- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
This is a TrumpUSA traffic vignette dedicated to the people of America in honor of this holiday-season, but it's a capitalism-critique (inspired by Grand Canyon), which is why I didn't post it in the Writing section of USMB.
Cheers (signing off),
====
"Do you know about TrumpUSA? It's a commerce-based pro-media 'system' which caters to ambitions about fortune and chance. It's a camera-ideal society albeit fraught with morality-troubles. You might pass by a blue-flower plant and wonder to yourself if TrumpUSA is something like an 'exotic garden' filled with all kinds of American Dream flora! Does this make you feel patriotic?"
"My name is Pippi Longstocking. I live in a fantasy realm where I play all day long and imagine incredible things like orange dragons and giant orange trees. I decided to 'cross-over' into the realm of Earth and play with the citizens of 'TrumpUSA.' I took a job at a paper-route, serving as a paper-girl for a South Jersey local newspaper called the Courier Post. I missed my fantasy realm but was adjusting to life under TrumpUSA."
"My paper-route was not too challenging, and in fact, the suburban neighborhood where I delivered issues of the Courier Post newspaper was quite safe and peaceful. Even though global warming (and climate-change) had made the autumn weather fickle in South Jersey (USA), I dressed appropriately (in heavy red sweatshirts) to meet the demands of paper-gear uniform for Courier Post and personal warmth in the unpredictably cold weather in October. I delivered newspapers everyday at about 4 pm, and I noted how many of the housewives in the neighborhood were fond of receiving coupons in the newspaper and shopping as delighted consumers under TrumpUSA."
"One day, I noted that a particularly remote/isolated cul-de-sac area of the suburban neighborhood I delivered my Courier Post papers to was 'extra-spooky.' There was an eerie quiet and it seemed like there was something afoot. There were two extra parked cars in the cul-de-sac I never noticed before. I wondered where they came from and why they were there. I started walking towards one of the curb-sewer grates by that cul-de-sac to throw out my finished lollipop."
"That's when I came face-to-face with Pennywise. Pennywise is a demonic clown who resides in the Underworld but surfaces in times of great social intrigue and traffic drama. Pennywise surfaced during the Roman Empire when he entreated Cleopatra with a strange balloon and again during WWII when he appeared to a German girl with a strange candy-cigarette. Well, now, Pennywise had surfaced in this eerie cul-de-sac in TrumpUSA and told me there was an auspicious drug-transaction occurring which is why there were extra parked cars in that cul-de-sac. Pennywise had a creepy grin as he stood in that curb-sewer which made me wonder if he was gay."
"Pennywise gave me a strange knife and told me to 'carry out justice' before promptly disappearing. I took the knife he gave me and decided to plant it in the bushes of the house where the drug-transaction in that cul-de-sac was taking place before calling the police. When the cops arrived to follow up on my 'civilian accusation,' they found the knife and knocked on the door of the house by the bush where they found the knife and discovered the drug-transaction and arrested all the individuals involved. I realized I had become a 'sidekick' of Pennywise in helping that demonic clown bust a drug-trade in that cul-de-sac under TrumpUSA. This was a great 'commercial deed'."
PIPPI: Thank you for this special medal, Mr. President!
TRUMP: You're a terrific paper-girl, Pippi...
PIPPI: I'm glad those sinister drug-buyers were arrested.
TRUMP: Did you have any help?
PIPPI: Why, no --- I mean, do you mean --- from an angel?
TRUMP: Well sure, an angel, or perhaps a friend; what else would I mean?
PIPPI: No, it's nothing; maybe you meant I was 'assisted' by a trickster!
TRUMP: What? Like a demonic clown or something? Haha, that's funny.
PIPPI: It sure is; some things are better left subtle, no?
TRUMP: You're absolutely right, Pippi; thanks again for your service.
PIPPI: I'm a proud patriot of TrumpUSA, Mr. President.
TRUMP: I believe you are; the First Lady is impressed too with your work.
PIPPI: Perhaps TrumpUSA traffic is conducive to forms of patriotism.
TRUMP: By the way, Pippi, you were kidding about that whole demonic clown thing?
PIPPI: Of course...there's no such thing as demonic clowns in TrumpUSA cul-de-sacs.
TRUMP: No, I suppose not, Pippi; good work.
PIPPI: I'm returning home, Mr. Trump; but I'll remember fondly our 'mystical exchange.'
