about this 'Leatherface' incident the next day!"


"The Italian police-detective asked Ajay if his blogs included information about his interests in European soccer or his experience as a youngster playing soccer in Algeria. Ajay Satan admitted that he'd included photos of his colorful Inter Milan pro-club soccer trading-cards on one of his blogs, to address the consumerism-aesthetics of new age sports-marketing and how they contributed to commercial discussions about pro-globalization customs, exchange, and of course, dollars! The Italian police-detective suggested Ajay refrain from posting anymore images or ideas about Inter Milan merchandise, lest the Leatherface-copycat threatening his model-girlfriend use such merchandise as 'fodder' for his terroristic anti-American campaign!"


"Ajay noticed all the beautiful women at the model-shoots and Inter-Manchester fan-events in that entire experience and wondered how such a fun and colorful sport could be scarred by the modern reality of anti-commercial terrorism. Ajay had blogged about 9/11 and how it contributed to globalization-paranoia, but he wondered about the ugliness of anti-sports terrorism (e.g., Munich) and why even soccer, such a pleasing game, would be darkened by a maniac/terrorist."


"Ajay noticed the awesome military Lamborghini stationed outside the villa his girlfriend Eva and her model-friend Evangelina were staying in during the entire soccer-media event. This Lamborghini was equipped with so many security and weapons-features that only a fool would try to threaten the villa where people were comfortably visiting (Eva/Evangelina). Had the Leatherface-copycat not performed his threatening deed, such elaborate security measures would simply be dorky!"


"Ajay also noticed the impressive newly-designed handguns the Italian police stationed outside the villa where Eva/Evangelina were staying were carrying! These transparent guns were rapid-firing and extremely easy-to-use, so the police could immediately find and shoot their targets with minimum noise. Ajay marveled at all the fineries and darts that anti-terrorism deliberation had generated in the modern era. He hoped he could blog about these decisions when he returned to the USA."


"Finally, the Leatherface-copycat who sent Ajay's model-girlfriend the death-threat was captured! He turned out to be the handsome/dashing model-boyfriend of Eva's model-girlfriend Evangelina! The maniac/terrorist was none other than the Italian fashion-model Guiseppe Totti, who'd done lots of work with pro-sports teams and was a huge fan of Inter Milan himself. It turned out that Totti was indeed paranoid about Americans (in this case, the US women's national soccer team!) 'invading' the 'world' of European soccer. Ajay was so relieved Totti was caught and arrested and congratulated the Italian police!"


"The media-event and Inter-Manchester game concluded with peaceful success. The GQ Magazine featurette marketing the event featured the incredible photos of the models in stunning fashion-attire, promoting not only women-in-sports (i.e., the US women's national soccer team) but also the hyping of Italian couture/customs surrounding Inter Milan soccer and hence European ritual itself! The magazine-article included a small mention about the maniac/terrorist Totti who'd endangered the entire ornamental operation."


"Ajay and Eva returned to America, and Eva continued to do more modeling-shoots. Now, she was working with the US women's national soccer team in a cool ad about the upcoming Summer Olympics, where a number of the female athletes from the US national team would compete in the soccer tournament, hoping to bring home a coveted gold medal. Eva was doing shoots featuring herself and some of the members of the US national team in designed swimwear and bikinis, perfect for summertime drawings."


AJAY: Thank God Totti is in jail!
EVA: He may as well have been Leatherface.
AJAY: Terrorism stinks!
EVA: Thanks for accompanying me in Italy, Ajay.
AJAY: I had nothing better to do...
EVA: Well, I guess that's why you weren't blogging!
AJAY: Right; I'm glad you're safe now, Eva.
EVA: What're you going to blog now, sweetie?
AJAY: Well, I won't include Inter Milan paraphernalia.
EVA: Good.
AJAY: Maybe I'll talk about the Munich '72 terrorism.
EVA: Sounds interesting...
AJAY: Is everything cool with your current Olympics modeling stuff?
EVA: Everything's fine!
AJAY: You became a real 'soccer damsel' and heroine, Eva.
EVA: Thanks!
AJAY: We should get married.
EVA: Let me finish this Olympics modeling-shoot first.
AJAY: Alright; maybe you should ease off the other sports-related stuff.
EVA: Yeah, we need to get over the trauma of the Totti-affair.
AJAY: Right.
EVA: Terrorism is the new face of evil.
AJAY: It's worse than drugs now.
EVA: Jesus will protect us.
AJAY: Of course...



