I can't believe this is a real editorial, by a real editorial board.
But the writers couldn't believe that Ms. Monopoly
was real either, when they wrote this spoof on it.
Enjoy! Someone finally shows they have
a sense of humor about all this outrageous rage on the left!
SOURCE WSJ Wall Street Journal: Opinion | Introducing: Das Monopoly™
Can you believe it? NOTE: I edited the image so it's not
copied directly, changes in RED. The rest is unchanged
so you can see the real text with nothing altered but formatting for emphasis.
=============================================
INTRODUCING DAS MONOPOLY
"HASBRO this week unveiled Ms. Monopoly, a new version of its timeless board game that’s modified, as the company put it, so “women make more than men.” Female players, for instance, will get $240 when they pass “Go,” while the guys will still earn the usual $200. Take that, patriarchy.
We are not making this up, so in a similar spirit of politically correct fun, we thought we’d offer other game ideas designed to help American families spark difficult conversations about race, gender, wealth and privilege.
We hope it’ll be easier than ever to turn game night into intersectional shame night.
• Harvard Monopoly: Asian players who roll six are allowed to move only four spaces. This edition supersedes the old Harvard Monopoly, where the same rule applied to Jews. But don’t worry: If you’re competing against friends on your family’s copy of the game, you’ll still get extra turns under the “legacy” rule.
• Green New Monopoly: The “Free Parking” space is reserved for players whose families drive Teslas. Don’t bother trying to buy Reading Railroad or the utilities, since they’re owned by the bank. And there’s no dog token, sadly. Like cows, canines produce methane, which is a potent greenhouse gas.
• Das Monopoly: In the classic game, players who land on “Income Tax” pay 10%. In this version it’s 70%. There’s also a new wealth tax on the richest player, taking 3% of assets each turn. Japanese and European players lose 1% of their cash to negative interest rates. The game comes with a handy table to estimate the players’ Gini coefficient. Das Monopoly can go for hours, thanks to redistribution.
It usually ends with a united playertariat upending the board and demanding that mom make pancakes.
• Monopo-Ze: At the start of the game, each player picks a set of alternative pronouns: ze, zir and zirs, for example, or perhaps for the oldsters a simple they, them and their. Referring to a player without remembering to use the pronouns that ze or they designated results in a fine of $200. Infractions are self-policed.
• Fannie Monopoly: Players who want to buy property can take out a loan from the bank, payable over 30 turns, with 0% down. Land on the right square and you get a government guarantee. If a debtor fails to repay, all the other players must pitch in to cover the losses.
We’re not sure how the Hasbro brain trust will react to these ideas, but it’s clear that the minds behind Ms. Monopoly appreciate the many nuances of modern progressive politics. As we like to say at Thanksgiving in our families, there’s nothing more fun than playing board games while talking to an 8-year-old about sex discrimination."
But the writers couldn't believe that Ms. Monopoly
was real either, when they wrote this spoof on it.
Enjoy! Someone finally shows they have
a sense of humor about all this outrageous rage on the left!
SOURCE WSJ Wall Street Journal: Opinion | Introducing: Das Monopoly™
Can you believe it? NOTE: I edited the image so it's not
copied directly, changes in RED. The rest is unchanged
so you can see the real text with nothing altered but formatting for emphasis.
=============================================
INTRODUCING DAS MONOPOLY
"HASBRO this week unveiled Ms. Monopoly, a new version of its timeless board game that’s modified, as the company put it, so “women make more than men.” Female players, for instance, will get $240 when they pass “Go,” while the guys will still earn the usual $200. Take that, patriarchy.
We are not making this up, so in a similar spirit of politically correct fun, we thought we’d offer other game ideas designed to help American families spark difficult conversations about race, gender, wealth and privilege.
We hope it’ll be easier than ever to turn game night into intersectional shame night.
• Harvard Monopoly: Asian players who roll six are allowed to move only four spaces. This edition supersedes the old Harvard Monopoly, where the same rule applied to Jews. But don’t worry: If you’re competing against friends on your family’s copy of the game, you’ll still get extra turns under the “legacy” rule.
• Green New Monopoly: The “Free Parking” space is reserved for players whose families drive Teslas. Don’t bother trying to buy Reading Railroad or the utilities, since they’re owned by the bank. And there’s no dog token, sadly. Like cows, canines produce methane, which is a potent greenhouse gas.
• Das Monopoly: In the classic game, players who land on “Income Tax” pay 10%. In this version it’s 70%. There’s also a new wealth tax on the richest player, taking 3% of assets each turn. Japanese and European players lose 1% of their cash to negative interest rates. The game comes with a handy table to estimate the players’ Gini coefficient. Das Monopoly can go for hours, thanks to redistribution.
It usually ends with a united playertariat upending the board and demanding that mom make pancakes.
• Monopo-Ze: At the start of the game, each player picks a set of alternative pronouns: ze, zir and zirs, for example, or perhaps for the oldsters a simple they, them and their. Referring to a player without remembering to use the pronouns that ze or they designated results in a fine of $200. Infractions are self-policed.
• Fannie Monopoly: Players who want to buy property can take out a loan from the bank, payable over 30 turns, with 0% down. Land on the right square and you get a government guarantee. If a debtor fails to repay, all the other players must pitch in to cover the losses.
We’re not sure how the Hasbro brain trust will react to these ideas, but it’s clear that the minds behind Ms. Monopoly appreciate the many nuances of modern progressive politics. As we like to say at Thanksgiving in our families, there’s nothing more fun than playing board games while talking to an 8-year-old about sex discrimination."
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