TRUMP: You're a 'pretty patriot' of TrumpUSA.
====
Cheers (signing off),
====
"Do you know about TrumpUSA? It's a commerce-based pro-media 'system' which caters to ambitions about fortune and chance. It's a camera-ideal society albeit fraught with morality-troubles. You might pass by a blue-flower plant and wonder to yourself if TrumpUSA is something like an 'exotic garden' filled with all kinds of American Dream flora! Does this make you feel patriotic?"
"My name is Pippi Longstocking. I live in a fantasy realm where I play all day long and imagine incredible things like orange dragons and giant orange trees. I decided to 'cross-over' into the realm of Earth and play with the citizens of 'TrumpUSA.' I took a job at a paper-route, serving as a paper-girl for a South Jersey local newspaper called the Courier Post. I missed my fantasy realm but was adjusting to life under TrumpUSA."
"My paper-route was not too challenging, and in fact, the suburban neighborhood where I delivered issues of the Courier Post newspaper was quite safe and peaceful. Even though global warming (and climate-change) had made the autumn weather fickle in South Jersey (USA), I dressed appropriately (in heavy red sweatshirts) to meet the demands of paper-gear uniform for Courier Post and personal warmth in the unpredictably cold weather in October. I delivered newspapers everyday at about 4 pm, and I noted how many of the housewives in the neighborhood were fond of receiving coupons in the newspaper and shopping as delighted consumers under TrumpUSA."
"One day, I noted that a particularly remote/isolated cul-de-sac area of the suburban neighborhood I delivered my Courier Post papers to was 'extra-spooky.' There was an eerie quiet and it seemed like there was something afoot. There were two extra parked cars in the cul-de-sac I never noticed before. I wondered where they came from and why they were there. I started walking towards one of the curb-sewer grates by that cul-de-sac to throw out my finished lollipop."
"That's when I came face-to-face with Pennywise. Pennywise is a demonic clown who resides in the Underworld but surfaces in times of great social intrigue and traffic drama. Pennywise surfaced during the Roman Empire when he entreated Cleopatra with a strange balloon and again during WWII when he appeared to a German girl with a strange candy-cigarette. Well, now, Pennywise had surfaced in this eerie cul-de-sac in TrumpUSA and told me there was an auspicious drug-transaction occurring which is why there were extra parked cars in that cul-de-sac. Pennywise had a creepy grin as he stood in that curb-sewer which made me wonder if he was gay."
"Pennywise gave me a strange knife and told me to 'carry out justice' before promptly disappearing. I took the knife he gave me and decided to plant it in the bushes of the house where the drug-transaction in that cul-de-sac was taking place before calling the police. When the cops arrived to follow up on my 'civilian accusation,' they found the knife and knocked on the door of the house by the bush where they found the knife and discovered the drug-transaction and arrested all the individuals involved. I realized I had become a 'sidekick' of Pennywise in helping that demonic clown bust a drug-trade in that cul-de-sac under TrumpUSA. This was a great 'commercial deed'."
PIPPI: Thank you for this special medal, Mr. President!
TRUMP: You're a terrific paper-girl, Pippi...
PIPPI: I'm glad those sinister drug-buyers were arrested.
TRUMP: Did you have any help?
PIPPI: Why, no --- I mean, do you mean --- from an angel?
TRUMP: Well sure, an angel, or perhaps a friend; what else would I mean?
PIPPI: No, it's nothing; maybe you meant I was 'assisted' by a trickster!
TRUMP: What? Like a demonic clown or something? Haha, that's funny.
PIPPI: It sure is; some things are better left subtle, no?
TRUMP: You're absolutely right, Pippi; thanks again for your service.
PIPPI: I'm a proud patriot of TrumpUSA, Mr. President.
TRUMP: I believe you are; the First Lady is impressed too with your work.
PIPPI: Perhaps TrumpUSA traffic is conducive to forms of patriotism.
TRUMP: By the way, Pippi, you were kidding about that whole demonic clown thing?
PIPPI: Of course...there's no such thing as demonic clowns in TrumpUSA cul-de-sacs.
TRUMP: No, I suppose not, Pippi; good work.
PIPPI: I'm returning home, Mr. Trump; but I'll remember fondly our 'mystical exchange.'
TRUMP: You're a 'pretty patriot' of TrumpUSA.
====