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Sep 22, 2013
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The Gold Cleats

I wanted to add just one chapter (addendum) presenting a politically-charged vignette about how our modern fascination with treasure has bred in us a somewhat 'dangerous' form of pride, and this fortune-diorama story was inspired by the film Fiddler on the Roof.



"A ton of old-world Israeli gold coins were being shipped to a special bank in Switzerland as Geneva prepared to host the Women's World Cup soccer tournament. These gold coins had Hebrew imagery/print on them and were highly valuable. The Swiss bank holding these coins were going to work with media to talk about the global community coming together to celebrate the resilience of the Jewish people, since these gold coins survived the great property raids of Nazi Germany! It was convenient that the transportation of this Jewish gold came in time for the women's World Cup, since this international athletic event is where female athletes of the USA really stood out, so US President Donald Trump was prepared and interested in making all kinds of pro-globalization comments regarding this important time in world history."


"However, a new face emerged into this political and historical scene, and he was of course a terrorist! This ski-mask wearing crazy called himself Shadow and wore black ski-masks and black outfits and carried nifty handguns. Shadow intended to steal the Jewish gold, though he had no express ties to any anti-Semitic group or anti-American terrorist group, so it was mysterious why he was interrupting this important peaceful time in Switzerland, when Jewish gold was being celebrated and secured while the Women's World Cup was being hosted in Geneva! However, Shadow simply wanted the gold, perhaps for himself, and perhaps to make some untimely statement about gold is gold, no matter who is currently in possession of the precious substance."


"The World Cup tournament proceeded, and the Americans were doing very well, pouncing on nations such as Korea and Germany and preparing to face heavyweights Germany and Holland. Meanwhile, it was reported that the Jewish gold coins being held at the guarded Swiss bank were stolen! Someone apparently disarmed the computer-alarm systems late-night and then burrowed underground through a manmade tunnel and made his way into the vault and took the gold coins. Apparently, this thief knew someone who worked inside the bank and was able to design the tunnel in time to perform the underground heist! Now, the world was after this bandit, and everyone knew it was the Shadow. So, now, the Shadow had to escape, as the World Cup was still being played in Switzerland."


"One day, during a World Cup game between America and Italy, a mysterious journalist named Stan Lee, claiming he was sent by an anonymous royal-family admirer from the East, arrived with a nifty can of liquid-metallic gold spray. He offered to spray the soccer-cleats of the American team with the liquid-gold spray, to give their shoes a sci-fi sturdy shine during their game. The American team accepted the fun offer, and Stan sprayed all their shoes with the liquid-gold spray and then photographed the game so he'd write a story about how the American women's team were challenging Italy in gold-sprayed shoes, to help the international community get over the trauma of the Shadow looting all the precious Jewish coins from the Swiss bank!"


"The gold-spray on the bottom of the gold Puma shoes provided by Stan Lee and his investors proved to help the American team glide and play swiftly and sturdily that day, and they defeated Italy 4-2. Stan took photos of the gold-sprayed cleats and the American women playing with them on as they defeated their rival Italy. The photos and Stan's story were to be printed in the United Nations Gazette. This pleased the nation of Israel who congratulated the UN for helping the world get over the terrible haunting of the Shadow who'd just stolen all those precious Israeli coins that had survived the horrors of Nazi Germany!"


"As the UN proudly presented a historic painting of a devout Hebrew rabbi giving a sermon in a Swiss synagogue regarding the terrible theft of the Israeli gold-coins while the American women's soccer team defeated Italy with special gold-sprayed soccer-cleats as a gesture of sentiment and honor. This painting of the rabbi delivering his symbolic sermon would hopefully chase away the demonic influence of the clever thief (the Shadow!) and remind the global community that even in this modern age of great capitalism ambition, human beings cared about the sanctification of treasure! This was a noble moment for the United Nations indeed."


