- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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This is a capitalism/innovation themed patriotic tale inspired by the socialization-parables of Carl Sagan and in honor of the film Patriots Day.
Since it's TrumpUSA-rhetoric, I didn't feel comfy posting it in the Writing section of USMB, but I hope you like it. I finally think it's my last capitalism-vignette anyways.
Cheers (signing off),
====
"As U.S. President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump attended a special American car-show featuring newly-designed 'smart-cars' (computer-enhanced/controlled automobiles that had capabilities of driving themselves with small amounts of human navigation controls/commands), a vile terrorist sought to infiltrate the capitalism-idealistic car-show and make trouble. Mr. and Mrs. Trump were shown a model of a new small Alfa Romeo smart-car that had the ability to parallel-park itself. President Trump tweeted, 'If I'm to feel comfy in a car driving me, I want assurances that I have emergency command-overrides conveniently at my fingertips, by George!'."
"The car-show as held in D.C., and the vile terrorist attending was an Algerian named Ajay Satan who wore a sack-head mask for his radical Internet blogs about pornography/censorship in the age of media. Ajay called himself 'Sack-Head' sometimes because of his conspicuous mask. Ajay/Sack-Head attended the D.C. car-show pretending to be a European journalist writing about smart-car development in America. Sack-Head intended to drop sleeping-gas canisters at the car-show and then plant poison ivy in a new Nissan smart-car before driving away in one smart-car he planned to simply steal. However, Sack-Head didn't know that another anti-American terrorist, a Russian woman named 'Baroness' was also in attendance at the D.C. car-show, intending to plant a bomb in a Alfa Romeo smart-car. This was real capitalism drama(!)."
BARONESS: You look like a 'stranger.'
SACK-HEAD: My name is Del; I'm a journalist (from Europe!).
BARONESS: Really; well, my name is Sofia, and I'm from Chechnya.
SACK-HEAD: What's your interest here, Sofia (you look lovely).
BARONESS: Thanks; you have a handsome look too; I'm also reporting.
SACK-HEAD: Have you seen the Alfa Romeo and Chrysler smart-cars?
BARONESS: Yes, and I also noticed the nifty Nissan smart-car!
SACK-HEAD: I have 'plans' for that smart-car.
BARONESS: You struck me as odd, Del; I have a feeling you're secretive.
SACK-HEAD: I'm not an intelligence-officer if that's what you're implying.
BARONESS: Neither am I; I'll be watching you...
SACK-HEAD: Cool!
"Soon after their strange encounter/conversation/chat, Sack-Head began planting his sleeping-gas canisters around the D.C. car-show showroom floor. President Trump and the First Lady fell unconscious immediately, and soon thereafter, all the attendees fell unconscious. Baroness however did not, since she'd planted a gas-mask in the showroom prior to the event, suspecting there'd be some kind of terrorist-threat at the car-show. Sack-Head ran up to her immediately and confessed he thought she was an anti-American terrorist (just like him!). Baroness grinned and shook Sack-Head's hand, confirming she'd had terrorist-intentions at the symbolic car-show featuring smart-cars as well. Soon, the two became a prowling duo of car-show pranksters. Nothing would stop them."
"After the successful deeds were committed by Baroness and Sack-Head at the symbolic D.C. car-show featuring wondrous smart-cars by Chrysler and Nissan (and others), Sack-Head posted a blog on the Internet with him wielding an ominous axe. Sack-Head wrote, 'Maybe I should've hidden an axe in that D.C. car-show showroom, so I could have hacked up the Chrysler smart-car and not simply steal the Nissan I took!'. Sack-Head didn't mention the poison ivy he planted in another smart-car in the D.C. showroom. Sack-Head never crossed paths with Baroness again, but he remembered that day when a symbolic American car-show featuring capitalism-cheerful smart-cars was basically 'shaken' by two 'radicals'."
"Baroness meanwhile had spray-painted some of the cars with a green paint and letters with notes, 'ISIS,' 'Cobra,' and '9/11.' You see, Baroness wanted the car-show to be a deranged presentation of anti-capitalism hysteria. Baroness decided to make an Internet blog herself, one featuring the fictional A.I. warrior-robot Bruticus (from Hasbro's Transformers robotics entertainment franchise). Baroness wrote, 'Bruticus reminds us that America should not have full authority to dominate smart-car sales/marketing just because the USA is the world's unofficial "Big Brother" of aesthetics/intelligence!'."
"A PR-representative at the White House who was working with the CIA decided to approach the two Hollywood (USA) super-celebrities/movie-stars Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise and see if they'd be willing to produce/endorse a new comics series featuring stories about smart-cars involved in all kinds of action-packed scenarios across the globe. The comics would be written by writer/artist William Gibson and would be called Archangel Comics and could serve as a marketing-platform for American pride in homegrown smart-car marketing aesthetics. This was just the sort of 'socialization propaganda' that Baroness and Sack-Head despised, but it was perfectly legitimate 'capitalism praise'."
