Post Your BLONDE Jokes Here

[Joz]

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would
tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down from the ceiling and
made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I
was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple
of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss said to her,
"And where do you think you're going?"

(You're gonna love this..... )
She said,
"I'm obviously going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

 

[Said1]

How do you know a blonde had been using your computer?


There's liquid paper on the monitor.....bahdumpbump.

 

[Joz]

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.
The blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.

Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?"
The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram.

The telegram guy says, "It's $1.00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that."
"Comfortable?" the guy questions.
"Yes, you see she reads slow."

 

[Yurt]

*blondie admits had to read the word twice*

:hail:

 

[Joz]

*blondie admits had to read the word twice*:hail:

How the heck are you, Yurt?

 

[Yurt]

How the heck are you, Yurt?

Good, kicken it on the central coast

 

[Kagom]

How do you know a blonde's been playing video games on your computer?

The joystick's wet.

 

[dilloduck]

How do you know a blonde's been playing video games on your computer?

The joystick's wet.

Cmon Kag---that's not just a blonde thing !!

 

[Kagom]

Cmon Kag---that's not just a blonde thing !!

Heh.

A blind guy's sitting in a bar one night and gets really, really, REALLY drunk. He says to the bartender "Hey, bartender, wanna hear a blonde joke?"

Guy sitting next to him says "I don't think you'd wanna do that pal. Y'see, I'm blonde, the bartender's blonde, the waiter's blonde, this guy sitting to your left is a professional wrestler and he's blonde. Now, d'ya wanna tell that little blonde joke of yours?"

And to this, the blind man said "Nah, I don't want to have to explain the joke 4 times."

 

[Joz]

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice
for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie
was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"

Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a
bell but there's one thing I don't understand though..."

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"



A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls
and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her he said, "It's golf balls."

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt
as much as tennis elbow?"

 

[Yurt]

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"



Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted. Submitted


Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?


Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.


Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

 

[Yurt]

Three blonds on death row
Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

 

[Yurt]

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."

Bartender:"What is a B and C?".

Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."

Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

Bartender: "What's a 15?"

Blonde: "7 and 7"