"Stan Lee was in fact the Shadow. He sprayed the American women's soccer team's cleats with the gold melted down from the stolen Jewish coins and then converted into a spray using HCL and nitric-acid. Stan/Shadow then collected the cleats from the women's team after their victorious game and then had the gold removed from the shoes and heated again and reshaped into all kinds of ornamental guns, not meant for use, but simply for show. Stan/Shadow kept these gold guns in his treasure-cabinet in his secret chateau in Chechnya (outside Russia!). Shadow (Stan) considered these gold guns his symbols of perfect terrorism."


"No one knew what happened to the Jewish gold coins, and Stan never performed another heist. He was satisfied with his collection of reshaped gold guns from the stolen Israeli coins from the Swiss bank during that World Cup tournament. Stan (Shadow) decided to start ghost-writing a book titled Transforming Power in which he talked about the terrible need to elevate the value of precious items wrought during survival in times of great conflict and war. Shadow considered this valuation-elevation a sign of the deep flaws of capitalism and political prestige in human civilization. He believed he kept his precious reshaped 'gold guns' as a testament to his praise of the idea of revolution."


"Some time later, Stan Lee resurfaced in Austria and announced that he himself was a royal from an Eastern European country and now sought a beautiful wife to take as his princess. Stan claimed he was so happy with the victory of the US women's national soccer team over Italy during the women's World Cup tournament in Switzerland that he wanted to celebrate with a published photo of his new bride in the United Nations Gazette. The woman he found was a beautiful Italian princess named Eva Brondi."


"Stan/Shadow still kept his secret/hidden treasure-cabinet of molded 'gold guns' and considered them his trophies of revolution. He wanted this heist to spread media attention to the traumas endured by the Jewish people who succumbed to the power-monster of Nazi Germany as well as other people who endured property and emotional damage during times of power struggles. Stan/Shadow wanted people to think seriously about how gold had become a terrible sign of spiritual sloth towards capitalism-idolatry. He wanted his gold guns to be signs of great propaganda."


"At a monumental meeting of German Jews still living in Berlin (Germany), there was a rousing discussion about how the Shadow's new book was raising attention to how the loss of property and life in times of great power-upheaval and calamity reminded humanity of the gravity of ambition itself. This meeting highlighted why Shadow would steal gold cherished by such a tortured people (Jews) simply to create an elevated form of media propaganda. The meeting of these German Jews complemented the success of the American women's soccer team at the World Cup in Switzerland, and US President Donald Trump tweeted, 'Gold makes the world shiny...and democratic!'."


STAN/SHADOW: "In many ways, my Italian princess-wife (Eva Brondi) is the ideal 'soccer damsel' that previous terrorists have tried to use as evil symbols of terrorism. Eva has become my testament to the beauty wrought from hell and the hope derived from ingenuity. My praise of Eva will sanctify the gold lost by the Jews during the Holocaust...and the world will consider how gold itself is a symbol of real danger. That's my sincere hope...as a 'daylight' terrorist."




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Sep 22, 2013
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Korea: Bank of Destiny

Sorry, I had to add one more tongue-in-cheek vignette about political detention, and it's inspired by the film Never Say Never Again (Sean Connery).

Happy New Year (signing off),



"A mysterious tourist in North Korea named Rex (apparently an ex-patriate from South Africa!) decided he'd rob the Golden Triangle central-bank in the nation. North Korea was working with the economic/commercial work in recent years but remained a trouble-spot in modern globalization-rhetoric. Rex knew that North Korea was attempting to integrate into the modern world by creating consumerism contracts and entering sports activities such as World Cup soccer. In fact, during the upcoming World Cup, North Korea would house some special soccer-themed gold and jewelry and present it to the North Korean national soccer team players if they managed to reach the quarterfinals or semifinals of the tournament! Rex intended to steal this soccer jewelry. Why?"


