Zone1 Leviticus 19:18, one of the passages that encourages me to forgive my wife...

[frigidweirdo]

There is nothing wrong with the Bible, 2,000 years ago or today. There is however a problem with mans interpretation of it to suit his ego.

Submitting is not to be a slave or a doormat. It is allowing the man to be head of the house and respecting his authority over it. A relationship is like team work. Each partner has their own roles in it that support and benefit the 'whole'. Similar to a sports team.....each member has their job to help the team win.


In the OP's case (and millions of others) there never should be any abuse of any kind, whether physical, mental or emotional. When there is, the abuser has overstepped. But also in those types of relationships, it's a co-dependency. The abuser keeps abusing and the abused keeps taking it and blames themselves for the abuse. There are alot of psychological issues going on and they both need help in order to get out of that cycle to see themselves as worthy of love and respect, without the abuse. But that's up to the OP to get that help for himself, or he will always be in this same position........whether with his current wife, or anyone else........because those are the types of people and relationships he is programmed to search out.

And why should the man automatically have the authority over the household?

In a sports team, is the captain of the team chosen automatically? Like the one who has the longest hair, the biggest dick, the oldest, the one with the longest nose? No. Often they're chosen based on who could do the job the best.

So why would the authority go automatically to the man, when the woman might be the best person for the job?

 

[JustAnotherNut]

And why should the man automatically have the authority over the household?

In a sports team, is the captain of the team chosen automatically? Like the one who has the longest hair, the biggest dick, the oldest, the one with the longest nose? No. Often they're chosen based on who could do the job the best.

So why would the authority go automatically to the man, when the woman might be the best person for the job?

If that is mutually agreed upon within the relationship and both parties can live within those parameters to be a successful relationship.......but trouble comes when the catcher tries to be a pitcher when it's not his job

 

[frigidweirdo]

If that is mutually agreed upon within the relationship and both parties can live within those parameters to be a successful relationship.......but trouble comes when the catcher tries to be a pitcher when it's not his job

It's mutually agreed upon by two people, whatever it is they agree upon. It's not "mutually agreed upon" that the man ALWAYS holds the responsibility and the woman submits. That's a load of old (2,000 years old) nonsense.

Literally there are two kinds of relationships. One where one person dominates and the other where neither dominate (I have seen a third where the wife dominated the man and the man dominated the wife, very strange, but seemed to half work).

Yes, I'd say your expression "but trouble comes when the catcher tries to be a pitcher when it's not his job". When a man is told "you're the responsible one" but he's NOT RESPONSIBLE at all. My brother in law is an absolute moron, a total loser who is less responsible than his 14 year old son. There's no way in hell he can lead a family, he can barely lead himself, he gambles, I mean, he gambles A LOT and if he has the money, they have no money. Even if his wife tries to control the money he'll still spend it. They got into HUGE debt, they won something like $100,000 on the lottery and decided they could win it again. After losing somewhere in the region of $200,000 they had to start asking people for money, while trying to hide the fact they'd done this.