Joke told by the deacon at Mass this Sunday

[Blackrook]

The deacon gave the sermon this Sunday at Mass, and the sermon was about humility.

Humility is a virtue that was very important to Jesus, he even took it upon himself to wash the Apostle's feet as one of his last acts on Earth to teach them how important humility was. You have to view it in the context of the times to understand how shocking it was for a master to wash the feet of a subordinate in Jesus' time. It was a self-degrading act which modern people don't understand because we don't live in a world of masters and slaves. Also, we are used to hearing about the Pope washing poor men's feet on Easter Sunday, so we no longer consider it such a big deal. But to the Apostles, Jesus' act of washing their feet was shocking to the point where Peter refused at first to allow it, and he only allowed it when Jesus told him that if he didn't allow it, he would not have a place in Jesus' kingdom.

Anyway, the joke.

There is a certain group of people known stereotypically for their lack of humility when it comes to God: scientists.

There are many scientists who believe that with their knowledge of the many facets of the universe, and their competence to accomplish great scientific deeds, they do not need God.

So the joke goes, there was a certain group of scientists who presented to God and said, "We don't need you anymore. We can do anything you can do."

And God said, "What can you do, that you don't need me anymore?"

The scientists said, "We can take clay, and out of it fashion life."

God said, "Show me."

So the scientists pulled out a lump of clay, and began to work, molding it, fashioning it...

God said, "No, you're going to need to get your own clay."

 

[Grandma]

Bad joke, worse setup.

It helps if you don't spend several paragraphs insulting your audience's intelligence.

 

[Blackrook]

Bad joke, worse setup.

It helps if you don't spend several paragraphs insulting your audience's intelligence.

It would help you greatly if you were a nicer person.

 

[Blackrook]

Maybe I hurt Grandma's pride.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Atheists, get over yourself.

And get your own clay.

 

[Tilly]

That was funny, Blackrook

 

[Blackrook]

Humility is a lesson I need to learn. I got a lot of flack on another forum because I was tooting my own horn too much. The Bible readings about humility seemed as if they were chosen just for me.

 

[Pete7469]

Maybe I hurt Grandma's pride.

Fuck her.

 

[Pete7469]

I noticed that even today in the middle east, the bottom of the foot is considered as unclean as an ass crack. It's not even just a muzbot thing.

 

[Pete7469]

Humility is a lesson I need to learn. I got a lot of flack on another forum because I was tooting my own horn too much. The Bible readings about humility seemed as if they were chosen just for me.

That isn't a solid expression of humility.

 

[Blackrook]

Humility is a lesson I need to learn. I got a lot of flack on another forum because I was tooting my own horn too much. The Bible readings about humility seemed as if they were chosen just for me.

That isn't a solid expression of humility.

OK, I see what you're saying, but I don't think a belief that a Bible reading is aimed particularly at me is a lack of humility. God can arrange such coincidences without distorting the fabric of reality. When you are religious, you encounter such coincidences on a daily basis. It's part of what makes being religious so interesting, watching God arrange coincidences.

 

[The Great Goose]

God jokes are as bad as God rock. If God had have intended us to laugh, he wouldn't have invented political correctness.

 

[HenryBHough]

Hey, if you needed clay government would give you clay!

In exchange for your vote.......

 

[Pete7469]

OK, I see what you're saying, but I don't think a belief that a Bible reading is aimed particularly at me is a lack of humility. God can arrange such coincidences without distorting the fabric of reality. When you are religious, you encounter such coincidences on a daily basis. It's part of what makes being religious so interesting, watching God arrange coincidences.

I was just bustin your chops.

I agree with what you're saying too.

Sometimes when you really need it the Lord speaks to you in profound ways.

 

[cnm]

It helps if you don't spend several paragraphs insulting your audience's intelligence.

The only thing that would help that joke is an audience of Poles.

 

[Blackrook]

I wasn't trying to insult anyone's intelligence by discussing the foot washing story. What made me realize the true meaning of this story is a movie I saw called "St. Peter the Apostle and the Last Supper."

St. Peter was arrested and was scheduled to be crucified. It's a fictional story, but the story imagines that in his final three days of captivity he told stories about his time with Jesus to two Roman soldiers, and converted them to Christianity.

The story about Jesus washing the feet of the Apostles became clear to me as I watched this movie. The reaction of the Roman soldier was shock and disgust. "No master would ever lower himself to the level of a slave," he said, unbelieving. To the Roman soldier, this part of the story was harder to believe than the miracles or even the Resurrection. Pagan Romans could easily accept miracles and people rising from the dead, but the concept that the leader of a major religious movement would humble himself in such a degrading way was profoundly disturbing.

I said I don't think modern people can appreciate that aspect of the story, because we're used to the idea of Jesus washing Apostle's feet, and every year the Pope washes the feet of twelve homeless men. The concept is therefore, no longer shocking and unbelievable. Also, we don't live in a society with a vast gulf between master and a slave. We do not have the concept that some tasks are "degrading."

 

[cnm]

I wasn't trying to insult anyone's intelligence by discussing the foot washing story.

No one implied you were.

 

[cnm]

The reaction of the Roman soldier was shock and disgust. "No master would ever lower himself to the level of a slave," he said, unbelieving.

Except during Saturnalia, perhaps.

 

[Blackrook]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that maybe, just maybe, the foot washing story is the most important thing Jesus ever taught us.

Before that night, the Apostles were constantly arguing over who would have the superior position around Jesus' table, and who would have the superior position when seated around Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven.

When Jesus washed the Apostles' feet, he taught them that they had everything backwards.

 

[Pete7469]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that maybe, just maybe, the foot washing story is the most important thing Jesus ever taught us.

Before that night, the Apostles were constantly arguing over who would have the superior position around Jesus' table, and who would have the superior position when seated around Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven.

When Jesus washed the Apostles' feet, he taught them that they had everything backwards.

I liked the parables, specifically the one about the land owner who entrusted 3 servants to safe guard and invest hist money. The one who was most successful was rewarded for his effort. The one who did nothing was fired.