Jokes

[Jim H - VA USA]

Did you know?

 

[mamooth]

A joke that a 6-year-old got me with ...
---
Kid: What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

Me: Um ... I don't know.

Kid: Mickey Mouse! Now, what kind of duck walks on two legs?

Me: Um ... Donald Duck?

Kid: No, all ducks walk on two legs! What are you, stupid?
---
Yeah, he got me. In my defense, I've told the joke to several adults, and everyone gives the "Donald Duck" answer. I'm nicer than the kid, in that I don't call them stupid.

 

[App'z]

 

[lg325]

 

[Resnic]

A man is at a bar drinking and he drinks so much he throws up on himself and says "oh God if my wife's finds out Ive been drinking again she is going to kill me."

The bartender says "look fella take 10 dollars and put it in your shirt pocket and when you get home pull the 10 dollar bill out and tell her a drunk threw up on you and he gave you 10 dollars to have it cleaned"

The man says "thank you that's a great idea" and he puts money in his shirt pocket and leaves.

The man gets home and his wife is yelling "you were drinking again and you threw up on yourself" and the man says "no no some drunk threw up on me and he gave me 10 dollars to get the shirt cleaned" and he pulls out the money and hands it to his wife and she says "but this is a 20 dollar bill" and the man says to his wife "oh yeah I forgot, he also shit in my pants".

 

[Foul Owl]

What's the difference between a lesbian and a rhinoceros?

About 20 pounds and a flannel shirt.

 

[Votto]

Just found out what the origins of Juneteenth are.

Turns out Blacks just needed a holiday to replace Fathers day.

Makes sense.

 

[miketx]

Why did Will Smith use an open hand?
... everyone knows paper beats Rock

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[Baron Von Murderpaws]

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]