"As the World Cup tournament began, North Korea's national men's soccer team was doing quite well and managed to defeat rival team China in the early-stage games and then in the 2nd round of the tournament! Then, they had to take down Czechoslovakia to reach the 3rd round. If they then defeated Sweden in the following round, they'd reach the quarterfinals. They'd then have to defeat Nigeria and then most likely Portugal to win in the quarterfinals/semifinals. Everyone predicted heavyweight Italy to reach the finals of the World Cup that year, and North Korea was not expected to get past the 3rd round at best. However, they managed to defeat Czechoslovakia in the 3rd round and downing rival China in the 2nd. Suddenly, the North Korean team was eyeing the special booty being held for them in the Golden Triangle Bank."


"Because North Korea managed to reach the quarterfinals and would face Nigeria, the Golden Triangle Bank arranged an elaborate 'gold-room' celebration-dinner inside the vault-room of the bank! There would be dinner-plates and wine-glasses for the team for reaching the quarterfinals and then again another potential celebratory dinner if they managed to defeat Portugal in the semifinals. This was an excellent moment in sports-history for the nation of North Korea and for globalization-politics, since sports always created opportunities for democratic dialogue in the modern world. However, the cunning thief Rex now also eyed the valuable soccer-trophy gold/jewelry being held in the Gold Triangle Bank waiting for a continuingly victorious North Korean men's soccer team."


"Rex was really an eccentric fellow. He'd read stories in the news of terrorists/thieves working to make 'waves' and subvert 'normal' diplomatic processes involving world sports (specifically soccer!) and globalization dialogue and various 'soccer damsels' who became representatives of a new 'humanitarian aesthetic' in visionary politics. Rex, however, had the dastardly scheme to loot the soccer gold/jewelry from the Golden Triangle Bank from the vault-room during that World Cup soccer tournament before the North Koreans could celebrate with wine and cheese. Rex intended to become a bank employee and claim to be making a political cartoon about the celebration-dinner inside the vault-room before the actual dinner for the United Nations Gazette. When Rex did just that, becoming a bank-teller for the Golden Triangle and then entering the vault-room to take photos for his political cartoon, he used his tranquilizer-dart gun (hidden inside his leather-vest) and sedated the escorts/guards. He then changed clothes with items in his briefcase and stormed out the vault-room with the jewelry in his briefcase, masked and disguised. He fled the bank with his gun, shouting that he was a terrorist working for the CIA."


"Immediately after the robbery, specialists and detectives were employed by the North Korean government to track down the lunatic Rex. Before the soccer celebration-dinner could take place, the international press had to report that the valued soccer gold/jewelry was stolen from inside the vault-room by a crazed lunatic claiming he was a rogue terrorist with the CIA! North Korean information specialists and police began combing the nation and World Cup soccer venues, in search of this elusive madman claiming he had some kind of political intention. It was mad."


"The Golden Triangle Bank boasted such incredible security and monitoring systems that the notion that an eccentric terrorist could enter with such ease and then escape claiming he was working with the CIA was really shocking! While it was true that all the social and media distractions of the World Cup soccer tournament had everyone somehow 'busy' with other details/matters, the bank's interior and vault-room were considered truly impenetrable, so Rex the lunatic really did manage to pull of a stunning (if deranged!) crime at the time. What would the press say?"


"Was Rex the lunatic working for the CIA? Of course not! He fled in a rented minivan and boarded a flight headed to New Zealand. He reported to the Golden Triangle that he'd decided to quit as a former employee, and he was resolved in the decision after hearing of the eerie news that a 'CIA terrorist' had schemed to perform the robbery. The Golden Triangle Bank wanted to minimize the press and simply wondered if Rex (the bank-employee) was somehow 'loosely-tied' to the CIA's deed and just wanted him to disappear as a 'useless witness.' Rex went to New Zealand and wrote a political cartoon in a local gazette in which he described the modern world's love of cars and trophies and gold as reflective of a dangerous new fascination with glory-driven democracy. Was Rex right?"


"The golden tranquilizer-dart gun was a nifty piece of weaponry, and it helped the masked-and-anonymous Rex the lunatic perform a politically-charged daring sports-event troubling crime in the modern world. He used his political cartoon in New Zealand to make claims that the world ignoring North Korea's celebration of its soccer team successes at the World Cup revealed an apathy towards globalization-rhetoric and that crimes in the new era really reflected a human preoccupation with ideology (ahead of actual democracy!). How would Rex be measured alongside other politically-diabolical criminals/terrorists?"