"Because smart-cars paralleled a new trend in intelligence/innovation revealing an incredible explosion in civilization regarding a nearly-ubiquitous interest in computers/A.I., the terrorist group Cobra decided to make a U.S. Internet scrambling super-virus which they aliased/named 'Video-Man.' You see, Video-Man could re-arrange all kinds of algorithms and substitute letters and whole words for online communications even at the high levels of government (e.g., NSA). With Video-Man on the loose, President Trump tweeted, 'I somehow suspected that all this technology-flowery in the 21st Century would not come without the spiritual cost of apocalyptic dangers!'."
"Sack-Head decided to pen a new series of terrorism-themed comic book short-stories featuring a female Muslim bandit-crusader named Elana who wielded a flaming sabre and a secret book of sacred anti-government texts/messages. Elana was to roam around the world, posing as a eBook merchant all the while subverting/defaming all kinds of globalization-relevant communications ideologies (e.g., World Bank newsletters). Sack-Head's Elana became the opposite of the Statue of Liberty. Sack-Head intended to 'spice' up the modern-era capitalism-globalization discussion with eerie doses of 'terrorism-mentalism'."
TRUMP: I'm still a fan of these 'smart-cars,' Carter!
CARTER: Yes, they're nice capitalism trophies, Mr. President.
TRUMP: The First Lady really liked the Alfa Romeo smart-car.
CARTER: Fortunately, you and she were safe despite the terrorism.
TRUMP: Yes, the authorities are now tracking Sack-Head/Baroness.
CARTER: There's an underground rumor the nefarious pair are married!
TRUMP: Crime always makes for romanticized social gossip/folklore.
CARTER: After 9/11, the world's been 'on edge' about capitalism-rhetoric.
TRUMP: That's why we need innovation (smart-cars) to infuse spirit.
CARTER: Are you worried about the ethics issues involved with A.I.?
TRUMP: No; I don't see myself becoming a mindless passenger in a smart-car.
CARTER: I wonder what Isaac Asimov would've made of all this, sir...
TRUMP: I'm sure he'd say, "Capitalism is breeding a new 'form' of patriotism!"
CARTER: Hail to magazine-consciousness.
====
Since it's TrumpUSA-rhetoric, I didn't feel comfy posting it in the Writing section of USMB, but I hope you like it. I finally think it's my last capitalism-vignette anyways.
Cheers (signing off),
====
"As U.S. President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump attended a special American car-show featuring newly-designed 'smart-cars' (computer-enhanced/controlled automobiles that had capabilities of driving themselves with small amounts of human navigation controls/commands), a vile terrorist sought to infiltrate the capitalism-idealistic car-show and make trouble. Mr. and Mrs. Trump were shown a model of a new small Alfa Romeo smart-car that had the ability to parallel-park itself. President Trump tweeted, 'If I'm to feel comfy in a car driving me, I want assurances that I have emergency command-overrides conveniently at my fingertips, by George!'."
"The car-show as held in D.C., and the vile terrorist attending was an Algerian named Ajay Satan who wore a sack-head mask for his radical Internet blogs about pornography/censorship in the age of media. Ajay called himself 'Sack-Head' sometimes because of his conspicuous mask. Ajay/Sack-Head attended the D.C. car-show pretending to be a European journalist writing about smart-car development in America. Sack-Head intended to drop sleeping-gas canisters at the car-show and then plant poison ivy in a new Nissan smart-car before driving away in one smart-car he planned to simply steal. However, Sack-Head didn't know that another anti-American terrorist, a Russian woman named 'Baroness' was also in attendance at the D.C. car-show, intending to plant a bomb in a Alfa Romeo smart-car. This was real capitalism drama(!)."
BARONESS: You look like a 'stranger.'
SACK-HEAD: My name is Del; I'm a journalist (from Europe!).
BARONESS: Really; well, my name is Sofia, and I'm from Chechnya.
SACK-HEAD: What's your interest here, Sofia (you look lovely).
BARONESS: Thanks; you have a handsome look too; I'm also reporting.
SACK-HEAD: Have you seen the Alfa Romeo and Chrysler smart-cars?
BARONESS: Yes, and I also noticed the nifty Nissan smart-car!
SACK-HEAD: I have 'plans' for that smart-car.
BARONESS: You struck me as odd, Del; I have a feeling you're secretive.
SACK-HEAD: I'm not an intelligence-officer if that's what you're implying.
BARONESS: Neither am I; I'll be watching you...
