Old Age Senility and the Duty to Care For Those Who Once Cared for You

JimBowie1958

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My mother-in-law has advanced senility, and very bad memory issues.

She has friends at the facility she is at, and people treat her very nicely, but within 3 minutes she has forgotten all this and feels lonely, isolated and unloved.

We cannot go to see her as the facility is on lock down, and she calls and begs us to take her out, but we cannot. We talk to her till she calms down, then she forgets everything we said, and feels alone again, and calls again.

Some days she will call 30 times while we are out shopping.

I love my mother-in-law, but she is placing a huge emotional toll on my wife, who wants to serve her mother and uplift her. But it is hard, and sometimes she will cry for ten or fifteen minutes after haning up from a conversation with her mom.

Please pray for my mother-in-law and my wife. My wife has some heavy and painful burdens on her right now.

thank you.
 

sparky

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having dealt with many old timers, i often wonder what's worse, losing it upstairs, or havin' the bod fall apart (and know it)...~S~
 

skye

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Newtonian

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(((Prayers and thoughts of strength for you and your wife )))
Good thoughts and prayers. My wife had to undergo something similar when I was in the hospital last week with heart trouble. At first she was able to visit me - but then no visitors were allowed, not even my wife!

Thankfully, I was discharged.

We (I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses) have provisions made for us - some of our meetings are on telephone conference calls where we can hear each others comments. Our meeting tomorrow will, by internet download, allow us to comment on each question (or relevant points we have found in our personal research) and both to hear and see each other.

But the example in OP is particularly troubling - senility is a danger for us elderly. However, we know Jehovah and Jesus love us, as do our brothers and sisters in the faith. Nothing can separate us from God's love through Christ:

Romans 8:35-39 New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures (Study Edition)

35 Who will separate us from the love of the Christ?+ Will tribulation or distress or persecution or hunger or nakedness or danger or sword?+ 36 Just as it is written: “For your sake we are being put to death all day long; we have been accounted as sheep for slaughtering.”+ 37 On the contrary, in all these things we are coming off completely victorious+ through the one who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor governments nor things now here nor things to come nor powers+ 39 nor height nor depth nor any other creation will be able to separate us from God’s love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 

CWayne

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My mother-in-law has advanced senility, and very bad memory issues.

She has friends at the facility she is at, and people treat her very nicely, but within 3 minutes she has forgotten all this and feels lonely, isolated and unloved.

We cannot go to see her as the facility is on lock down, and she calls and begs us to take her out, but we cannot. We talk to her till she calms down, then she forgets everything we said, and feels alone again, and calls again.

Some days she will call 30 times while we are out shopping.

I love my mother-in-law, but she is placing a huge emotional toll on my wife, who wants to serve her mother and uplift her. But it is hard, and sometimes she will cry for ten or fifteen minutes after haning up from a conversation with her mom.

Please pray for my mother-in-law and my wife. My wife has some heavy and painful burdens on her right now.

thank you.
You have our prayers.
 

CWayne

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skye

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having dealt with many old timers, i often wonder what's worse, losing it upstairs, or havin' the bod fall apart (and know it)...~S~

Losing it upstairs is worse.:(
But one is not aware Skye.....~S~
The mere thought of not being aware terrifies me.

But that's just me.
It isn't just you. Alzheimer's is a horrible, terrifying disease. It robs you of who you are.

Horrible, just horrible.
 

depotoo

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Praying for strength for you and yours. Watching other family members deal with it with their spouse and one their mother-in-law, I believe it is hardest on the family.
 

WinterBorn

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My father-in-law was suffering from dementia and alzheimers before he died a couple of years ago. Yes, it is hard on the patient. But it is hell for the family.

JimBowie, I hope for peace for you and your family.
 
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JimBowie1958

JimBowie1958

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JimBowie1958

JimBowie1958

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My father-in-law was suffering from dementia and alzheimers before he died a couple of years ago. Yes, it is hard on the patient. But it is hell for the family.
I have read about the effects of Alzheimers for years, and was mentally aware of it, but living through it is a very different thing.
The emotional toll is exhausting.
I assume you handled it well, what helped you with it the most? Prayer, talking to my wife and game distractions are helping, but5 only some.
 

HenryBHough

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Every year I build an igloo to retire into when I recognize it's "time".
Every year I lose it.
Spring comes and I can't find it anymore.
So once there's enough snow I build another one.
But then it.....
Oh, shit, I can't remember WHAT it does!
But the damn thing is never there when I need it.
 

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