"Rex used some of his stolen booty to make some terrific soccer jewelry for his new girlfriend in New Zealand, a girl he met during his flight there. His girlfriend had been a stewardess for Zealand Travel for some time now and she shared Rex's passion for world soccer and offbeat politics. However, Rex never told his girlfriend about his stunning politically-charged robbery from the Golden Triangle Bank during the World Cup soccer tournament."


"Rex made a portrait of his stewardess-girlfriend for his political cartoon in New Zealand and named her Jane Royal. His cartoon offered ideas about how we use wealth and treasure to talk about capitalism and modern political ideas! Jane Royal sort of became Rex the lunatic's 'Maid Marion' (if we dare compare Rex the lunatic to Robin Hood of course!)."


"Rex spent years in his New Zealand condo bedroom and study-room reading and writing poetry and making political cartoons. He even made one cheering on the North Korean soccer team, hoping their victories would bring more global attention to non-mainstream nations' seeking to integrate themselves into the modern world of 'democratic' politics.' Rex the lunatic was therefore a dystopian-thinker and Jane Royal was his 'soccer damsel' in disguise."


"Rex's political cartoons inspired a new series of X-Men (Marvel Comics) featuring stories about heroic genetic-mutants seeking to deter nuclear warfare and encountering all kinds of real human drama and soft emotions! Rex was so happy with these comics developments that he had one panel printed on canvas as a painting and mounted it above the mantle in the living-room of the new New Zealand den he shared with his stewardess-girlfriend ('Jane Royal')."


"Rex's stewardess-girlfriend was really proud of him, though she never learned of his strange soccer-political crime in North Korea and why he wanted to use political cartoons to comment on the nature and quality of new age globalization-rhetoric. His girlfriend continued to work for Zealand Travels, and Rex the lunatic remained a political cartoonist, comparing himself to the American Thomas Nast! Was Rex really a dreamer or a thinker?"


REX: "I believe in a past life, I was an airline stewardess (a woman!)."



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Sep 22, 2013
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The Irish and the Robot

One final installment in this thread, and this one was inspired by Munich (along with some of the others!).

Thanks so much for reading (signing off),



"Special Agent Carl Yanks was assigned to investigate recent reports that all this global 'soccer damsel' drama was generating too much political troubles for the upcoming Women's World Cup soccer tournament which was to be hosted by America. Yanks worked for the CIA for several years and was to determine how to create appropriate security measures for the World Cup and make sure any kind of terrorism or 'bandit-activity' could be avoided, regardless of all the recent crazy press about 'wild characters' creating soccer/sports oriented propaganda intrigue. Yanks was determined not to fail."


"Meanwhile, Northern Ireland was going to make its first appearance at the Women's World Cup soccer tournament which was being held in America. The Northern Ireland national women's soccer team would appear in its proud bright-green colors and offer the rest of the competitive pool a good run for its money. Northern Ireland would have to contend with heavyweight women's teams such as Germany, Netherlands, Italy, and of course America itself which had already won a whopping 4 World Cup women's titles. The Northern Ireland team didn't want any sullying distraction regarding terrorism (arising from any archaic troubles between British Protestants and Irish Catholics living in Belfast!) to perturb their run for the world soccer title."


"However, despite all this fervor and regulatory focus, a bizarre A.I. alien-robot named Springer landed on Earth's moon and began spying on human civilization. Springer was a green-colored robot who transformed into a helicopter and hovercraft-car, all laser-equipped! Springer was intrigued by the green team uniforms of the Northern Ireland women's national soccer team at the World Cup tournament in America now and wondered how his own green colors complemented humanity's pro-globalization concerns that Protestant-Catholic troubles in Belfast would create soccer-perturbing distractions in America. Springer also noted how American CIA agent Carl Yanks was creating anti-terrorism securities for the women's soccer tourney in America! Springer decided he'd visit Earth and supervise the Women's World Cup tournament...as a universe-alien messenger of democracy."