SACK-HEAD: Cool!
"Soon after their strange encounter/conversation/chat, Sack-Head began planting his sleeping-gas canisters around the D.C. car-show showroom floor. President Trump and the First Lady fell unconscious immediately, and soon thereafter, all the attendees fell unconscious. Baroness however did not, since she'd planted a gas-mask in the showroom prior to the event, suspecting there'd be some kind of terrorist-threat at the car-show. Sack-Head ran up to her immediately and confessed he thought she was an anti-American terrorist (just like him!). Baroness grinned and shook Sack-Head's hand, confirming she'd had terrorist-intentions at the symbolic car-show featuring smart-cars as well. Soon, the two became a prowling duo of car-show pranksters. Nothing would stop them."
"After the successful deeds were committed by Baroness and Sack-Head at the symbolic D.C. car-show featuring wondrous smart-cars by Chrysler and Nissan (and others), Sack-Head posted a blog on the Internet with him wielding an ominous axe. Sack-Head wrote, 'Maybe I should've hidden an axe in that D.C. car-show showroom, so I could have hacked up the Chrysler smart-car and not simply steal the Nissan I took!'. Sack-Head didn't mention the poison ivy he planted in another smart-car in the D.C. showroom. Sack-Head never crossed paths with Baroness again, but he remembered that day when a symbolic American car-show featuring capitalism-cheerful smart-cars was basically 'shaken' by two 'radicals'."
"Baroness meanwhile had spray-painted some of the cars with a green paint and letters with notes, 'ISIS,' 'Cobra,' and '9/11.' You see, Baroness wanted the car-show to be a deranged presentation of anti-capitalism hysteria. Baroness decided to make an Internet blog herself, one featuring the fictional A.I. warrior-robot Bruticus (from Hasbro's Transformers robotics entertainment franchise). Baroness wrote, 'Bruticus reminds us that America should not have full authority to dominate smart-car sales/marketing just because the USA is the world's unofficial "Big Brother" of aesthetics/intelligence!'."
"A PR-representative at the White House who was working with the CIA decided to approach the two Hollywood (USA) super-celebrities/movie-stars Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise and see if they'd be willing to produce/endorse a new comics series featuring stories about smart-cars involved in all kinds of action-packed scenarios across the globe. The comics would be written by writer/artist William Gibson and would be called Archangel Comics and could serve as a marketing-platform for American pride in homegrown smart-car marketing aesthetics. This was just the sort of 'socialization propaganda' that Baroness and Sack-Head despised, but it was perfectly legitimate 'capitalism praise'."
"Because smart-cars paralleled a new trend in intelligence/innovation revealing an incredible explosion in civilization regarding a nearly-ubiquitous interest in computers/A.I., the terrorist group Cobra decided to make a U.S. Internet scrambling super-virus which they aliased/named 'Video-Man.' You see, Video-Man could re-arrange all kinds of algorithms and substitute letters and whole words for online communications even at the high levels of government (e.g., NSA). With Video-Man on the loose, President Trump tweeted, 'I somehow suspected that all this technology-flowery in the 21st Century would not come without the spiritual cost of apocalyptic dangers!'."
"Sack-Head decided to pen a new series of terrorism-themed comic book short-stories featuring a female Muslim bandit-crusader named Elana who wielded a flaming sabre and a secret book of sacred anti-government texts/messages. Elana was to roam around the world, posing as a eBook merchant all the while subverting/defaming all kinds of globalization-relevant communications ideologies (e.g., World Bank newsletters). Sack-Head's Elana became the opposite of the Statue of Liberty. Sack-Head intended to 'spice' up the modern-era capitalism-globalization discussion with eerie doses of 'terrorism-mentalism'."
TRUMP: I'm still a fan of these 'smart-cars,' Carter!
CARTER: Yes, they're nice capitalism trophies, Mr. President.
TRUMP: The First Lady really liked the Alfa Romeo smart-car.
CARTER: Fortunately, you and she were safe despite the terrorism.
TRUMP: Yes, the authorities are now tracking Sack-Head/Baroness.
CARTER: There's an underground rumor the nefarious pair are married!
TRUMP: Crime always makes for romanticized social gossip/folklore.
CARTER: After 9/11, the world's been 'on edge' about capitalism-rhetoric.
TRUMP: That's why we need innovation (smart-cars) to infuse spirit.
CARTER: Are you worried about the ethics issues involved with A.I.?
TRUMP: No; I don't see myself becoming a mindless passenger in a smart-car.
CARTER: I wonder what Isaac Asimov would've made of all this, sir...
TRUMP: I'm sure he'd say, "Capitalism is breeding a new 'form' of patriotism!"
CARTER: Hail to magazine-consciousness.
====