"Agent Yanks of the CIA made sure there was adequate police force and security at the Women's World Cup soccer tournament hosted in America! The trained and instructed male and female cops would be commanded to make sure all fans, athletes, sponsors, celebrities, and spectators/tourists were not agents of any kind of disturbance or terrorism. This Women's World Cup soccer tournament would be a great achievement for the United States! However, the alien-robot Springer challenged humanity's control over terrorism when he announced that he'd watch the World Cup women's soccer games and see if the Northern Ireland women's team was distracted by any kind of manmade terrorism. Yanks made sure the assigned cops would determine that Springer was merely being a 'dream-terror' messenger."


"However, an American terrorist did indeed notice all this Women's World Cup soccer drama and decided to 'perturb' the tournament by creating some kind of IRA-magnifying distraction during the Northern Ireland game(s). This terrorist, who called himself ALIAS, wanted to see if the Northern Ireland women's soccer games could be used to create some kind of paranoia-constructing global 'event' at the World Cup. He wanted to see if he could use the visitation of the alien-robot Springer to magnify humanity's modern fascination with anti-globalization earthquakes! ALIAS wanted to therefore subvert both the security focus of CIA agent Carl Yanks and the democracy-propaganda of the alien-robot Springer. Therefore, ALIAS was a real modern demolition-man."


"ALIAS showed up at the World Cup game between Northern Ireland and America, which was a semi-final game (Northern Ireland managed to defeat Germany in the quarterfinals and became the underdog-darling of the entire tournament!), with a shiny homemade clear 'ice-gun.' This ice-gun could shoot liquid-nitrogen, instantly freezing the target it shot and making it vulnerable to complete shattering. ALIAS intended to use his special ice-gun to run onto the field during halftime wearing a plastic clown-mask and shoot at the referee waiting for the second half to begin! ALIAS would use this bizarre distraction to remind everyone, including CIA agent Yanks and the alien-robot Springer, that even a women's soccer tournament could not drown out the modern-day human 'desire' for deadly terrorism!"


"When ALIAS achieved his terrible deed, the United Nations Gazette declared the terrorism a sign that the women's soccer tournament disaster would simply remind the global community that the political turmoil between British Protestants and Irish Catholics had created continuing terrorism/talk between British Parliament representatives and Northern Ireland sentimentalists. One of the daughters of the political-wing of the IRA (Irish Republican Army), an Irish actress named Diane, was sent on a diplomatic mission for the remainder of the Women's World Cup tournament. After ALIAS was arrested/incarcerated, Diane felt comfortable appearing at the soccer tournament as a celebrity to talk about how Irish Catholic loyalists were still working within the United Kingdom to ensure peace and normal sports-activity in the 21st Century, and she spoke on behalf of Sinn Fein! Diane cheered on the Northern Ireland team which had managed to defeat the United States by a tough score of 3-2 despite the terrorist-distraction by ALIAS. Diane wanted the world to know sports and entertainment would not be subverted by agents of dread."


"Would all this terrorism intrigue cloud the dreams of peace represented by the Northern Ireland women's national soccer team at the World Cup in America that year? The lingering 'green demon' of anti-establishmentarian terrorism still loomed in the 21st Century, despite the fact that there were many figures in media and law working to make modern global commerce, media, traffic, and networking feel more secure and even fun! The democracy-designing alien-robot Springer departed from Earth, reporting to US President Donald Trump that he was indeed impressed by the efforts of various individuals to make terrorism a thing of dilution. After Springer left, CIA agent Carl Yanks wondered seriously if this proverbial 'green demon' of dogma would ever die!"


YANKS: Well, at least Northern Ireland performed well at the World Cup!
TRUMP: You did an admirable job, Agent Yanks.
YANKS: Thanks, Mr. President.
TRUMP: The stunt by the maniac ALIAS couldn't be avoided.
YANKS: The alien Springer did commend us for crisis-management!
TRUMP: Yes, we did seem to offer a good showing with the World Cup.
YANKS: That's unfortunate Northern Ireland defeated America in the semi-final!
TRUMP: Well, it drew in the Sinn Feinn daughter-diplomat Diane for PR, right?
YANKS: I wonder what anthropologists will say about human terrorism in years to come!
TRUMP: I imagine they'll say civilization wrestled with it as if it were a 'demon' of dollars.
YANKS: Sure...



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